Hair Pin Curve
by Blondiebonks
Summary: Life is for living, but what if you had something stopping that? What is you spent you life analyzing every situation, paralyzed by a crippling fear. Erin Purser has been living in the shadow of anxiety for to long but what will it take to get her to live. Follow Erin through her journey of love and loss as a Jacob Black tries to help her live life to the fullest.
1. Chapter 1

_For my driving instructor, I hope you don't mind that I borrowed you for a little while to write this._

 **CHAPTER ONE**

 _Erin Purser_

"Erin" the voice called through the letter box, it was rough and accented in a strange way to these parts. "You're going to have to come out, you've already paid for the lesson" Brian noted as I pressed my back against the front door trying to ease my breathing.

I gnawed further at my lip trying to compose a single train of thought. My hand rubbed ferociously at the Baltic amber around my neck, as if subconsciously hoping the calming properties may be extracted from such a feeble activity.

"Come on Erin" Brian repeated this time with more authority.

My head seemed to be spinning as I tried to ignore the words that kept coming through the letter box. It may have been December but my hands were slick with sweat and I could feel the heat pulsating through my clothes.

"Erin" Brian tried again. "Look we don't have to go anywhere, we can just sit and talk" he tried to assure.

Talk? Talk ... like talking could improve the situation.

I slumped down onto the floor and held my head between my legs compressing my skull in a move that only inflicted more discomfort. It was my attempt to snap myself back into normality. With a well-practiced move I straightened up and began my third round of deep breathing that morning.

Inhale, hold, exhale. Inhale, hold, exhale. Inhale, hold, exhale.

My legs felt as is they may bend and snap at any moment as I pulled myself to my feet, clutching to the door handle for strength.

I could do this. I could do this.

I turned to face the door fully and heard the letterbox drop closed. A twitching hand stretched out and I recoiled against the cool metal of the handle. Gently my hand returned to clasp around the metal and I forced it downwards, opening the door and sealing my fate.

I could do this.

Brian pushed the door open and I flinched away to avoid being struck.

"Morning" he greeted with a toothy smile and the usual swagger that overcame him.

Oh who the hell was I trying to kid, I couldn't do this!

"Can I just have a ..." I began but he gave me a pointed look.

"Just get in the car Erin" he stated throwing the car keys in my direction and I dived a failing of limbs to try and catch them. I missed.

Sure. Just get in the car. Just get in.

He led us down the ice coated pathway and I hesitantly moved across the sheets my converse providing an unsteady footing.

Despite the distance between us I could still smell his heavy cologne which masked the smell of cigarettes. The stench made my nostrils flare, head pulse and chest tighten.

"You could at least try and look a little less pained by this Erin, you know for me" he teased and I forced a smile that was hardly convincing.

Learning to drive is the most difficult task I have ever tried to accomplish. I had never encountered something in life that I had found this difficult, something that didn't rely on a little more revision, looking it up in a textbook or attending more lectures.

Not only did driving require some form of co-ordination but also involved following instructions, using multiple body parts all the while looking around in every direction imaginable in a moving vehicle.

During my first lesson I never even managed to get the car to move. Although we sat there for no less than two hours, discussing exactly how the clutch worked. I remained in a similar stationary state for the month that followed.

Bringing us firmly to present day. Brian was enthusiastic about his work, I was not. He found challenging pupils rewarding, I disagreed. He thought I just needed to get my head around the whole idea of being in a car, he had no idea.

Sally had passed first time. First time! After little for than three months of lessons. Her Dad had gone out the next day and brought her a car. She'd turned up with a Chevrolet Camaro ZL1, even the name made me feel uneasy. I'd refused to travel with her in the death box.

Noah seemed to find driving as easy as breathing, and Paisley had seen driving as bellow her. Quil, well I think he was basically pushed out of the womb with the ability to drive a car. Jacob Black. Well I think for him it was a case of he was proberly driving a car.

Me on the other hand? I didn't know what a car did until it's bonnet hit me in the face. Quite literally. Ouch. But I'll explain that and Jacob Black later.

Brian paced ahead of me striding confidently over the sheets of ice without a second glance back at me. My parents had sourced him from out of town, he came highly recommended with an extensive waiting list and the patience of a saint. Perhaps my parents had anticipated the issues I would be facing.

Over the past month we'd developed a similar routine. It hadn't always been this way, the first lesson I was nervous with anticipation. Despite brandishing a black eye and protruding lump the size of a golf-ball on my skull following a encounter with Black's car I was reasonable optimistic.

Boy was I wrong.

"Want some Calms" he offered, turning towards me as he reached the car and grinning teasingly. I paused hand shaking at the looming door handle.

"No" I muttered taking a steadying breath as I pulled on the handle and lowered myself down into the car. "I'm fine" I lied and the knowing smirk reassured me he knew I was anything but.

"How's your week been?" He paused waiting for a response. He always asked me this, every dam time.

"Just dandy" I complained trying to busy myself as I fumbled to adjust the seat. I did everything to avoid conversation, to avoid discussing me. I hit the remote to adjust the mirrors and watched Brian wince.

I'd already accepted a bill for the damage I'd inflicted to the steering wheel with my nails, having snapped away at the logo with my nervous tendencies.

"It's been a busy one for me" he responded as if I'd asked his eyes desperately trying to get my attention but I fidgeted with the seat belt. "Had two passes" he added brightly. "That's twelve consecutive ones now".

"Congratulations" I noted trying my hardest to remain polite. This was the most painful hour of my week, the one I spent days building up to in dreaded anticipation.

I had tried cancelling, but my parents had started paying in advance and I was under strict instructions not to miss out on anymore. I believed it was a tactic they'd schemed up together.

Brian seemed to reflect my reluctance to talk and filled the hour discussing everyone but me. Which was unnerving as he discussed pupils progress and tried to draw similarities to my own.

"You will get there you know" he tried to assure but I could sense caution in his voice. "You just have to keep working at it" he shrugged.

"Have you ever had pupils that you just know aren't going to do it, like ever?" I questioned picking again at the branded steering wheel which made his brow set into a firm frown.

"One or two. But your not going to be one of them Purser" he assured brightly leaning down to pick up the paper coffee cup. He peeled of the sticker and smiled brightly. "Two more and I get my free cup".

"Coffee's bad for you. Caffeine, it's an addictive drug, you should avoid it" I recommended unable to help myself.

His eyebrows raised and eyes widened making me feel uncomfortable in the chair. "I'll bear that in mind" he shrugged setting the cup down with a light smile. I realised I had revealed something else about myself. Something I'd been trying hard to avoid.

All Brian needed to concern himself with was my lack of emotional composure, he didn't need to no anything else. Especially no more about my anxious, controlling tendencies.

"You gonna start the engine Erin" he beckoned and I realised I'd been staring into space my hands clutched so tightly around the steering wheel they'd turned white.

I was flummoxed and panicked as I released my hands and tried to remember how to start the car.

My eyes must have been wild because Brian leant across and jabbed towards the button on the dash board. "Once to get the electrics on, press it again to start the engine" he noted and I outstretched a cautious finger to rest upon the button.

I spent the next forty five minutes trying to avoid hyperventilating as we moved in a loop around the La Push estate something which continued to flummox me.

The bend was sharp and my hands flailed about the steering wheel as I tried to grasp the ten-to-two position he continued to repeat. My arms were a criss-cross and as I stared down to try and correct them my vision on the road became impaired. My eyes shot up suddenly aware, and I performed a unplanned emergency stop.

My body jerked so far forwards I thought the seatbelt had forgotten it's purpose. I looked sheepishly towards Brian concerned he would sue me for whiplash. I blew back the hair from my eyes, and gently thumped my head against the wheel. From the corner of my vision I watched the black cat make it safely to the other side of the road.

Brian took it in his stride and began to demonstrate as he spoke using his dual controls. "Just imagine the brake is made of glass, really really expensive glass. So you just press it lightly" he seemed conscious I was to far gone by this point to be taking in a word he was saying, I didn't speak car.

"And by the way, you get extra points if you kill it next time" he smirked as my mouth dropped in horror.

I was uncertain as of whether to take him seriously.

The clock seemed to be moving slower than usual and I calculated I still had another eight minutes before he would been considering directing me back to the house. That was if I was lucky. As Brian had a habit of throwing in a extra free ten minutes, I was suspicious he was aware of the way my eyes were never far from the clock. He'd call me out on it at some point, I was certain.

Traveling back home didn't settle the tension in my stomach. A lot of things could go disastrously wrong during a hour lesson, and I still had a few more minutes to live out. I'd already nearly killed a cat. We could crash, the car could explode, we could get into a road-rage incident, I could easily be killed or worse I could kill something … Somebody. The possibilities of disaster were endless and had my throat going painfully dry.

Brian slammed the dual-control on jerking me into the present and the glaze peeled back from my eyes. My body felt sore as I spat hair from my mouth.

"I know you and Black have history but you didn't need to try and kill the guy, jeez" he snickered flicking a loose hand up to the man before the bonnet in a friendly greeting.

I began to scrape feverishly at the steering wheel picking at the surface with a shaking fingers.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hello, welcome to Hair Pin Curve, my new fiction. If you are new to my writing I have another fiction called Doing It The Blonde Way (also based on twilight), so be sure to check that out on my profile if you enjoyed this.**

 **Any feedback is greatly appreciated, positive or negative as I am looking to develop my skills.**

 **This fiction is inspired by my only difficulties in learning to drive, a battle with took me over a year and a half. Not only did I find myself lacking in any skills need to be a successful driver, but worse my Grandfather has unexpectedly died after a few weeks into lessons and shortly after that I began developing my Fibromyalgia symptoms which turned my world on it's head. During the time I spent learning to drive I battled for a diagnosis, through some really dark times and a horrific family fall-out.**

 **This fiction has been rattling around in my head for a long time now inspired after a very difficult lesson, and based losley around some of my own experience with learning to drive and that of friends. All thought the OC story is quite different from my own, Erin I hope will draw some understanding into the world of anxiety, a issue so many face.**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

 _Brian Albe_

Getting into driving instructing had been coincidental, a complete accident caused only by a redundancy and the need for financial stability. Working in management had been lacklustre, boring,but teaching people to drive? Now that was a daily dosage of adrenaline. Especially when you get pupils like Erin.

People like Erin Purser got me out of bed in the morning. She gave me a purpose.

Today however had tested even my nerve. She was her usual self; anxious, secretive, cagey and rude. The lesson rolled out much like any other as I tried to prise my way into her vice like mind. But her walls were unbreachable.

Much like my Wife she proved that women were endlessly frustrating. Only Erin was an enigma quiet unlike any I'd seen. My first Wife had been a little testy, a little bit out there. Which made me determined to find someone quite stable in my next marriage. And Christi was exactly that, she worked short shifts at a convenience store and was there every night after my thirteen hour working day. Christi seemed almost boring in comparison to the swirling mystery that was Erin.

I was used to pupils being reckless, dangerous even a little absurd. But slamming down on the dual-brakes today had me questioning Erin's sanity. She'd nearly killed a man.

In lessons it wasn't unusual for her to glaze over, but today was different. The girl was trance like, her mind seeming to fail to process Jacob Black before her.

It was any guess exactly what was going on in her mind at that point. But the moment I jerked her back to the present the Erin which had been caged up for the past few weeks came ragging out.

The pair had history. First lesson she came up with a face that looked like it had just done a round with Mike Tyson. She'd muttered something about a car bonnet and Jacob Black. He'd not come up since. But it was the intense heat in Erin's eyes when she muttered something about Jacob that told me she had unresolved feelings towards Black. Which made me consider that perhaps she had intentionally tried to run him over. At least initially.

Through idle gossip I'd picked up the information I required. Erin had grown up in the shadow of Quil, Jacob and Embry. She was four years younger than group, but through family friends spent most of her time being palmed of with them.

"I know you and Black have history but you didn't need to try and kill the guy, jeez" I snickered flicking a loose hand up to the man before the bonnet in a friendly greeting.

Erin began to scrape feverishly at the steering wheel picking at the surface with a set of shaking fingers.

Jacob hardly acknowledge me, he only had eyes for one person, and she was sat a shaking mess beside me.

I knew better than to touch her to try and soothe her. Erin seemed almost afraid of me.

Her skin was much lighter than most in La Push which hinted at mixed bloodlines. The hair was the biggest give away. It was auburn, thick and in dense curls. Her face was freckled but her eyes dark like most from these parts.

"I … Brian have I hurt him?" she gushed her stare drawing down into the steering wheel.

"Like I said you _nearly_ killed him" I teased.

I watched her hand move from the steering wheel to clasp around the beaded necklace, and I audibly sighed in relief. The necklace was more like a choker, it sat above her collar bones, the beads in Autumnal shades.

It was a bizarre feeling to watch someone crumble before you. It was just strange to see a woman just break, to fall apart right there and then.

Erin stiffened, her eyes in her lap, her body rigid. It was tempting to try and click my fingers in her face, to snap her out of it. But that just seemed rude. Instead I watched in silence as her hair fell forwards sheltering her and a jerking began to take hold. She was shaking, violently shaking, shaking with, fear.

"Erin" I began but my mouth felt dry.

Her hands where clutching at her skull, tightly pressing down as if trying to squeeze the pain away.

Maybe she would ride it out?

I didn't get to find out.

The door jerked open and Jacob appeared in front of her. In any normal circumstance I would have told the guy to back of, but his eyes seemed telling. He reached for her calmly, his composure put me at ease.

"Erin!" his voice barked at her and it took me of guard. It was surprisingly firm, and he grabbed at her hands prising them from her skull making her head flinch upwards.

Jacob turned her into him, swirling her in the seat, her quaking frame fully facing his.

"You are okay" he commanded. "You are okay. I am okay. No one is hurt. No one is trouble. Everything is okay, I'm here" He stated his face stern. But his words of assurances had me calmed, certain that everything was going to be okay. That Erin having some sort of breakdown in my car was just a blip.

Her breath was ragged but easing although the shake continued and she shifted back from his touch.

I looked from her to Jacob, a mixture of confusion and uncertainty.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hello readers, thank you for another view. I hoped you didn't mind the change in perspective. The next chapter will return to Erin's narrative and we will meet another familiar character from the Twilight series. I will be on holiday for the next two weeks so you will have to wait a little while for any new updates on both of my FanFictions.**

 **LovelySakura777 thank you so much for the favorite on Hair Pin Curve, I am so glad you are enjoying both of my Fictions! And WOW I never expected such an amazing first review for this story thank you so much for that it made my day, and put all my neves to rest!**

 **I am so happy your enjoying the story, I've been desperate to publish it for a while but had to get a bit further along with Doing it The Blonde Way first. Haha, a issue we both share! I horrifically under estimated just how difficult learning to drive would be, but it seems to be an issue a lot of people have to face. Its so lovely to hear about other people's journeys, writing these stories has not only allowed me to share my experiences but allowed other wonderful people like yourself to voice their own stories which is lovely!**

 **Anxiety is a massive part of some people's lives, especially Erin's it takes over every aspect of it. I hope you don't mind the change in narrative it will alternate throughout between Brian and Erin as I think it's important to get a different perspective on anxiety and how it not only affects the suffer but those around her.**

 **Loula Lahote thank you for the follow on the story, if you like Paul be sure to check out my PaulxOC imprint story called Doing it The Blonde Way :)**

 **Psycho-Jellybean thank you for the follow on this story as well, I hope you enjoy it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

 _Erin Purser_

"You, you ran him over?" Quil was trying to remain serious but the smile that tugged on his lips was blantalty giving him away. "I think you've just made my day, no scrap that you have made my week Erin!" He exclaimed his voice thick with laughter.

I remained rigid in the passenger seat in astounded disbelief.

"This is not funny Quil" I grunted feeling my eyes beginning to sting.

He turned his head towards me, his mouth had softened in realising my distress.

"I'm sorry no it's not funny … It's fucking hilarious! I mean you must of really pissed him of because he hasn't even mentioned it" he smiled gleefully at the information I'd provided.

"I nearly killed someone Quil. You aren't understanding the gravity of the situation" I began pushing back the lump in my throat. "I could have gone to jail, he could have been hospitalised" I began to gasp feeling my breathing hitch.

He set a uncomfortably warm hand on my knee but withdrew it as my eyes widened in horror at the physical contact.

I didn't like being, touched.

"Hey, look there he is" Quil leant forwards honking down on the horn which had me recoiling into the seat at the horrible sound. "You should go apologise. Will that stop you getting so angsty, your real skittish today Erin" he accused waving Jacob towards the car.

"Apologise?" I wailed.

"Yeah, you know, say sorry. Like you said you could have totally killed him" he mocked.

"This is not funny Quil" I hissed. "Oh Quil, oh my, what have you done, he's coming, Quil stop him … Quil do something!" I rushed the words tripping over the sentence as I looked at the towering man approaching the car.

Quil looked over at me his smile begin to fade and concern replacing the initial humour.

"Erin, it's just Jacob Black" he bit down on his lip as he heard my gasp.

It wasn't just Jacob Black. It was a infatuations man, who awoke feelings in me I'd never encountered before, and sent my anxiety to dizzying heights. From head to toe my body began to go numb as the man lumbered towards the vehicle with a frown across his rugged face. He hated me.

My heart rhythm became unsteady and palpitations rocked me in the chair as my limbs shook.

"Erin?" Quil asked doubtfully his hands fanning about hesitant to dare to touch me again.

I gasped my breaths as my face met Quil's and I watched the colour drain from him as I sat splayed out rigid against the seat.

"Hey it's okay" he soothed. Okay? It was anything but.

The door opening flooded the car with a gust of December chill and had me escalating into a gasping fit. I rasped for air, unwillingly inhaling the musty scent of engine oil, trees and cologne.

"Jake" Quil stated more than greeted a sheepish look about him. "Erin wanted to say hi, and apologise, for killing you, almost" he laughed as he spoke.

I forced my head to move, eyes wide, jerked open I looked towards Black expecting a sneer, or face of amusement to meet me.

"Is this because of what happened with the car bonnet. You really need to let it go" his words were light but he face was serious and his eyes drew into mine searchingly.

The look did strange things to parts of my body I didn't want to think about. It sent me into full hyperventilation. I clawed at my neck sending searing scratches down as I attempted to breath.

It was as if the car was closing in around me. The space felt constricted and narrow. Perhaps if I could prise myself free I would be safe. But my body was unable to shift, it remained pinned back against the seat my breathing hitched.

The minutes rolled on in silence and the attack continued. The car was crumpling inwards, I was being squashed, I was going to die, and I was just sat there.

A feather touch. Large calloused fingers, rested against my wrist. My breaths became shallow, the air restriction making my vision fuzzy.

I felt Blacks fingers resting against my pulse, then his thumb began to rub a small circle around it. His touch was burning but I couldn't pull away.

The impending crushing of the car had paused. My mind had grasped that I wasn't going to die, the car wasn't caving in. No. Instead I was being soothed by Jacob Black, and I couldn't decided which sensation was more disturbing.

My heart remained in sudden rapid beats but the palpitations had evened out and I felt the colour begging to return to my face. Hot, red embarrassed colour.

Emotions were crawling in my stomach, causing a surge of hormones that were making me feel light.

"You have got to show me how to do that" Quil muttered as if I was invisible. Jacob's thumb had stilled but his grasp on my arm remained.

I turned slowly to look at him. My face was thick with sweat, I could sense the read splodges which would have covered my neck. My chest remainedl rising and falling dramatically.

He looked at me with a dark glare. Bordering somewhere between hatred and loathing. It made my eyes sting again as he released my wrist.

"Erin, was that one of those, things again?" Quil seemed nervous with the question. He'd seen it before, a long time ago. .

"You mean a panic attack" Jacob answered his voice raspy. "Princess here had a panic attack. She clearly has anxiety issues" he said scornfully his words harsh.

Anxiety issues.

My mouth made a perfect O as I looked between the pair who were discussing me with the bluntness usually voiced by medical professionals.

"I have not got anxiety issues!" I roared my voice flaring into a hysterical wail at Black.

The height of Quil's car had us at eye level and I knew he could see the tears which were collecting in my lashes.

"Erin" Quil warned. "Jacob was just trying to help" he corrected defending his friend.

I closed my eyes ignoring the pair and refocused on my breathing.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

"I don't need help" I whispered to no one but myself, opening my eyes.

The car felt to constricted to be in anymore, and the far safer option would be to walk home.

I shifted forwards grabbing the rucksack from the footwell and shuffling towards the edge of the seat.

Jacob looked pissed, majorly pissed.

He didn't move from my path and I was to nervous to speak to him again following my outburst. I slid down in front of him, my body brushing against him provoking a disturbing tingling reaction.

"Erin where are you going now?" Quil leant over to shout at me as I side stepped Jacob.

"I'm walking home" I admitted slinging the heavy rucksack over my shoulders. The thing felt as if it weighed as much as me. It sat comfortably behind the parka coat.

"The hell you are, after that episode, you're get yourself killed" he argued over Jacob's head, who remained facing into the car ignoring me.

"Quil, over thirty-two thousand people are killed in road traffic collisions in America a year. It is far safer to walk. Cars are dangerous" I answered stepping forwards into the strong wind.

I could hear Jacobs throaty laugh and watched him shake his head back and forth.

My life was spent trying to avoid anything dangerous.

Drugs.

Alcohol.

Smoking.

Cars.

Motorbikes.

Boats.

Planes.

Animals.

People.

Feelings.

Boys.

Lifts.

Heights.

Woodland.

Germs.

Storms.

Water.

Sex.

And Jacob Black, especially Jacob Black.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hi guys, I've been itching to update and am glad to be back with my Ipad so I can start again. I tried to go technology free for my two weeks break but found myself desperate to write so I am somewhat relieved to be back from my break now. Please review if you can!**

 **So thank you to ShaymieTehShaymin for favouriting and following my story! I've had a look on your profile and am planning on having a read through your Twilight stories they sound very interesting.**

 **CandiLover thanks for the favorite and follow on Hair Pin Curve! I must confess I never even realised you could do FanFiction for wrestling so I am very interested to have a look at your posts to see what its all about.**

 **LovelySakura777 thanks or another review! I'm glad you didn't mind the change in perspective, back to Erin in this chapter and things continue to go badly for her. I always used to wonder what my driving instructor must have thought of me while I was learning (I think I would be to embarrassed to know in all honesty) so Brian will be giving a almost brutal commentary of Erin as the fiction continues.**

 **capncaycay thanks for favourting Hair Pin Curve!**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

 _Brian Albe_

The warmest day of the year so far, a chirp woman announced on the radio station as I pulled up outside Erin's house. It was big news considering we were close to Christmas, a pupil earlier, a science major had voice something about Global Warming and how the end was nigh.

Erin hated the warmth. I was starting to become aware of that. It made her more irritable, more nervous. The heat seemed to prolong her panic attacks, even induce them. The cool air of the air conditioning blew out in the car making the leather seats more bearable.

I tolerated the heat much better. After all I spent my only two weeks of vacation a year in the Bahamas.

Today was going to be a good day, I just had a feeling about it.

Maybe having a test pass this morning had bolstered my spirits, either way I felt a wave of confidence.

I rolled up, applied the brake and climbed out the car. Being early allowed me to sneak a quick cigarette. It was a standard requirement to prepare myself for a lesson with Erin. Finishing a Newport pulled a mist of calmness into my mind, it settled everything.

My vantage point leant against the car door allowed me a view into the crooked house Erin lived in. Her Mother ran multiple jobs, while her Father was a trucker, hauling loads across country. At the back of the house stood a annex complex for her Grandparents. Erin's eldest brother Noah, and sister Paisley somehow fitted into the small building.

Erin had the rumor mill running. Noah and Paisley had flew through school fitting in with their dark skin and even darker hair. However Erin. She was a creamy. Erin belonged to neither ethnic group, both seemed reluctant to accept her.

They claimed that's why she'd left school for those few years. That was why she disappeared.

Shouting was echoing of the building, reaching me down at car.

I could see figures moving behind the netted curtains and strained my eyes to focus on the shapes. It was definitely a man and woman. The shapes were distinct and judging from the outline I'd hedge my bets on one being Erin.

A chuckle rose in my throat as the front door flew open, so hard the wooden frame of the house crunched.

I couldn't decipher which burly man it was. The gang of tanned, steroid Giants that roamed La Push were not safe from idle gossip either. They were mentioned more than creamy. It was an exciting part of life in Forks, to consider what went on over in the bordering La Push. And teenagers loved nothing more than to gossip.

Dropping the cigarette I reluctantly stubbed it out with my pump.

The man looked from left to right his body shaking and he broke forwards heading down the porch with a heavy look about him.

Erin stepped into view her face was blotchy, and eyes looked red as if she'd been crying. Her hair was pulled into an careful braid with a powder blue summer dress contrasting the converse she always wore to drive in.

"Everything alright, dude?" I shouted to the man who was about to head in the opposite direction.

His head snapped back and eyes noted me with a curiosity.

"You're Erin's driving instructor" he said it as it was a joke his eyes lighting up, but a seriousness quickly re-overcame him. "There's been some bad new news, Billy Blacks been hospitalized. Eumonia."

"Jacob's father" I stated.

The man looked back towards Erin, whose legs were shaking like thin pieces of spaghetti.

"Look after her" he nodded and with that was gone towards the tree line opposite the street.

Erin held it together for most of the lesson. In fact she seemed reasonably well placed today on the emotional wellbeing scale. Somewhere between uncomfortable and unhappy, compared to her usual hysterical, distraught.

Perhaps my certainty hadn't been misplaced.

"If you turn left out of here" I instructed.

I suppressed a smile as she looked panicked and attempted to check her mirrors while indicating rushing the simple routine, turning it into a clumsy maneuver.

"Mirror, signal, maneuver" I reminded her, and frustration flared in her eyes. "And that's a funny left" I added correcting her indicating. Girls were terrible at differentiating between left and right.

I watched her carefully. Her hands began to clench around the steering wheel. The nails dug into the leather and she began to swallow repeatedly.

"We … The main road" she gasped letting go of the wheel as the car continued to roll in gear.

"You're ready Erin, I wouldn't make you do anything you weren't capable of" I assured.

"No, no no!" She screamed her hands failing about as she gave up control of the car forcing me to lean across and pull us onto the side of the road.

"Erin, it's jut the road, I was just going to get you to drive down to the end, go around the roundabout and then go home. It's not like I was taking you onto the carriage way" I laughed but her face was contorted with horror.

Red splotches began to stretch across her chest, as she gasped for breath her chest heaving. BeadS of sweat ran down from her face onto her chest as her hands began to clench and unclench the wheel rhythmically.

What irrational fear, panic, or thought had overcome her she didn't say. But she began to struggle with the seat belt hitting at the release button with jittering hands. It finally cut loose and she grabbed the door handle and was out of the car before I could pull her back. As she ran she kicked up the dirt after her and I hesitated torn between pursing her.

I shook my head and pulled out a cigarette, twitching it between my fingers. Stepping out the car I rested my head against the roof banging it gently in pent up frustration.

It was going to be an interesting phone call to her parents.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Yet another disaster from Erin! Love to here any driving horror stories you guys have!**

 **Doing it the Blonde Way my other Twilight Fiction has just been updated. Be sure to check in next Friday for the next update where we go back to Erin, and see what happens when Jacob starts to text Erin!**

 **A huge thank you goes out to Brooke (Brookeworm3) for following and favouriting Hair Pin Curve, and the follow and favourite on my profile I am so grateful!**

 **Thank you lmilne for following Hair Pin Curve.**

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	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

 _Erin Purser_

Sebastian my feline companion twisted himself around my legs, his skin brushing against my flesh as I clenched my hand around the mobile. He'd travelled all the way from Nebraska having climbed into the back of my Fathers truck and had been a fixture of my life for the past five years.

 **Jacob: Hey Princess I looked it up, about seventy thousand pedestrian killed last year ;)**

I looked at the phone as if it was something toxic.

Princess was not an affectionate nickname. He'd called it me when I was eleven, he was sixteen and drooling over some girl called Isabella Swan, and the name had stuck since. Unlike his crush, apparently I was rude, demanding and snobby. That's what he'd called me.

Now his usual comments centred on me being uptight, frigid and still snobby. Or at least that was what I heard from Embry who lacked the filtering Quil did.

I consider the text. The figure was large, not as large as road traffic accidents but it still stumped me. The sinking feeling dawned on me. If walking wasn't safe, then perhaps it would be better to stay inside?

My parents had been forced to pay for homeschooling for two-years at my worse. It was just after my eleventh birthday, not long after things became different here. Quil had avoided me for months, started hanging out with a strange crowd and rumours flew. Jacob moved away, over into Forks.

I lived within the confines of the house unable to bring myself to leave. Things were better now. Therapy had helped me to go so far, but the rest was down to me.

The phone buzzed again.

 **Jacob: If you were thinking about staying held up in the house you need to factor in the risk of a Eathquake, Fire, Tornado, Gas Leak, Flood, Blizzard, Aircraft accident, Mass murder, I mean really the possibilities are endless. Got any odds for me Princess?**

My mouth felt dry and chest strung tight. If it hadn't been for Sally's distraction I would have phased into a attack.

"Is it him again?" She grunted her face hard.

"Who?" I questioned lightly trying to sound clueless.

"You know who. Erin please I can read you like a book. Every time you look at that phone I can see you playing out a conversation inside that little messed-up mind of yours" she quipped firmly.

Sally was everything I wanted to be. She was confident, straight-talking and funny. She wasn't afraid of heights, or cars, or people. Sally had swam in the Coral Reef, been underwater in one of those shark cages, she had even held a snake at the zoo once.

Sally was fearless.

"My heads not that messed up" I corrected unable to meet her gaze.

"You know I didn't mean it like that" she softened, realising she had perhaps upset me.

"I know what you meant Sally" I sighed, pulling my legs up underneath me. "It's just I wish it wasn't true that's all".

"We can't all be stunningly-normal Erin. Some people have to be a little … Odd" she reminded me. "Anyway I bet some guy out there would totally dig the crazed thing" she shrugged trying to sound positive.

"I don't want some guy" I shot back my eyes narrowing. "I am perfectly fine on my own".

"Of course, your completely fine" she mocked rolling her eyes to the ceiling.

I stared her out from across the sofa, but her mouth remain pressed in a firm line.

"Hey Bitches stop bitching" Paisley warned prancing into the room on high-booted shoes that made her legs look endless. Noah was a step behind her, his face looking strained as if he was trying to contain himself from blowing his lid.

His eyes softened as he met are gaze. "Good afternoon Ladies" he announced making Sally swoon.

"Noah" she pushed herself forwards in the chair thrusting her chest out.

"Where are the Old Timers?" Noah asked his glare remaining fixed on Sally.

"In the garden, she's having a bit of an episode. I'd give her some time" I warned but Noah flipped his hand dismissively at the thought of are Grandparents.

"I just wanted to make sure they're out the way. We need to talk, privately" Noah directed the statement to me and I looked at him defiantly.

"There's nothing to talk about" I shrugged.

"There's everything to talk about Erin, I'm busting a gut to get the money to help you got to University. All I'm asking in return is that you learn to drive. The least you could do is stay in the car for a lesson" Noah stressed but kept his voice even.

"I don't want to talk about this" I said attempting to close him down.

Paisley, his twin was banging about in the kitchen and Sally was trying not to look awkward keeping her stare diverted.

"Well that's a shame because I do Erin. I'm telling you now, this is your last miss one more lesson and that's it, I stop paying for it all. No University" he threatened.

"You wouldn't!" I wailed my voice becoming thick with emotion.

"Don't test me again Erin" Noah threatened ceasing the conversation there and striding out of the room following Paisley.

"Jeeze he's so hot when he's pissed off" Sally gushed squirming on the seat. "What did you do this time?" She added as an after thought looking hopeful.

"I got out to the car during a lesson. I walked off" I shrugged trying to play the incident down.

"How is it you're driving instructor hasn't dropped you yet?" She laughed playing with a dark curl.

"Because I'm not that fortunate Sally" I complained kicking of the converse and grabbing at Sebastian cuddling the protesting cat into my bosom.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Thank you for the view, and all your continued support! Leave me your thoughts.**

 **Don't forget to check out Doing it the Blonde Way which has just been updated**

 **Jacobslover2014 thank you for following the story.**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you for taking the time to leave me a review! Haha that is a good one, I recall driving over many, many things while learning to drive, so I share you pain there! I completely agree with that one: it is so reckless and unnecessary. Thanks again for the review!**

 **illowKP thanks for the favorite! Completely agree with you over loving books more than the movies!**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

 _Brian Albe_

The garage parking lot was full and I blocked a vehicle in my hurry to get inside. Erin's Mother was on shift, and the next person was Noah, the eldest sibling.

Noah was a good-guy, one of the better ones around here. He lacked the look of a steroid filled giant which added to the good-guy theme.

I locked the car shoving the key deep into my jeans as I followed the heavy thudding of music coming from inside the brick building. The place stunk of petrol and had you not of known better you would have considered it a scrap yard. But it was notorious in both La Push and Forks as the best mechanics for miles.

"Noah!" I called into the space, loitering at the shutter door.

Noah had been doing mechanics straight out of school, spending most of his high-school years trucking with his Farther left him well prepared. Graduating school he started as an apprentice. Working his way up he brought the business out, well him and his business partner anyhow.

I would have shouted again had someone not have appeared. I was cutting it fine now, my next student was back in Forks.

"Noah's out, can I help?" The man seemed surprisingly cheery considering his father was in hospital. In fact he seemed hardly phased.

"Sure can" I said gladly recognizing Jacob. "I'm Brian, I saved you're life. You know when Erin nearly ran you down" I chuckled and the name seemed to register with him.

His mouth pulled into a smile. "Oh yeah, Princess, she's a funny one" he laughed. "How's she getting on with the driving?" he asked.

Spending my day with people I had them pretty worked out, and I despite Jacob's causal tone I sensed his curiosity for Erin. He was concerned, interested?

"Erin would find it a whole lot easier if she wasn't carrying so many demons" I admitted. "I mean I don't think she'd find it easy. She's not a natural driver, but the panic makes it worse for her" I shrugged.

He kicked at the ground his body tense.

"She's always been the same. Well at least from what I remember. At school she was always getting put down, you know became she's so pale. She was just different. It made her a little fragile I guess. Then she got a little messed up after that" he cut of turning to look at me with a heavy stare.

"But Noah really wants her to do it, to learn to drive you know" he divulged.

"Ah" I paused uneasy on how to proceed. "Yeah, I came to speak to Noah about that. She got a little unnerved, got real worked up,you know how she can br. Shot straight out the frigging car!" I ran a hand over my shaved head.

Jacob let out a low whistle, but his shoulders tensed. "Crazy Princess" he laughed shaking his head. "I'll give Noah a call. See if he can try and pick her up or something".

* * *

I jumped back to the present leaving behind the memory of a week ago.

"Purser" I greeted cheerily puffing a little smoke in her direction. "I've brought the handcuffs today" I teased but I saw the uncertainty pass over the eyes. A moment of doubt.

She gave me a small, half smile which looked lost in her watery eyes.

"Let's just drive shall we" I suggested gesturing for her to climb into the passenger side.

The nod was limp. Everything about her looked fragile today. Her face seemed even paler than usual, her eyes were shadowy and it was as if she had been kept awake.

The parking lot was crowded with teenagers, they lumbered about, hollering one another and jeering, sounding their car horns and blocking the pathway. I was tempted to give some the finger but felt the pressure of keeping Erin calm. Or at least as calm as she could manage.

"You spoke to Noah" she almost hissed, and I watched for a sign of nervousness. It took a few seconds, she began pulling at a thread of her ripped jeans.

"I kinda had to kiddo, didn't leave me much choice. You went AWOL and you Mother wasn't picking up" I felt a twinge of uneasiness overcome me at the repercussions of seeing Noah.

"Noah really wants me to do this whole driving thing. My sister wouldn't, you know she thinks she above it. Mum doesn't drive. So it'd make me the first girl in the family. I think he has a bet or something going on with my Father" she divulged in a chunk that had me straightening up and eyeing her uneasily.

Erin was never normally so loose with her tongue and as if realizing she remained tight-lipped for the rest of the drive.

"So you and Jacob huh?" I asked testing the water. We'd changed seats and she was driving around the usual estate.

I was amusing to watch her splutter, but my humor shifted to concern as she released the wheel and turned to look at me with wild eyes.

"Erin hold the wheel!" I barked and her auburn hair cascaded around us as she whirled back around in a frenzy. Her slim wrists jerked forwards as she snatched back a firm clutch on the wheel before her .

"Jeeze Erin you can't just get distracted like that" I protested a slit to sharply and backed of as I saw her eyes brim with tears. Erin was always borderline hysterical during are sessions, it had become normality.

"I heard Billy Blacks ill" I noted trying to shift topic as she looped back onto the large estate.

Erin glared at me seeming to decline to comment.

"I thought you might know something about it, seeing how close you are with Jacob and all" I teased further and her knuckles turned white.

"I am not close to Black!" She seethed her stare fierce.

"Rumour has it you are" I noted and she hit the brakes jerking us both to an unexpected halt.

"Rumours. You believe in rumours Brian? Rumour has it I spent my time absent from school in a mental asylum. Rumour has it I was secretly abducted and kept captive in a basement. Rumour has it I am an albino who wear contacts. Rumour has it I am a secret Porn-Star and that's why I pretend to be so frigid. Rumour has it I am actually adopted. Rumour has it my Mother has a an affair with a Doctor from Fork. Rumour has it I am a psychotic nervous wreck." She blew out her eyes wild for a moment as the cars honked behind us.

I watched her reach for the door handle.

"Lessons not over Erin" I protested.

"Rumour has it it is" she snapped releasing the door handle and climbing out of the veichle and I fumbled with the handbrake as the car began to roll.

"Erin!" I called as she began to wonder down the middle of the road. "Where are you going now?" I laughed as I paced after her waving an apologetic hand towards the traffic jam.

"I'm going to tell my brother I am done with this. I am so done" She shouted back to me her eyes watery with tears.

"You don't want to do that" I protested and she stopped sliding slightly on the icy terrain.

"No, your right, I don't want to do that. I want to find Jacob Black" she changed her mind suddenly and I watched her body tense and her overworked mind analyse the idea and all possible outcomes of doing so.

"Why do you want to see Jacob" I questioned in disbelief.

"To prove a point. To put at least one of the rumours to rest" she quipped and I stopped walking and allowed her to flee.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **rissbenzo thank you for the review!**

 **Guest reviewer, thank you for taking the time to point that out.**

 **LovelySakura777 thank you for such a kind review! Aw I'm so glad you are enjoying this story! Yes Jacob was a little cruel to Erin wasn't he. Haha we will have to wait and see! Hmm yes Noah is going to be a little controversial but your have to wait and see about that. We will see Quil and Erin build up their relationship and Quil will do his best to try and pull Jacob back into line. Thanks again for your kind words of support.**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

 _Erin Purser_

School had always been a flurry of gossip, chat and rumours but Sally for the most part helped to keep me sheltered from it. However today with Brian had been like ripping of a bad aid and his words would keep me up at night as I tried to scrutinise their meaning.

My legs strode confidently towards the property I knew Jacob had taken residence in, having move out of the small red house of his Fathers. Noah had cited conflict. Despite the sureness of my step my mind was working double time trying to figure out when a panic attack would rip through my body. The nearer I got to the property on the thirty minute walk the more unsettled I became.

I didn't have any intention really. Perhaps I could call Jacob out on what he had said to Brian. On why people considered us to be close. Or perhaps I would just crumbled in embarrassment. Either way this couldn't have a positive outcome.

The closer I got to Jacob's house the more the nerves kicked in but I was to stubborn to turn back around like any normal person. Instead I paced quicker, building my emotions up as my pulse quickened in rapid beats.

I had grown up around the towering men of La Push, unable to avoid the company that Noah chose to keep. As a result I wasn't threatened by Jacob's size, I was rather threatened by his presence. Which made striding towards the front door of the newly built complex even harder.

Jacob had a tightly knitted circle of friends in La Push and I was reluctantly involved in the little circle. Sharing a best friend didn't help matters. I wondered what Quil would make of all this. I'm pretty sure Sally would be having kittens.

I looked up at the freshly cladded exterior of the housing complex which consisted of two properties and had been built to contend with La Pushes growing population.

My feet seemed like led as I pulled myself up the stair and to the door which seemed as if it may swallow me up. I stared back determined to confront whatever lay behind no matter how daunting that may be.

I shifted uncomfortably trying to build up the courage to ring the doorbell. My hand consciously went to my pocket feeling the supply of diazepan I was prescribed for bouts of server anxiety. Despite my complete denial I had anything wrong Noah made me swear never to go anywhere without them. Diazepan was a last resort due to it's highly addictive nature, the Doctor tried to manage me of daily doses or Serotonin which I refused.

I reminded myself stubbornly that this was no matter to be fearful of. This was Jacob Black and I was here to put him straight. That's exactly what I was going to do.

With those words ringing in my ears I reached up and pressed my finger into the doorbell which chimed musically as I awaited an answer.

My breath was sharp and my chest stung sharply as if a dagger was being forced in further with every breath. I tried to slow my breath flattening a palm over my chest trying to recall the training I had received.

The door began to creek and I leapt back, stumbling over my feet I began to fall backwards. My body jolted towards the steps and I felt my arm being pulled in the opposite direction, so roughly it felt pulled from it's socket.

"Erin" A voice rasped and I suddenly released the breath I had been holding, and Jacob looked down at me concerned and I felt the colour beginning to flood back to my blue face.

Jacob released my arm and I felt dizzy without the support of his hand and it took me seconds to hit the decking.

* * *

My head was pounding and my face felt wet with tears which left a salty taste in my mouth. I could feel heat all around me and I began to panic. My hands pulled at my collar trying to loosen the material as my mind turned dark.

My pulse was rapid and I jerked my arm as I felt burning finger pressing into it and the muffled counting of Jacob.

"Princess I'm glad you've woken up" he mumbled into my hair and I launched myself from the chair separating are bodies as my mind felt as if I'd been hit by a landmine. Colour exploded in my head and I could feel searing marks from where Jacobs hands hand been and I shook in fear at what this could have meant.

"Erin" he warned his tone gentle as I began to back up. My mind was screaming, deafening me and any attempts of calmness Jacob was trying to put on. I looked for an exit, a escape plan, a burst of freedom but tears clouded my eyes and I dropped to my knees a sob raking my body.

"Erin!" He called again more firmly as I watched through blured vision as the Wolf came beside me. His body stooping down to the floor as he knelt before me and I leant away plastering myself against the wall.

"Don't. You. Dare" I warned hiccuping as his hands reached towards me.

"Breathe Erin, breathe it out" he tried to soothe but I shook my head fearsely, cascading my hair about.

"Breathe with me then, please" he requested his voice firm but even and I looked up through my watery lashes trying to comprehend his words.

I flinched as he reached for my hand and he smirked slightly grabbing it and pushing it against his toned chest. I relaxed under his touch, his heart hammered in his body and I blushed as my breath became gaspy.

"See, you bother me to" he assured gently and I curled my hands into his shirt.

I don't know what urged me but I drew Jacob into me, pulling him against my chest. He inhaled against me his breath hitching and he became suddenly rigid. But I clung to him tighter my hands clammy, my breathing erratic and tears pooling on his chest.

"Jake" I breathed feeling are chests connect as I tried to follow his breathing pattern.

I didn't do this.

Erin Purser didn't do this.

It was wrong. Selfish. Sexual. Self-destructive.

I forced myself back from Jacob stumbling as I separated my body from his and my breath fell into a even rhythm.

Jake's eyebrow rose suspiciously as I hunched holding my chest as the relief seemed to flood me in waves, ebbing over me.

"You have serious issues Princess" he snorted rudely stepping closer to be and I flinched back at the increased proximity. He smiled again, it thick and mocking.

"I do not have issues!" I defended hotly my skin red and patchy.

"You have one issues specifically Erin. You, are ..." he began but I cut him of with my shrill shriek of protest.

"Don't you dare!" I seethed the stronger part of my mind overidding my anxiety long enough to shot Black down. "How dare you. Who do think you are, what right do you think you hold over me? You don't know me" I warned.

He smirked lightly as if my words amused him.

"I know you very well Erin. I doubt you'd believe me …" he started again and I scoffed at him and he seemed taken aback by my sudden backbone.

"I came here to tell you to leave me alone Black. To leave me the hell alone. I have had enough. I don't know what your problem is with me. But I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I might bother you, but that, that back their, it was lust, hormones. It was dangerous." I chattered nervously filling the silence I had created.

"Erin, you through yourself at me!" He laughed.

"Not another step" I warned, trying to drown out the feelings his presence were causing.

He cocked a brow his face full of mocking. I gasped as me moved towards me again. I couldn't move, my feet were planted firm, my ears ringing and my chest rising and failing in shallow breaths.

My senses were overwhelmed. The feel of his shirt rubbing against my chest. My breasts pressed up against his solid torso. His warm skin coming into contact with my clammy arms. The goosebumps brushing against his rustet skin.

Physical contact was on my avoid list, and this was exactly why. The feelings caused where unmanageable, dangerous.

The phone began to buzz. A corny ringtone blaring making me visibly recoil in embarrassment.

"You should get that" Jacob beckoned looking strained.

"Right, yes, the phone, I should answer it" I gushed my feet becoming light again as I flapped around for the mobile.

I retrieved the phone and began trying to slide my clammy finger across to unlock it. The touch-screen refused to engage. The phone continued to buzz angrily **Grandma Pat** flashing on the CallerID.

My hand was shaking and my heart thumping. The phone fell silent, the call being diverted to voicemail.

"I have to go!" I gasped whirling around and grabbing for the door handle. It took a few twists to open the knob and leap out onto the hallway.

"Hey Princess, we aren't done here" Jacob protested.

"We are so done" I muttered, taking the steps two at a time as I pounded down the porch space.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **The chapters are getting longer, although I am struggling to fully devote myself to this Fiction while Doing it the Blonde Ways seems to fill my mind every waking hour! (Despite completing the fiction I have been re-writing the final chapters for weeks). However into the new year I will focus myself fully on Hair Pin Curve, so I thank you all for your patience and continued support.**

 **Would LOVE some reviews?**

 **Magena Storm thank you for following and favouriting the story!**

 **Natsumi456 thanks for following Hair Pin Curve**

 **Elizabetch thanks for the favourite! I look forward to getting time to ready you stories!**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

 _Jacob Black_

My feet couldn't stop shifting and I flitted around the apartment trying to retrace her steps. Everywhere felt consumed by her presence and my mind seemed tormented. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to lash out or allow myself to drown in it. Either way I couldn't get Erin Purser out of my head.

I could have ran. Ran for the woods, but running was complicated. Running still involved company and I had no doubt Quil would want all the details on anything concerning his beloved Erin.

That was the problem. Erin wasn't just Erin. We shared friends, are lives were reluctantly intertwined.

We'd grown up with Erin. Quil, Embry and me. I had known her for far to long. She was younger than us of course, but being friends with her brother forced us together. Erin was always irritating, she'd hang around with us, trying to get involved. But she was always to young, so I shoved her away. We all did.

We were mean. Unkind. Rude.

I branded her a Princess. It was cruel really, but the name had forever stuck with her.

Then came a time when things changed. When the Wolf roared it's head and my life changed forever. But worse than that, so did hers.

Quil's certain my rejection tipped her over the edge. No one really knows what happened to her, not that people don't talk. People always talk about Erin Purser, because she's got issues. Either way she dropped of the face of the earth, and not even Noah would talk about her to me. Quil believes that's what happens when you deny an Imprint.

Quil believes I broke Erin.

Broke her in two.

Then Erin re-appeared. She came back and so did I. I moved back to La Push and ever since she's been tormenting my mind. Or perhaps it was the other way around. Either way I couldn't seem to get her from my life.

Erin invaded my every thought.

She was a woman now, an almost adult and it wasn't just the human part of my mind which recognised that. The Wolf roared it's ugly head again. I pinned for her. It was pathetic.

I just needed to control it again. To suppress it and make it go away. But running away to the Cullen's couldn't solve that.

The Elders were always cryptic. But they were insistent my return to La Push was dangerous. For her I mean. It seemed people were only concerned about her fragile state of mind.

I hadn't understood what they meant.

Not until I saw it.

Not until I saw her.

She was a nervous wreck, a bag of emotions spilling out onto the curb. Erin was a mess.

A mess all of my own making.

* * *

I watched Quil spin from the chair for the umpteenth time that evening my stare hostile as he continued to smile gleefully.

I bit back the urge to send him on a patrol. I wasn't Sam, I never could be. I was a different Alpha, nothing like what we had before. I was lenient, reluctant and worse than that my time spent in La Push varied.

"Knock it off" I grunted looking down at the second empty can of beer. The progress I'd made so far would have me through a whole pack by the end of the evening. I needed it. Something had to suppress the dam Wolf.

The Wolf that had every particle in my body wanting to shift and run all the way to the Purser household.

But I had done that before. I'd done it more times than I bared to think about.

I never went through with it though. Sometimes I wouldn't even make it out of the woods, other days I'd just watch her room from the shadows. But it'd always been like this. Since she was a child, since I first phased.

Erin Purser consumed me, and I let her.

"Dude don't buy shinny spinny' chairs if you don't want people to spin" Quil scoffed pushing himself on the breakfast bar to perform another clumsy twist in the seat.

"I didn't buy them" I muttered stooping my head down low.

"No, you've got your Leeches to do that for you" he snapped back more firmly this time stopping himself mid-turn to glare.

"Stop talking shit" I defended trying to shut of the conversation before Quil blustered out the the thoughts of the entire tribe.

"I ain't talking shit Jake and you know it!" He insisted. "Your Dad knows it, I know it, Sam knows it, the whole frigging Tribe knows it … everyone apart from Erin".

I pawed at the can tipping it over in my frustration.

"Billy kicked your sorry ass out because of it. He can see it. We all can, Erin is a mess because of you! Because you have just ignored her all her life and now … well now she is a complete and utter nut-job!" He laughed bitterly.

I lurched forwards, my mind and body felt disconnected as I had Quil pinned to the breakfast bar my mouth pulled back in a snarl as my hand choked the man.

"Don't you dare call her that" I seethed pressing down on his throat once more before relaxing my hand.

"You messed with her head Jake. You made her this way, and you're going to keep her like this when you keep running back to the Cullen's every weekend with your tail between your legs!" Quil snapped.

"You think I wanted this?" I demanded stepping back from him, allowing him to straighten up and rub at his marked neck.

"You think she did?" He laughed again as if he found my logic ridiculous. "No one wants this Jake, no one".

"Im sorry" I muttered bowing my head.

I re-seated myself and opened another can taking half the container in one large swig Quil gave me a hard glare and I stared right back at him challenging him to say it again. Daring him to make a comment.

"I love Erin, you know that don't you. I think she's amazing. She has her … problems. But she's still amazing. I want you to know that. I only said those things about her to get a reaction, to see how you felt" Quil grovelled and I felt a pang of jealousy at how easily her could say he loved her.

I was jealous of their relationship. It was so easy, so trusting, so natural.

With me she was a wreck of nerves.

"How's Claire?" I questioned trying to change the topic and Quil automatically looked strained.

"How is any eight-year old Jake?" He muttered rubbing his face.

"Hey, it could be worse, just wait until she gets into her teens. She will spend five years hating you" I teased remembering how Rachel used to be.

"Wow, thanks for that boost of moral support!" He snapped

"Hey at least you'll know how it feels to have an Imprint hate your guts" I retorted leaning back to look at the ceiling wishing I could be up and running rather than having this conversation.

"Purser doesn't hate you … she's just scared of you. You set her off. When she's around you, you make her panic, that's not hating you" he corrected but the words felt no less reassuring.

"I think I'd rather her hate me" I complained turning to look at Quil's unsympathetic expression.

"No you wouldn't" Quil snapped. "You scare her. So all you need to do is stop her being scared. If you want to get to know Erin properly, if you want to have a shot then you need to help her get over her anxiety" Quil suggested.

"How am I supposed to do that I'm not a shrink" I scoffed.

"No, but you're her Imprint" he shrugged as if it all made perfect sense.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, look on the latest update of Doing it the Blonde Way for a full update as to why it's taken so long for this to be posted!**

 **Thank you for following the story and my profile! I must say you are very lucky to live in such as beautiful part of England, also do check out my other story Doing it The Blonde Way which is a OC fiction.**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you so much for another review! I hope this chapter answered you question about the Imprint. Quil kind of addressed that for you :) This story is going to build to Jacob forcing Erin to confront her problem (Anxiety). Yes I think Erin is very much in two minds about how to handle physical contact. Because of the Imprint she unknowingly holds with Jake she craves his touch, but at the same time those feelings unnerve her because she doesn't understand them. Im so glad you liked the chapter it's felt good to get some action going between them. I took you advice I hope you like it, it'll be something I might drop in occasionally :)**

 **natsumi456 thank you for leaving me a review! I'm glad you enjoyed this more developed chapter. I agree with you and can't wait to let you see how their relationship builds up.**

 **Love the profile picture MunchkinWriter and WOW you have an amazing selection of your own Twilight fictions! Thank you for following Hair Pin Curve.**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

 _Brian Albe_

I honked the horn for the third time looking towards the tightly shut front door. Erin was not in the mood for making an appearance this morning apparently. I gave a final long hoot hoping to prompt some sort of appearance. She wasn't usually tardy, and if ever ill she was always anxious to contact me as soon as possible.

The front door opened and a slender woman appeared. Her body was long, easily as tall as her brother and I recognised Paige's hard features, just like her twin. Unlike Erin her skin was dark, and hair even darker. She was boney and walked with an air of sophistication even as she stepped down the porch in sweat pants.

I wound the window down on the drivers side and she came to stand beside the car, seemingly unbothered by the drop in temperature her arms bare.

"Erin isn't in" she answered my expectant look.

She paused as if trying to decide whether it was necessary to expand.

"Erin isn't in because she's in seeing the Doctor. They want to put her back on some sort of sedative. She had a major breakdown last night. It lasted hours, Noah wanted to take her to the hospital but Gran was totally against it. I mean she thinks it's all just a game thing for Erin, I don't know I kind of think it's real" she shrugged.

"Is she okay?" I asked taken aback by her casual tone.

"Oh sure, I think" she waved her hand dismissively. "They'll just give her a stronger prescription which she will pretend to take to make my Mum and Noah feel better. And she'll just go back to bottling everything up again until it explodes out of her" she chirped.

"Is someone with her?" I probed trying to show some concern for Erin which her sister seemed to lack.

"Yeah. Noah went with her. Mum had to work, Dad's out in Colorado or something" she shrugged dismissively.

"Anyway she'll get over it. She always does. Do you still need to bill her for this lesson or?" She questioned tapping her foot impatiently.

"Uh, no" I answered feeling a little distracted.

"Kay" she grinned and turned back towards the house without further comment.

I predominantly taught the female population of Forks, they made up three quarters of my clientele. The other quarter was a mixture of males and a handful of students from La Push. I came highly recommended and that was I believe how I ended up teaching Erin Purser.

Noah cared for Erin like a Father and he wouldn't trust just anyone with his most beloved possession. He may have been genetically closer to Paige but he loved Erin like his own daughter rather than as a sister. I suppose that's what happened when you parents worked away.

Not only that but Paige was strong, independent, pretty wild from what I'd heard. But Erin, she was fragile. She had a way of making you want to care for her, even is she hated that.

During Erin's lesson I had gotten myself a coffee and enjoyed two cigarettes as I thought about her.

But the time dissipated and soon my mind was refocusing upon my next pupil. Ann was unlike most of my female pupils. She lived in La Push but her father worked out as a Doctor in Forks which meant she sat high on the social rankings. Forks was deemed a desirable place in comparison to the barren landscape of La Push. Ann was weeks away from taking her driving test, and tended to run her mouth for the entire lesson.

Today was no different.

She took her time to adjust the controls in the car to the desired position and began muttering about her classes that day. In half an hour she had rattled through a large portion of the weeks school gossip. From anorexia, school suspensions, a crank fire alarm, the Christmas Ball, dating rumours, and two potential pregnant students as well as a fight in the canteen. She informed me of her growing crush on Brady and how some of the boys were starting to act a little strange. She wound the gossip up with addressing the schools nut job who was off again following a mental breakdown.

I sat tense as she continued clearly delighting in tearing the other girl down.

"First I really knew about it was when my Dad was called out late last night, I heard him tell my Mum he was going to see the Pursers. I thought maybe it was one of the oldies there. They all live together you know, it's really weird. Anyway it wasn't until I got into school this morning that I realised. I saw Sally come in on her own, and I mean normally she always has the freak with her.

But she wasn't there and I was a bit mythed.

I wasn't the only one though, Colin and Brady they went straight over to Sally. I mean normally they like never talk to her. They only ever seem to pay attention to Erin. It's weird she's so uptight she just ignores them but they are always watching her.

So I walked by and I picked up some of the conversation. She wasn't in because she was ill, which is basic code that she had a breakdown. It all makes sense really. She has major issues, she's been like it since she was like ten. It's just weird she is like a nervous wreck. She had a few moments in school but I haven't heard anything about it for ages. She just keeps to herself. She is real stuck up you know.

I think she believes she's better than everyone, because she writes in the newspaper each week and because she was homeschooled for awhile. I don't know she's just strange. Even worse than that though … she's a Vegan.

A vegan Brian? I mean I had to google what it meant when Joanna told me. She doesn't eat anything. It is just bizarre. No wonder she's so fucked up" she finished as she easily navigated the route I had set her.

"And, um, does Erin know what people think of her?" I questioned knotting my fingers.

"That's just it, I swear she does but she just doesn't care. She doesn't care about what people say about her" Anna admitted.

"So you don't think what you say might be a little, cruel. I mean what if someone said those things about you?" I asked trying to keep reasonable.

"But no one would ever say that about me" she giggled. "I'm not a freak" she shrugged seeming gleeful.

* * *

 ** _Brian_ : Hey Erin, I spoke to your sister, she told me what happened. Sorry to hear you aren't well again, I know you must be trying really hard to manage it. Things seem pretty rough for you right now, but I know you just need to keep going with your lessons. Think of University hey, journalism is a hard career and Noah won't be willing to fund your degree is you don't nail this driving stuff.**

 **Just drop me a line when your ready to re-schedule.**

* * *

 **Authors Note: Well that was hopefully a chapter which helped you build a better picture of Erin, and the interest Brady and Colin have in her! Please leave me a review! Your in for a treat with the next chapter with some Erin and Jacob time!**

 **Daniethornhill thank you for following the story!**

 **clo123456 thanks for the follow I look forward to finding the time to check out your Twilight stories.**

 **Brookeworm3 thanks for the review! Well I'm glad you can relate to the character. Yes I think it was hard for Jake but even harder for Erin. Yes she was definitely a bit of an unwanted friend in the group as far as Jacob was initially concerned.** **Yes the story is sort of picking up where Breaking Dawn left off so the Cullen's are still a big part in Jacob's life. That's the plan I don't think it will be easy but I think they can work it out :) after all they are meant to be together in the grand scheme of things.**

 **I'm glad you enjoyed it and yes I am slowly filling in some of the background information. Thank you again!**

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	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

Erin Purser

"You need to text Brian back Erin, seriously I'm not kidding around now!" Noah shouted to me through my bedroom door and I turned to volume up on the docking station trying to drown him out.

I rolled onto my chest sinking my face further into the pillow and ignoring his demands. I'd been staring at the message for the past week and had been reluctant to reply to his question. But Noah had been bugging me about it since yesterday and I was still as unwilling to respond.

"Erin you need to get some clothes, on your going back to school. Hurry up I have a car that needs servicing" he quipped launching a pair of jeans towards me from my wardrobe.

I groaned into the pillows unwilling to move from the safe sanctuary of my bedroom where the cruel world outside could be shut off.

"I am not kidding around Erin. I want you dressed and down stairs in ten minutes. You are going back. You've had enough wallowing in self pity. You either go to college or you come to work with me" he warned and when I refused to answer he decided for me.

"Fine, fine. You'll come to work with me then. But on Monday your going back. I swear Erin, you need to get out of the house. When was the last time you breathed fresh air!" He accused and I turned to stare at him.

"I don't want to go to the garage" I groaned my throat dry.

"Tough" he shrugged and slammed the door on me.

It truly wasn't fair. My sister spent her time successfully avoiding any need for a job, lounging in front of the television with are Grandparents where as me having a week off was deemed unacceptable.

I may have disliked Noah's decision but I respected him enough to go along with it. I hung the jeans back up he'd thrown at me and began to make my bed. Pulling the sheets taught and stacking the pillows in the correct pattern. I pulled a brush through my hair unable to tame the bed hair which was like a mane. I flicked through the wardrobe until I found the fluffiest sweater I owned and paired in with a pair of cuffed sweatpants. If if knew anything about that garage, it was that it was freezing. It took me a few more minutes of flapping to locate a book and be off down the stairs.

Noah was waiting expectantly at the doorway looking at my outfit questioningly.

"We are walking, Erin" he noted looking suspiciously at the fluffy pink sweater.

"So?" I muttered putting one of his fleeces from the coat stand and a oversized scarf of Paige's which was the size of a picnic blanket.

He shook his head as if he couldn't form the words and I jammed my feet into some trainers.

Noah knew I disliked moving vehicle , and I seemed to be even more uncomfortable when others where driving them. At least when I was in the driving seat I had some control. Plus Noah liked going fast, really fast. I'd take the walk any day.

The air was cold, but it always felt like that in La Push, winter seemed to stretch on forever. I took a deep breath allowing the cool air to fill my lungs and wake me as we stepped out.

"Have you taken your medication?" Noah broke into my thoughts as he slowed to allow me to catch him up, his pace unbearably quick.

"Of course" I lied and he looked at me dubiously.

"Right, well you just need to stay out of the way today okay. No funny business. And no flapping about stuff here. I haven't got time for you … if you start feeling angsty then just pop a pill okay" he demanded gruffly and I looked at him with disgust.

"Sure" I agreed submissively and the conversation was ended as Noah strode ahead along the pavement and I didn't attempt to catch up with his this time.

* * *

 **Sally: Erin I spoke to Noah, he told me about it all. Your Mum saw my Mum and she reckons you will be back soon. I hope so. Because Brady and Colin keep asking about you. I was blunt on your behalf, although I couldn't quite be as cold as you! Anyhow they said they're asking for Quil. So they're you go xoxo**

 **Erin: Thanks for that, great just great. I may as well just publish an article in the paper about it and be done with it.**

 **Sally: Hey that's a good idea! You could inspire people to deal with their anxiety. Promote people's knowledge xoxo**

 **Erin: I was being sarcastic …**

 **Sally: Oh x Wanna go out for some ice-cream tonight? xoxo**

 **Erin: I don't eat ice-cream. Do I want to go out and watch you eat ice-cream, sure why not.**

 **Sally: Are you being sarcastic again?xoxo**

 **Erin: Pick me up from the garage.**

* * *

I had changed the radio station six times and Noah was beginning to scowl at me, every time he came into my line of vision his face was hard and I felt a nervous pang.

The garage was colder than usual even though he kept the shutter half closed. I hated the smell in here, it made my head pulse as I analysed all the risk factors associated with this building.

"What would happen, if that winch just broke you know, and you just got … squashed?" I questioned looking at the car with a wary stare.

"If I got squashed Erin then you wouldn't be going to University would you?" He snapped pulling himself out from under the vehicle to glare at me.

"Right" I agreed. "Maybe you should you know, not go back under there?" I suggested trying to sound casual.

He laughed at me and ducked back under and I puffed in frustration.

I stretched out on the worn sofa which springs dug unpleasantly into my back. The radio was humming in the background and my eyes felt heavy.

Sleep was pulling at me but I knew from experience not to fall asleep here. The sofa was painfully old, and lying on it for to long left you crippled in pain. Not to mention you were left in full view of anyone who walked into the place.

No, my preferred spot was shoved in the darkest part of the garage, long abandoned to any inhabitant and made it ideal for napping. I pulled a thick blanket with me from the sofa and slid away from Noah's presence.

The garage was only really used to half its capacity because it was littered with Noah's and Jacob's projects. None of which had ever amounted to anything. It also meant it was littered with obstacles and I kept my eyes wide as I dodged tools and dismantled engines.

My head pounded from stress as I weighed up the risk of sleeping in the car. Although it was a secluded part of the garage I had an innate fear of being forgotten about. I'd been locked in once, by mistake and the garage seemed to be inhabited by rats at night. It may have only been for ten minutes, before Noah realised and shot back for me. But at fourteen it was the scariest ten minutes of my life.

My phone buzzed again in my back pocket and my eyes bolted down to the screen flashing brightly.

 **Brian: Erin I know your ignoring me. Noah has booked you in for a lesson next week. I will see you then, don't bail on me this time, and no more breakdowns in the mean time please!**

I shuddered as I read the text frowning at his joking nature. How could someone so easily make light of such a dark situation.

I through the phone into the front seat of the car I always slept in. It had been here a long time, and I didn't quite understand what they boys were intending to do with it. To me it looked like it had no real potential. It wasn't a classic, it was just a car.

Spreading the blanket out along the backseats I clambered between the gap of the front to seat and curled myself up in the back my head resting against the familiar smell. I didn't know much about cars, Noah teased I didn't know much about anything really. But I knew this one had a name, I'd take a photograph of it to ask Quil about it.

He told me it was a VW Rabbit , and seemed somewhat smug. I always slept in it when I was in the garage. It was the only place in the building that felt safe. It was the only space that calmed me enough to stay put. I looked at the time willing the hands of the clock to move that little bit quicker. After all I couldn't sleep the entire day away, no matter how much I may have wanted to.

* * *

I bolted up banging my head on the car roof and feeling my breath hitch in, a panicked shaky breaths as I heard the fist continuing to bang on the window.

My eyes met the challenge Jacob back presented. He looked angry, really angry.

I pulled the blanket protectively around me, a slight glow coming from the garage lights which were centred in the middle of the room which cast shadows around us. It was almost every in here.

"Purser, get out of my car" he grunted gesturing for me to move.

"I'm sleeping" I grunted my mind still groggy as I tried to register the conversation.

"Seriously Purser, get out" Jacob barked his voice stern as if I'd hit a nerve.

I widened my eyes, I felt as if I'd been slapped. My mind was trying to splutter a response but no words came out and I looked around the dark space feeling the walls of the car beginning to entrap me.

My hands pulled me through the gap between the front seats and Jacob's hand steadied me as I spilled from the car an entanglement of limbs.

"I didn't know it was your car. I assumed it was Noah's. It just sits here, it never moves. I didn't mean to upset you" I stumbled through my apology clutching up the blanket which had begun to drag along the floor.

"You should go" he addressed coldly his eyes harsh and I felt as if I may snap under his glare.

"I'm sorry I upset you" I mumbled and he looked for a moment as if he was going to say something. But the instance passed and we stood in silence in the dark garage.

I began to move away from Jacob, I stepped along on weary feet and produced an involuntary yawn arching my back. The sound filled the space and my eyes felt heavy still.

"Purser, wait" Jacob called after me and I paused as his feet hit the ground heavy and barefooted.

"I'm sorry" he admitted looking at me with those dark eyes, he seemed lost. "It's just. Well Billy's been in hospital and …" he broke of with a shrug.

"You have coffee here right?" I asked and he looked at me as if I was perplexing.

"Let's have a drink" I suggested taking a nervous breath as I reached out to touch him. My hand shook as I rested my hand in his and pulled gently.

My legs felt like jelly and my heart hammered against my chest waiting for a rejection which would tip me over the edge. But to my surprise Jacob laced his fingers through mine and we walked back into the light, towards the uncomfortable sofa.

* * *

I kept a safe distance from Jacob as we sat on opposite ends of the sofa. I was careful, keeping my eyes down and my voice gentle. My confidence had dissolved into a puddle of uncertainty and I couldn't meet his glare.

I struggled to remind myself that this was normal. That I talked like this with Quil all the time. But every time I caught Jacob staring I knew that this was nothing like it was when Quil spoke to me.

"Jake?" I asked looking down into my coffee cup which was steaming in my face. "Why don't you live with your Dad, your still young. You haven't lived in La Push for a while" I questioned.

"I left, a long time ago. And when I came back, I tried to stay with Billy. But he didn't agree with what I had done, what I was doing. So he kicked me out. I got another place" he shrugged.

"I'd like to live somewhere else" I decided stretching out slightly on the sofa. "I'd like to live some place quiet, calm you know? It's always so cramped, so busy in my house. I feel like sometimes my head might just explode from all the noise. There's so much judgment there" I explained wringing my hands.

"Don't you go anywhere, to escape I mean?" He asked.

"I don't like being outside. I know it sounds weird. But it can be daunting you know, being outside, alone. I tend to avoid the woods, and the coast line. Sometimes I sit in the library, or go to a café. But most of the time, I just end up stuck where I am. I may hate my house but I feel safe there. Being in other places, I feel vulnerable" I explained picking at the pink pullover.

"Do you feel vulnerable now?" He asked his voice dark.

"I feel exposed. But then that's because I'm telling you stuff I don't ever tell anyone, not even Sally or Quil. I don't know why I'm doing that …" I broke of looking down into the dark liquid of the black coffee that I wouldn't drink.

"Maybe you just like talking to me" he suggested with a grin.

"Maybe" I mused and pretended to take a sip of the warm drink.

"It's nice living alone, but you know it's not all its cracked up to be. It gets lonely. Being in a house all on your own" he shrugged.

"Do you get lonely" I stated more than asked and he looked a little sheepish.

"I used to, once. But not anymore … I have the Pack, I mean I have my friends. You know; Quil, Embry, Seth, Jared … they keep me company. I see Noah a lot to" he added thoughtfully.

"I don't think it's about having people around you. My life is bustling with people. But sometimes I feel so isolated. So alone. Its like no one understands me, no one understands how it feels … these emotions" I complained feeling dejected.

"Maybe it's because you don't want people to understand Erin. Maybe it's because you wont admit there is something they need to understand. Your not like other girls, your different" he admitted.

"I don't mind being different" I quipped defensively.

"But people don't always get different. Your anxiety makes you different" Jacob said softly as if waiting for my defence.

"I don't have anxiety" I disagreed with another yawn. "I am just highly-strung, highly-attuned, but I am not … anxious" I disagreed setting the mug down onto the concrete floor.

"Your friend dropped in, you know Sally, about an hour ago. She seemed to think you'd be here. I told her you weren't. I went to lock up but it got me thinking …" he broke of and I nodded in understanding of how he'd found me.

"I'm so tiered" I complained again stretching out like a cat on the sofa and Jacob looked at me his eyes lidded and full of darkness.

"Go to sleep then" he chuckled.

"No. There's rats here at night" I admitted stubbornly pushing myself up. "I should go home" I decided the sensible part of my mind alerting me of how dangerous it would be to fall asleep in the company of Jacob Black,.

"I could keep them away" he suggested.

"I wouldn't get much sleep knowing you're here" I confessed and Jacob looked taken aback, I couldn't decide if he was hurt, or surprised. "Although you can walk me home" I decided standing upright.

"It's dark" I muttered lowly. "I have … I dislike the dark" I phrased the sentence carefully in explanation.

"Your scared of the dark" he smiled and shook his head as if it shouldn't surprise him.

"I dislike it" I corrected my voice sharp as I led us from the garage, I tried to sound confident and in control, but I didn't pull back when Jacob took my hand as we stepped out into the night.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Well hello readers, I've given you what you all wanted some more Jacob and Erin time! Is Erin right to be wary of Jacob still? Do you think she's just going to get herself hurt?**

 **Next chapter we seen Brian devise a plan to try and help improve Erin's confidence in driving.**

 **Please check out DOING IT THE BLONDE WAY which has just been updated!**

 **Love hearing your thoughts so please leave me a review!**

 **Brookeworm3 thanks for the review! Yeah I think lots of people have had situations like that, it's horrible. Good for you for leaving it behind you! I haven't written Bella into the mix yet although she is definitely on the cards somewhere, after all if Jacob does decide to show Erin his life and the real truth, he will have to explain where he is disappearing of to almost every weekend. I like your ideas they are something I will be considering. I am certainly hoping that Jake is going to be able to help Erin out with her list of fears :) Hope you enjoyed the update.**

 **JessicaxGriffel thank you for following and favouriting the story, you live in a beautiful country! I like the look of your Twilight and Harry Potter stories (I love Roaslie). And thank you so much for following my profile, i hope you've found Doing it the Blonde Way!**

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	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

 _Brian Albe_

Erin took the steps quickly and I looked suspiciously at her. She seemed unnervingly at ease, or perhaps that's what she wanted me to think. I puffed on the cigarette looking at her in challenge.

She'd been out of the driving seat for a while now and it wouldn't be easy for her to get back in the car.

But there was something about her which seemed to have changed. Maybe it was the way she held herself, perhaps she'd changed her hairstyle. I couldn't work it out, but somehow Erin Purser looked more alive than usual, as if someone had started to restore a spark back into her. I couldn't be the only one to notice.

She always looked so pained, so lost and helpless. But today she looked a little less so. Her muscles were still tight with stress, her eyes still ringed with dark circles but she seemed less burdened.

Perhaps she was on new medication.

"Good morning" I greeted taking another drag of the cigarette resisting the urge to stamp it out. It was a bad habit but pupils like Erin made it necessary.

"Hello" she greeted her voice gentle with the usual weakness.

"Ready for this Purser. Don't worry I'll go easy on you" I teased and her back tensed and she seemed to loose the burst of life I had noted in her moments ago.

"Can I have some?" she asked and I stared blankly at her.

"Can I have some, of your cigarette, please" she gestured towards the thing between my fingers and I felt the ash burn my finger tips and I held it to long stunned by her words.

This was clean living Erin. This was Erin who shunned coffee, who made me feel my habit was filthy, who wouldn't even take a Calms tablet out of fear she may develop some sort of addiction.

"You want a drag?" I asked the laughter creeping into my tone.

"Yes. It seems to work for you Brian. I want to try. I need something to get me into the car. Otherwise I think I might just collapse onto the floor" she muttered.

"Your nervous" I smiled looking at how well she was hiding her sheer terror. It was sad in a way that it had become so normal, she didn't even process the fact that these feelings were wrong. That she could disguise them from her appearance.

"I don't think Noah would be thanking me for getting you hooked on nicotine" I reminded her and she paled slightly.

"Please, could I at least have one of those calms or something?" She questioned weakly and I noticed the desperation in her voice.

"Erin, are you sure your up to this?" I asked and she gestured towards the cigarette again.

"One drag Brian, seriously, then I'll do this. Please." She pleaded and I looked helplessly at her.

"No way" I laughed dropping the cigarette to the ground and grinding my shoe into it, stubbing it out on the curb.

"Brian it must work for you, it keeps you sane" she prompted looking hurt.

"Erin, you won't touch anything fried, you run loops around La Push and shop at Whole Foods. I really don't think you want to smoke" I chuckled looking at her as if she was delirious.

"I'm old enough to make my own decision" she quipped her voice as tense as her posture, her exterior beginning to crumble.

"Im sure you are" I agreed trying to sound sincere but her widening eyes had me shifting uncomfortable with her apparent lack of compromise.

"You can hold one, if it makes you feel better, between your teeth but I won't light it" I tried, aiming to be diplomatic but she shook her head firmly.

"Brian my head is about to explode from the amount of thoughts circling it right now. I have been trying, trying so hard to keep calm but all I feel like doing is screaming. Wailing until I cant say any more" she complained.

I looked at her sheepishly.

Her head was held high with dignity despite the weakness of her confession and I considered what to do about this enigma of a woman.

My hand slipped for the packet in my pocket and I withdrew it carefully obscuring the print on the front from her sight.

"These Erin, are not the answer" I smiled tightly and shoved them back in my pocket turning towards the car and she passed a fleeting smile. I realized perhaps it had all be some sort of mental test, perhaps it was her figuring out what it would take to break me. "Come on Purser, the clocks ticking and your moneys dwindling" I mocked encouraging her into the drivers side.

"Can we talk about you" she asked as she pulled the seat belt across her chest clicking it in place.

"Chucks. There was me thinking you might actually want to talk about you for a change" I teased but her face remained closed off.

"Where did you go to school?" She enquired her first question of many, all intended to prevent her from giving anything away about herself. It was her defense system.

* * *

Erin pulled to a halt, the car jerked as she slammed the brakes on a little harder than necessary. Her legs trembled and it looked as if she'd need peeling from her seat. Her hands clenched into fists the moment she released the steering wheel and for a moment I was lost in the sight of her.

But before I could dwell further she was out of the car and striding up the drive muttering a thanks and diving towards the front door. I had once been offended by this behavior but now I understood it. Erin would lock herself in her room, and she'd breathe. She'd breathe a breath of relief and her body would slowly calm itself.

Noah passed her on the porch and caught her arm trying to stop her but she jerked from his grasp her mouth twisting with some sort of rejection. I felt the cigarette packet in my back pocket, my fingers eager to remove them and light one up.

But I had business to deal with.

Noah was striding down the path, his body language so relaxed it made me wonder where Erin's anxiety came from.

We greeted each other with a firm hand clasp and the grease from Noah passed onto my own much paler palms.

"Alright" he nodded and I pulled out the packet unable to resist.

"Don't mind do you?" I asked but I'd already pulled a stick out and was about to light it, if Noah did he had little chance to object.

"How's Erin?" He asked his voice crisp.

"How is Erin?" I repeated back wittily and he shrugged.

"Stable. Better than she was. I dunno what freaked her out but something knocked her. Anyway she's fine now" he rushed to defend her, the word fine stressed in his tone.

"She's better with me to. I mean better than she was but the anxiety it just stops everything. I think she needs extra tuition" I suggested and Noah's face seemed to darken.

"You want more money? You want me to extend her weekly tuition?" He asked quickly his hostility apparent.

"No. I don't want to tutor her anymore than is necessary. I think, well I think she'd benefit from some home tuition. I can do the finer details, but what she needs is time. Erin needs someone to build up her confidence in the car. With me she just associates criticism, she needs someone impartial. And no Noah, that someone cannot be you" I smiled as I spoke trying to keep the situation calm but still Noah looked troubled.

"That'll get her to pass?" He questioned.

"It'll make her feel better" I shrugged. "I fight each week to get her in a car. Maybe if we could get past that point then we can begin to look into the idea of passing tests" I shrugged.

"If you think it'll work, then I guess its worth a shot" Noah decided and I tried to smile reassuringly. Although I wasn't quite convinced myself. But we were running out of options for Erin.

* * *

 **Authors Note: I hope you enjoyed the update guys! Please leave me a review to let me know what you think! Hit follow so you can catch the next update where we see how Erin reacts to Jacob joining the family for Sunday Dinner!**

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**

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	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

 _Erin Purser_

The alarm clock on the bedroom side table beeped once as we hit midnight and I slammed shut the screen of the laptop in frustration. It had been handed down to me from Paige and was adorned with stickers over the front screen, it made me feel like I was ten. Not to mention it crashed almost weekly losing all my work.

Regardless it was all I had and I was grateful for that. It meant I could work on my latest column for the paper. Something I'd been doing for years, it helped keep me sane. I was documenting the merits of turmeric for healing but my mind felt fuzzy and my pulse seemed quicker than usual.

My body seemed eager to shake itself off and I lay back on the pillows of the bed for a minute contemplating this.

I lived in a pokey room. It was the smallest in the house but that came with being the youngest. I'd squashed a bed in that filled most of the room and it was adorned with throws and scatter cushions that Sebastian enjoyed plucking at. I still managed to find the space for a wardrobe but even Noah struggled to get around the space. I found it rewarding to be able to jump from my bed to the doorway. It also made it pretty safe, there wasn't many spaces for murders to hide in wait.

The heat began to climb up my skin and I knew I had to get out. I pulled of my sweater replacing it with a lycra set I'd brought in the sales. I slipped on the trainers and moved from the silent house.

I hooked up my music and and began to run. No one knew of my secret. Or if they did they never said.

Some nights when my mind would suppress me, when my thoughts would engulf me I'd try to run them out. Running tiered me enough to sleep. It wore me down.

I hit the pavement in a brutal speed which I couldn't keep up but I pushed on. My cheeks were wet from tears and my chest heaved but I felt free. I felt free.

* * *

I padded down the stairs my mind still foggy with sleep. I palmed at the walls trying to slow my decent as I heard a bustling of voices. The smell of cooking meat hit me at the bottom step and I subconsciously began to gag. The bustle of sound came from the dinning room and I struggled to identify the voices which seemed to blur together.

The dinning room was a social hub for the house and was always filled for Sunday tradition. This Sunday was no different. I turned around for a moment considering climbing back up the stairs but the voices grew in volume and I moved forwards.

"You need to get yourself a job Paige. It's not like how it used to be. You cant just wait on a man to come and find you. Your going to have to set yourself up in life, earn some of your own money" Grandmother scorned and my eyes widened expecting Paige's brutal response.

"Fuck off" she chuckled. There it came.

My Grandmother barked a laugh and I heard the clinking of wine glasses.

I moved towards the ajar door and easily slipped my frame around the small gap without alerting the room to my entrance. My eyes widened at the sea of faces fitted around the table on mismatched chairs.

"Erin how nice of your to join us!" My Mother snapped coming to stand in the archway which led onto the galley kitchen. Sunday Dinner was after all compulsory.

"You sleep like the dead" Noah complained from the table and I jerked my head towards him my eyes still filled with sleep.

I was about to correct Noah when I saw exactly whom he was sandwiched between. Grandfather was to his left and on his right, was … Jacob Black. Both of whom were laughing at my expense.

My arms crossed over my chest protectively as I backed up on myself turning to the kitchen.

"Mother!" I screeched the redness already beginning to climb up my skin. "You could have told me we were entertaining. I would have at least put a bra on!" I hissed shifting uncomfortably.

"Why? Their so small you don't need anything to keep them up" Paige teased and turned towards Jacob. "You see that's what happen when you go Veggie' everything shrinks. I mean she's a skeleton" she mocked pushing out her volumptious chest.

Mother scoffed at her comment but didn't correct her, instead she continued to attack me. "Well maybe if you got up at a humane hour Erin, rather than at midday. I would have been able to inform you" she quipped flipping the towel about dramatically.

"The birds still roasting Erin. Get your butt upstairs and you'll be able to get dressed before we eat" Noah soothed his voice strong above the idle chat.

"What butt?" Paige mocked again the wine sloshing in her glass as she stood. I looked back to Jacob, his stare was dark and had the blood draining from my head.

"Move!" My sister barked giving me a firm slap on the ass.

I leapt away from her touch my face flushed and eyes watering.

"Paige don't do that to her, you know how she is" Grandmother scolded and I looked from her to Paige.

"What do you mean how she is?" I demanded jumping on the words.

"Don't sass your Grandmother" my Mother barked from the kitchen.

"Frigid. Honey your frigid" my Grandmother snipped.

My fingers began to tingle, as my hands turned numb.

"Look you've set her off now!" Noah insisted his eyes watching me as he scowled.

My eyes stung with hot tears and I felt stripped bare to the room. They were all laughing at me secretly. I could just tell they all agreed, they all thought I was really. I had lost control on this social situation and my emotions began to pile up until I blew out.

I couldn't get out of the room quick enough my nails scrapping against the wall as I hauled myself out of the space my breaths chocked as I rushed up the stairs and stowed myself into my bedroom, the only place I could be safe.

I wailed. I wailed in painful screams of pain as my mind tormented itself. I curled up into a ball on the carpet floor with Sebastian padding around me unsettled by the sounds. But I couldn't stop my voice was hitch pitched cries and my nails dug into my flesh as I convulsed struggling to breath and the terror ripped through me.

The carpet was itchy under my skin and I could feel my body tense and cramped as the last few shaky breaths began to even out.

Taking a further minute to gather myself I lay on the floor wondering how it had gotten to this point.

A creak of the floorboard bolted me up my hands curled defensively ready to confront the attacker. I dropped them to my side flexing them as my heart began to thump.

He lurked in the doorway his expression frustratingly blank.

I curled my lip in annoyance ready to launch into a rant about how he was no better than the rest of them but I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me reject him like that.

"Just cover your eyes or something" I muttered diving towards the clothes piled up. I scanned the room nervously looking for anything else unpleasant as I stuffed my underwear behind the dresser.

I turned back sharply to see Jacob's eyes following me around the room.

"Stop that, that look" I warned frowning again.

"You wonder why you get the nickname" he teased stepping over the threshold.

My heart seemed to pound more rapidly and I tensed edging myself back until I hit the bed frame.

"Are you following me?" I accused.

He laughed for a second before turning serious. "Annoying isn't it? Having someone tagging along with you hey Princess" he mocked his words stabbing at me.

"We were just kids then" I scowled wishing the bed wasn't blocking the distance I could put between us.

A moment of silence lapsed between us and I could hear his rhythmic breathing which clashed against my own staggered breaths.

"I'm surprised you own those" he pointed towards the bra I'd missed on the bed frame and I gasped. My hands shook as I reached for it shoving it behind my back.

"They aren't that small" I defended and couldn't help but smile. He was trying to put me at ease and it was working. Dam he was good.

"I cant believe I'm even discussing the size of my breasts with you" I laughed nervously shaking my head in disbelief. I flopped down onto the bed spread looking up at the cracked ceiling.

I felt the weight of Jacob as he came to sit beside me a moment later but he didn't spread himself out like I had.

Sebastian was purring from the corner and I pulled him towards me dumping him onto my chest.

"Have you calmed down now?" He asked and I felt him slowly lay himself beside me, his body cautious of my potential reaction.

"I, I … well yes" I spluttered unable to tell Jacob that he made me feel calm. That in some strange way he made me feel myself.

"That list of fears you have. That list of things you avoid. Do you ever just want to go out and confront it. To tackle them?" He asked his voice husky.

Did I ever just want to go out and have sex with someone? No, not really. Not with just anybody anyhow.

"There's a reasons there's a list" I scoffed and Sebastian purred in agreement.

"But yet here you are, with me" he noted. "Lying on a bed with me" he added further and a blush emerged on my skin.

I hummed an agreement and tried to consider what this meant for my list.

"If I was to do this" he explained as he rolled over moving over my body to cage me in his arms as he leant above me. "Does this screw up your list?" He asked his eyes wide and wild.

My throat felt tight and I couldn't find the words to respond.

He rolled off me with a grin and I lay there still dazed. The smell of him burnt my nostril and my body ached to climb right back on him.

"You are … an exception to the list Black. I haven't worked out how that is but you are" I decided my voice calmer than I expected.

"So I don't scare you?" He smiled in achievement.

"I never said that" I corrected. "You bother me, a lot" I muttered feeling my skin burning up as his stare raked over me.

"Do all boys bother you?" He questioned.

"Your not a boy" I husked my throat feeling as if it may close up.

"Well do men scare you?" He questioned.

"I feel threatened by them. I'm weary of any advances. I avoid eye contact, touch, anything which could be mistaken as an indication of permission to advance" I muttered.

"You're not like that with me" he noted. "Not all the time" he added as I blushed and hid my face in my hands.

"Its not all men. I don't do it with Noah. Or Quil, I know I can trust Quil" I explained.

"But me?" He asked.

"Like I said I haven't worked you out yet" I shrugged.

"When you do, let me know" he said still smiling.

"I could get better. You know, I could become better around you I just need … practice" I admitted hopefully unwilling to reject Jacob. "Maybe you could help me" I added thinking of Sally's belief I would be a spinster.

"You want me to train you up so you can have a relationship with someone?" He asked his voice tense.

"No. I want to … I want to get to know you, better. I want to um, I want to be around you Jacob, I like you. And I want to um, well I don't know. I want to cross you of my avoid list" I gushed feeling so embarrassed I could combust with the heat that flooded my veins.

Jacob moved his face towards me, his pace teasingly slow and my breath hitched, my skin beginning to crawl with nerves. What if I was bad at it, what if I couldn't do it. What if …

I jerked back shaking my head.

"No. I was wrong. You should go. Now, please" I requested pointing towards the door and looking for my running shoes.

"Erin, please"he pleaded but I shook my head feeling the restriction already creeping into my chest. What did this man do to me?

I was a mess.

"Just leave, Jacob" I repeated waving towards the door frame wanting to scratch the skin from my throat as I struggled to even out my breaths.

"I'll run with you" he suggested following my gaze towards the beat up trainers but I shook my head fiercely. Running was my time, it was my only way of escaping.

"That's not a good idea" I shrugged. "I don't wear a sports bra, it'd be indecent for you to watch" I joked trying to sound casual but my heart was pounding at a unnatural speed and I feared it would begin palpating.

"Okay, well I guess I'll go back down for the roast" he conceded.

"You do that" I agreed nodding vigorously.

"If you change your mind Princess, I'll be around" he added on his way to the door and I wanted to hurl a cushion after him but instead I squashed a protesting Sebastian into me breathing in his scent.

* * *

 **Authors Note:I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

 **Well Doing it the Blonde Way has been updated so don't forget to check out the story!**

 **Also can I just thank you all for your continued support and reviews, I love hearing what you think.**

 **TheREALladyofthewest, well it's taken me a while to think of how to reply to your review! I have always wanted my stories to mean something, and for me facing my own battle with invisible conditions this is naturally something I draw from. I am so happy that this story has found you and you've been able to read it. I am so glad you find the descriptions accurate! I have always wanted relatable characters and have been fed up of so many perfect characters – even in published stories!**

 **I would love for you to look at my other story which is called Doing it the Blonde Way and is another Twilight fiction inspired by invisible illness. Imogenes story reflects my only journey with Fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety. Her story is something I'd love for you to take a look at since you like Erin so much.**

 **That is so, so kind of you to say about my writing! I have had people critique my characters for their flaws but I think people like us get it because we understand what it's like to be different! Thank you so much!**

 **P.S thank you for the favorite :)**

 **Brookeworm3 thanks for the review! Agreed, I think Jake definitely loves winding her up a little bit and ofcourse Erin was just mortified! Her freaking out only seems to escalate and she never ever managed to sit down bless her. But they're making progress, baby steps!**

 **I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **Gracey Lily thanks for the story favourite!**

 **LovelySakura777 thanks so, so much for favouriting my profile!**

 **Lauren6498 thank you for the follow, look forward to have a glance through your stories.**

 **Blueswierd thank you for the follow.**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

 _Brian Albe_

As I pulled up outside the house I couldn't help but notice the car which was dumped on the lawn. I noticed the Vauxwagon Rabbit and felt my breath momentarily catch. Stood beside it looked a very animated Purser and tense Jacob Black.

I remained politely in my car as she continued to scream, the tears hot on her cheeks and her body shaking as she struggled to fight the nerves that threatened to engulf her. Jacob however was placid, and unresponsive to Erin's hysteria.

I felt my own heart rate increase just watching the reckless shake in her body and her choking breaths. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, the neighbors were watching and she was breaking out in hives.

Despite it all Jacob seemed cool and confident.

Stupidity had me remain in the car, when I should have gone to her. But the words of the previous student sat with me. Erin had issues, and perhaps I needs to let her work them out for herself.

Jacob through what appeared to be a set of keys to Erin who let them fall onto the ground in front of her. She scrambled to reach them and thrust them towards him as if they were something toxic. I watched her bounce them in her hands like a hot potato until finally when Jacob's refusal became to much she stretched her arm back and jolted forwards. Her boney fingers released the keys and I winced as they soared through the air, her strength surprising us all.

Her hand dropped to her side and her mouth sagged a little as if she'd surprised even herself. I waited for her to faint but she turned an even darker stage of red and I watched her clawing at her skin as if it was uncomfortable to be in her own body.

Jacob's stare turned suddenly fierce and he cursed at her, in words so foul it made even me cringe slightly. The rest was lost in Quiluete tongue but his gestures seemed to give the gist of what the native language meant about Erin. She stood frozen in place as he cursed her out as if she was still contemplating the bout of rage which had overcome her body. She began to ball them. These were worse tears than before. These were painful, chocked sobs full of sorrow and suffering.

Even Jacob seemed taken aback as she sobbed like a baby her tears seemingly endless and I waited nervously for her to pull herself back together. But it seemed this may not be achievable.

Jacob jerked her towards him as she thought against him. His face was soft and relenting as he tried to paw away her flooding tears.

Then all hell broke lose.

Quil appeared for somewhere and voices began belting over the lawn as he lunged towards Jacob and Noah sprinted down the porch steps like it was the Olympics. Jacob stood firmly in place as Quil sent his fist straight into his nose and Erin screamed as it snapped and blood began to spray. Noah jerked her back roughly pushing her towards the car as she beat against his chest in protest.

Quil was taking another knock at his pal and I leant forward in the chair to try and catch a better look when Purser was shoved into the drivers seat and Noah slammed the door on her, sealing her fate.

"Now can I just say, you so need to try out for the Baseball team, you've got a wicked spin on you" I teased and she grunted forcing the car into gear.

"Don't take it out on the car Purser" I scolded stroking the dash as her face twitched in annoyance.

I nudged the tissue box in her direction and she defeatedly pulled out a white sheet patting down her face before taking a long blow.

"You know. You and your boyfriends are going to be the talk of the Village. What are they fighting over you now" I teased and she stared wide eyed at the road ahead and I thought perhaps my teasing had gone to far.

"They are not my boyfriends" she hissed her words pronounced clearly.

"Well whatever they are, they clearly have some pretty strong emotions regarding you" I laughed and she gnawed at her lip.

"Everyone thinks I need saving. It's so overdone" she complained and I looked over in surprise at the revelation but her face sealed back over to its blotchy unreadable expression.

"Have you ever considered, that people want to save you because they love you?" I asked.

"Do you want to save me?" She demanded hotly clearly flustered but the amount I was talking this session.

"No. But that's because I try to stay detached from my pupils" I lied and she seemed to believe me. I wanted to save Erin, I had wanted to save her from herself the moment I'd met her.

"Jacob however. Now that is a guy who really wants to save you. The car. His affect on you. That is a guy in love with a girl" I explained knowingly but the revelation made her tense up and her nails dug in to the wheel.

"I don't want saving, and I don't want loving. Not by some boy, not a boy like that" she accused her skin flaming.

"He's not exactly a boy" I laughed and she tensed further in the seat beside me.

"So he got you a car … not a romantic gesture at all" I laughed prodding at her naivety.

"It is not romantic" she hissed her voice stinging.

"I get the feeling I'm hitting a nerve?" I prodded hoping to provoke some emotion from her other than hysteria.

Erin slammed on the break and turned in the seat her eyes flaring. Car horns sounded and the traffic swerved around us.

"Purser" I warned stealing a glance in the rearview mirror but she seemed past the point of reasoning. "Don't you dare get out on the highway, not unless you want to kill yourself" I warned and my finger darted towards the central locking.

"What did you say to them!" She screamed her voice highly strung. "What did you say to them! Why did you make him give me a car! What did you do?" She accused and her hands shoved at my chest forcing me away from her in the small space as she blew hot air.

"Erin" I tried to reason but her eyes flared and I pined for Jacob and his ability to soothe the tempest.

"Don't Erin me!" She cried. "I don't know what you said, but you take it back. You take it back Brian" she pleaded desperately. "I don't want a car, I don't want anything to do with Jacob. He scares me. This all scares me" she pleaded.

"Noah wants you to pass your driving test Erin. He wants to you to be a confident teenager. I suggested private tuition. You and me both know you need it. And Jacob … well despite my reservations about Black you like him" I broke of as she scowled at my words. "You do Purser, look your even blushing" I smiled as she hid her face.

"Give it a shot. Please. I'll even help you try and fish the keys from whatever back garden they landed in. Hey with your luck I bet you got them in the woods" I teased further and she gave me a sheepish look.

"Can we just drive now" she muttered her voice thick with emotion. I paused looking at her baffled for a moment as the wall seemed to suddenly build itself back up and all the truths she'd revealed were silenced.

"Don't forget to signal your intentions" I warned as she went to move off.

We drove the rest of the the lesson in silence and when I dropped her of the garden showed no signs of the previous fist fight.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! What do you think about Jacob giving her his car, we know it means a lot to him, hence why the temper got the best of him when she rejected it. Was angry Jacob hot or did he get was he deserved when Quil punched him for upsetting Erin? Thoughts please :)**

 **The next chapter Erin's up to know good, and runs away. You'll have to wait for the following chapter after that one to see who comes to her rescue ;) even if she doesn't appreciate it very much!**

 **TheREALladyofthewest thank you for the review! Yes it wasn't quite a make out session. But I think it was a big step for the pair and I'm so glad you could see that! Of course Erin isn't comfortable to jump into a relationship with Jacob at the moment she's still nervous and wary but I think gradually this should get better.**

 **Jacob will be trying all sorts of things to make Erin come round! Let just hope he can get it to work.**

 **Brookeworm3 thanks for the review, I'm so glad you liked this chapter. Yes I cant wait to get to the part where Jacob devises some strategies to help Erin tackle her phobias head on.**

 **I think she will slowly come around to the idea of letting Jacob help her, it might just take a bit of time!**

 **I have take your idea about some Erin and Quil time on board, keep you eye out for it in the coming chapters!**

 **Inuyashademons14 I'm glad you find the story interesting, I'm sorry your finding it a bit tricky to figure out I know there's a lot to take in and I'm trying to keep some mystery in there! If you have any questions to ask just pop one in on a review! I'm excited for them to reach that point in their relationship to. Thanks so much for the follow and favourite on my profile and for following and favouriting the story!**

 **Errendelle thank you for following the Hair Pin Curve**


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

 _Erin Purser_

The rain had come to shatter the hopes of a snow filled Christmas. Sally had been whinging for the entire night about it as we sat with the hail pelting the windscreen. I had the central locking on as my eyes flitted about the darkness wary of any stranger the night may be hiding. But Sally was sleeping over and the only place we could openly talk was the piece of junk on the drive. Sally feared that this weather would mean the families tradition of traveling to California to visit her Grandparents would not be avoided.

I didn't personally understand the problem Sally held with California. She had muttered something about families, but left off the high pollution levels, gangs, crime waves, wild fires and mud slides. Crucial factors in any visit to the state.

The Forecasters were reassuring commuters that the rain would be easing to the end of the week but Brian had been sketchy over the possibility of my next lesson. La Push had become island like with fallen trees and streams turning into rivers engulfing major roads. Which had left me with a hour walk back into La Push from my driving lesson on the outskirts of Forks.

I felt the car jolt with me as the music pounded. It wasn't something I should be doing, but I seldom seemed to do anything I was meant to anymore. The rain lashed at the windscreen almost in time with Fall Out Boys pounding base.

If my Grandmother caught me out here she'd skin me, something she'd threatened to do ever since I drained the battery of the car. It had been from hours spent sitting with Sally inside the small space listening the the radio which's wiring seemed faulty.

The radio signal was lacking and the CD's Paige had written for me jumped every so often.

Sally hadn't been impressed; after all she had a car Jacob Black's money couldn't buy. It was something expensive with soft seats and a flawless sheen.

A particularly hard pelt of hail hit and I bolted upright nearly setting of the cars horn which would have surely alerted the houses occupants to my whereabouts. Ever since I trudged in the house, wet to the bone I'd been watched with hawk-like eyes. Brian I suspected would have called Noah.

"Anything you say can and will be held against you" I shouted as the song began to pick up the volume bouncing of the space. "Still I trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday" I almost screamed kicking my feet into the boxing above the pedals.

I don't know when I'd started crying but now it was coming out like strangled sobs. I'd had a bad driving lesson. It wasn't even a particularly bad by my standards, but bad none the less.

I yanked at my hair and stomped my feet allowing the frustration to flow. I through my head back against the head rest and rubbed at my face smudging the mascara even further across my face.

It wasn't every day you drove over the top of a mini-roundabout. But I did. I careered straight over the top of the retched thing and nearly broke the cars suspension. Even if I didn't quite understand how serious broken suspension was, Brian's horrified expression told me everything I needed to know.

I'd bolted from the car with a choked apology, muttering about how dangerous I was and strode through the rain. I'd quickly cooled of and from the hacking cough I was suspicious I may have developed pneumonia which was not helping my breathing.

I continued to gasp for breath as the rain crushed the car and I flexed my muscles back tighter into the drivers seat.

I thought she'd shattered the window. But her fists wrapped against the window again and I jolted upright smacking my head on the roof. I chocked off mid-sob in surprise as the bejeweled fingers ushered a response.

I hurried to wind the window down before my Grandmother was blow away by a sudden gust of wind.

"Are you coming in? I've baked some cookies" my Grandmother suggested her voice highly strung.

"I'm Vegan Gran, we've discussed this" I corrected her trying to keep my voice calm.

"Hmph" she grunted, seemingly upset that she hadn't managed to suddenly lure me in with the promise of fresh baking.

"Well I have a rather handsome man of your's enjoying them, so it might be worth you coming in" she added and I began to wind the window back up.

"I'm busy" I lied sealing the window and hitting the nob which sealed me inside the car.

I let her pound on the window for a few seconds longer before a pulse of lightning across the sky had her bolting under the porch. I held out long enough for her to disappear back into the house before I made a break for it.

Without my running clothes I was slower, and the Converse couldn't match the spring of my trainers. But before she could return with the man in tow I was off down the road, blurring into the distance.

* * *

The rumble of Sally's car engine followed me for a short distance along the roadway before she momentarily abandoned the vehicle splashing through the puddles to try and keep pace with me.

"I was going to ask Brady out. What do you think? I mean I like Noah but I could settle for Brady!" She shouted against the wind and I stopped mid-stride.

"You tracked me down to tell me that?" I remarked in disgust.

She stared me down her eyes foreboding.

"Noah thinks your missing. If your not home by dinner he'll tell the Elders. And then they'll start a search party. Look Erin aren't you cold, surely you've ran it all out of your system?" She questioned frustrated.

"Not to mention Paige is refusing to feed the cat, and I've had to go over because Noah tried to give him some scraps of his plate and he puked. Not that I didn't mind going to see Noah … even if we did bond over cat sick. My point is you need to get your ass home Purser" she gushed finally.

"I'll go back when I'm ready Sally. Its safer out here. With the storm" I added thoughtfully.

"How'd you figure that?" She demanded her brow furrowed.

"A moving target is harder to kill" I shrugged thinking of a sitting duck held up in the house.

"Can I write your obituary? I know you've already detailed your entire funeral request – which is a bit morbid by the way – but it would be a ace debut in the school paper" she smiled.

"How do you know that?" I demanded my heart quickening.

"Trust me the moment I saw that the coffin was to be carried into Coldplay I sussed it could only be for you" she teased.

"So Brady, what do you think?" She questioned suddenly hopeful for my reaction again.

"Stay safe, wear a condom" I repeated the message which she recoiled at. "Sorry, I've had that drilled into me since I was like ten" I admitted sheepishly.

"Why do I put up with you?" She complained shaking the water from her hair.

"Because you lust over my brother and think I have a cute cat, plus you wouldn't mind getting your mitts on Jacob Black?" I suggested and she winked.

"Come home, you promise?" She demanded jerking out her pinky finger and I took it. I allowed Sally to twist my finger hard with hers before she broke of sprinting back to the car without a further word.

My legs were pulsing and I decided another run would be out of the question, but the thought of returning home held no draw.

Instead I kept walking.

* * *

 **Authors Note: I hope you liked this chapter, the next one is from the perspective of Brian and the following of Jacob. Poor Erin, I could just cry for her, she breaks my heart!** **I am looking forward to tomorrow as it's my last day at work before we break up for Christmas. Can't wait to get some extra sleep and stay in from the cold, my Fibromyalgia is flaring up big time at the moment :(**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts, any reviews are so appreciated, thanks guys. Watch this space I'll treat you all to a pre-Christmas update on the next chapter which centres on Brian and Paige while they try and find Erin following her going missing!**

 **Please review :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

 _Brian Albe_

Noah had called at about eleven o'clock that night. I was already fishing out my car keys and pulling on a jacket as we finished the call.

Erin was missing.

I couldn't recall the drive from Forks to La Push but suddenly I was in a small carpark full with cars and spotlights and the Tribes Elders clustered around. The rain was picking up again and the map they huddled around was beginning to be splattered with water.

Noah towered over the group and Paige was beside him clad in her hot pants like she'd gotten the wrong end of the stick with search- _party_.

I pushed my way forwards to Noah, feeling the rise of fear bubble up in me. A feeling Erin lived with every day.

My hand clasped his shoulder and he turned towards me his face softening in recognition.

"Thanks. You didn't have to come" he grunted and we shared a knowing look. I had to come. There was no choice in this.

"Sam Uley is leading a search party through the woodland areas. The rest of us should be scouting out the more built up areas" a man who seemed to be in control directed although I couldn't place his face. Then I noticed the moustache and Police Chief uniform and twigged. Billy Black had called in a favour.

Charlie looked pale as recognition flooded me. He'd been through this once before, with his own daughter.

"Is your Father about?" I asked carefully uncertain of what emotions it may stir in Noah. But he simply shook his head limply.

"Hi Brian" Paige chirped beside him flashing me a playful smile and I nodded in greeting.

"So Pursers was last sighted about midday on a street a few blocks from her house. It's nighttime now so we should presume she's covered some more distance. She promised she'd come home so we cant rule out abduction … although she does have her issues. This is very out of character, we know Erin is nervously inclined and wouldn't like to be out after dark. She could be injured" Charlie continued at a quick speed to the collected crowd.

All seemed relieved by a sudden interruption.

The crowd separated to make way for a man taller than even Noah, and certainly broader than him. He barrelled forwards his voice booming in demands for Erin until he jolted still in front of Noah whose eyes looked red and his shoulders hung limp as he finally faced his friend.

"I'm sorry … I've been in … I've been out of town. I didn't know. I got a call. I took off here as soon a I heard. Jeeze Noah what happened?" Jacob pawed at his face as he spoke and Noah filled him in on the details his voice low.

Jacob began to mutter in his native tongue turning away from Noah, his body tense as he pulled his hands through his hair kicking at the dirt.

He looked over to Charlie who nodded slightly.

Then Jacob took off.

Noah called after him but he bolted making a beeline for the woods clearly hoping to join the search party already in there.

The crowd muttered some sort of disagreement to Jacob's actions but he was quickly forgotten. The towns folks seemed uncomfortable around him, around Erin. La Push was always shrouded in secrets.

I shook the rain from my hair and collected a small map from the table, a torch and a rain mac. We were going to be in for a long night.

The groups were split off and it was agreed Noah would remain at base for when Erin was found. If she was found. The Elders seemed almost certain of the fact.

My hand helped to steady Paige as she splashed through the puddles in her heeled boots. We tailed at the back of the group, neither of us fitting in with the hardcore locals. Paige talked idly as she toddled along seemingly uncaring about the storm that wiped at us. Her Mother had stayed home to look after her Grandparents and the buck had been passed. Although Paige wasn't spiteful of Erin, she certainly didn't seem a willing participant of the search for her sister.

"So your Grandparents, you care for them?" I asked keeping my strides short to match her own.

"Yes" she quipped holding her head high. "I don't know what Erin's told you. But I'm not a dead-beat. I may not work, but that's because someone has to stay and keep and eye on the old guys. Erin's lucky. She's got a chance to get out of this place" she sighed in frustration shoving her hands into her pocket.

"You didn't?" I asked the question which had been bugging me all along.

"Oh I could of. I nearly did. I got pregnant when I was Erin's age. We had the baby fostered out. I was left, here. With this" she shrugged looking around the small houses and narrow roads. I heard a pang of jealousy in her voice but her face remained gentle.

"You had to give up your child" the words tripped out without much thinking and she looked over to me her eyes glassy.

"Yes. I gave up my child. I … it was for the best. Erin didn't really remember much of it I don't think. She was on pretty heavy medication then. I even think she spent some time away, in a refuge centre. I don't know. She never talks to me about it, and well we don't exactly bring it up in conversation. But Gran talks to me about it sometimes. She said she had to do the same once, back when it wasn't proper to have a child out of wedlock. I guess things haven't changed much" she shrugged and all I could do was nod in agreement.

"Noah brought the garage, went into business with Jacob, I deferred my scholarship, and never got round to going. I guess all I do now is babysit two oldies and bookkeep for the garage. That's why Noah wants more for Erin. He thinks she could do better with her life, she wants to write. Journalism I think. I keep reminding him she needs to get herself sorted out first but he doesn't see it like that. He thinks sending her away from this place will solve all her shit. It wont" she quipped.

"Do you think maybe their jumping the gun here. You know, she's only been out a few hours and she promised she'd come home?" I shrugged trying to steer away to a different topic but failed miserably as Paige glared at me.

"How well do you know Erin?" She asked bluntly and I shrugged uncertain, questioning the relationship we held. I knew as much as she wanted me to know.

"Well I don't know Erin very well. I don't think anyone does really, maybe Noah, Sally, that guy Quil. But what I'm getting at is that Erin is a loner, she flys under the radar. Erin doesn't do things like this. She wouldn't want a search party. So I'm guessing she cant come home, not that she doesn't want to" Paige shrugged.

"I'm not sure" I corrected and she stopped letting the search party separate from us further.

"Erin likes running away from her problems. Maybe she's trying to escape something again" I shrugged trying to keep the conversation diplomatic.

Paige turned her head to the side considering it.

"I wanted to be a mathematician you know. I was going to study it, I could have had a career in programming. I'm intelligent, but Erin, she is a problem that I cant solve" she shrugged.

"Did you just compare your sister to maths" I laughed and she smiled slightly.

"Kinda" she agreed.

"They'll find her"I tried to assure but my voice sounded weak.

"I hope so" Paige agreed and I nodded with her.

We paced on, catching up with the torch bearing searchers who were stomping through the storm and referring to their sodden maps every few minutes ticking things of with thick pens.

* * *

 **Authors Note:  
**

 **Well guys I hope you enjoyed this update I'm sorry it's so glum! Look forward to some exciting Erin and Jacob scenes coming up in the next update! I hope you all have a beautiful Christmas. Please leave a review.**

 **BrookeWorm3 thank you so much for the review. Look forward to the next chapter when Jacob comes to the rescue! :)**

 **ajwehri thank you for the story favourite!**


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

 _Jacob Black_

Charlie nodded at me and that was all it took to have me leaving the collected volunteers. The Elders were centred at the front around a large table and I kept my eyes down, avoiding contact with Billy as I turned to leave.

Things hadn't been right between us for a while and I didn't doubt he'd blame me for this is some way.

Things hadn't been right with me and the tribe for a long time.

That's why I was hardly here.

Quil's voice had been soft on the phone, hushed as I ducked into another room at the Cullen residence. It was unusual to be disturbed during my weekends away here. In fact I'd hardly shared a word with Quil following the fight between us.

But his words brought news of Erin and all thoughts of feuds were lost.

I had left without explanation, only stopping to de-clothe before shifting. I'd made it to La Push in good time and a quick assessment of the situation had me returning to the woods.

Erin had a small turn out of volunteers which perhaps showed her unpopularity in the town. I wondered what would happen if it had of been someone else, her friend Sally, brother Noah. Was it because of the rumours, her creamy skin, and psychotic nature.

Erin was almost as outcast as I in this village. Maybe that's what drew us together. We were both outsiders really.

I raced through the woodland darting through the tree's following the voices of the Pack. My relationships with them was complicated. Sam Uley had initially stepped down to allow me to run the tribe, but this had dissolved quickly following my bouts of absence. Now things were hostile.

I had become an unwanted necessity.

I made a beeline for Sam who was searching alone. I was the best shot we had of finding her.

Sam stood in front of Erin and he cast a long dark shadow over her body blocking out the light from the moon which had shone an odd glow over her body.

He was scowling and his hands seemed eager to touch her to reassure her. But he didn't move, instead he looked back at me. Giving me permission.

I stepped out from the trees and moved into Erin's vision. Her hands clasped and unclasped rhythmically as her body vibrated in gentle quivers. Her hair was damp and curling around her like a mane and her eyes were ringed and glassy.

"Purser" I grunted wishing this wasn't something I had to be doing in front of the others. "Purser you need to come with us, people are looking for you. You've been gone a while" I explained trying to avoid looking at her.

"Let them look" she bit her eyes daring to meet mine and her voice showed no sign of weakness. "I'm not ready to go home yet" she added ducking her eyes away again a blush creeping over her skin.

I hadn't considered what effect two towering, shirtless men would have on Erin but I was glad the rest of the Pack were keeping themselves back.

"I need to take you back to Noah" I added and she tensed at his name.

"I told you I'm not ready to go" she hissed. I reached towards her but she skirted back moving away from my touch as if it was toxic. "Leave me the hell alone Black!" She screamed and I recoiled at her words.

Her hands began clenching and unclenching and she closed her eyes forcing her breath out through her clenched teeth.

Sam seemed perplexed and I wanted to cover Erin up, hide her vulnerability. Disguise what I had caused.

"I want you to come home, Erin" I requested coming back to crouch beside her. "I want you to, okay" I repeated gently and her eyes flexed open the tears brimming on the edges.

"Your gonna catch your death out here" Sam added and I face palmed as Erin closed her eyes again tense at the sound of another voice breaking into the moment between us.

"Sam, can you give us a minute?" I asked my voice tense and I flashed him a cutting glare.

He looked at me like he thought I was mad and continued to stand watching us.

"Purser. Purser please" I begged. "There's a high percentage right now your going to get hyperthermia if you stay out here any longer. Your vulnerable here, you don't know what sort of things come into this place" I added trying to toy with the nervous side of her personality. "You wouldn't want to meet anything bad out here" I added sternly and I could hear here heart rate increasing.

"That's why I avoid woodland, it's on my list" she laughed nervously and I smiled.

But her joking seemed to only suppress her true emotions and I could see behind her eyes the anxiety building. Erin changed suddenly. Her flexing fingers had began to run through her hair pulling at it as she shook her head as if trying to remove her thoughts.

Before I or Sam could anticipate her next move, she was upright and sprinting away from us. I froze momentarily my head darting after Erin then snapping back to a just as confused Sam. He looked just as mortified and I began to run after her. It took me two strides before I wrapped my arms around her waist snatching her light body from the ground and suspending her mid-air as she continued to kick.

"The storm. I didn't feel safe. So I thought I'd keep running, outrun the storm find somewhere safe. I lost my bearings" she admitted her body still tense as my chest brushed against her back and I slowly set her feet back on the ground but kept my hands locking her in place.

"Your safe with me" I promised and she exhaled pushing her cold body backup against my own.

I could have kissed her then. My body was reacting to her in the most agonising way, the Wolf demanding to have her but I pushed the thoughts away from me.

"Lets get out of here shall we" I suggested taking her hand and giving her a gentle nudge forwards. Her hand was limp in my own and I led her on weary feet out of the woods, Sam only a few steps behind us. Erin was silent the entire way, as if I was leading her to her fate.

With Erin's slow pace it took us over an hour to break free of the woods and Sam had broke of ahead of us to call off the search. I may have been slower than necessary. Despite her exhaustion she made resolute to walk but kept close to my side as the sounds of the woodland continued to unnerve her.

Erin flinched at the sounds of the birds, screeched at snapping twigs and flinched away from the shadows.

It would have been much easy to carry her.

I'd explained this to her but she'd glared and stormed of ahead.

So I led her home.

* * *

When she'd gone, I'd ran for an hour straight. I crossed borders blindly, recklessly running until I could no more. My mind was haunted my her face, so hurt as Noah pulled her from me and took her home. She was asking me something, she was asking me to stay.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hello everyone sorry I haven't updated for a while, I've been focusing on Doing it the Blonde Way and am very happy to say it has now been completed! Wishing you all a very happy New Year where ever you are in the world, and look forward to Erin's return in the coming chapter.**

 **I started writing and posting on here because I was so, so fed up of all these amazingly normal people in books. And when I was going through my diagnosis for Fibromyalgia and experiencing all the wonderful things that come with it I found no one I could relate to. I decided I would write my own.**

 **I just want to clear a few things up in a guest review I got earlier today which was quite upsetting. As with anything you put out their online I expect critique and its necessary to try and improve. But as a human being criticism is difficult to take and ca be quite hurtful.**

 **So to the guest review, thank you for taking the time to look over the story and leave me your thoughts.**

 **I'm assuming you must have read Doing it the Blonde Way, from your comment that this story isnt my best and I'm sorry your so disapointed, obviously I want people to enjoy what I write.**

 **I have had comments before on my other story about my main character being annoying, and I get that. I get that because sometimes I just want to slap Erin round the face, I want to tell her to get a grip, to shout right back. I felt that way with Imogene to my OC from my other story. Erin has severe anxiety, Imogene had chronic pain. My OC are something I always want to do differently, and I use them to try and educate them on people who are different. Erin's anxiety does make her fucked up, very much so, but as this story progresses with help Erin is going to get better, she has a medical condition.**

 **I see that perhaps keeping an air of mystery about the condition has caused confusion and as a result of your comment I'm planning on slipping a chapter in to try and clear things up completely.**

 **You may feel my story is a 'dud' but I plan on continuing to write it. You don't like my protryal of Jacob at the moment, I get that, he is at times an arsehole but dealing with someone like Erin can be very, very frustrating. There relationship is something that is being worked up, but I don't think Jacob is a bully. I'm sorry you feel that it is disgusting how much I make Erin a 'doormat' but that's the way I've written this story, and as with both my female OC I try and write about strong women. Now although Erin might appear like a doormat to you. Knowing people who suffer from anxiety, and from personal experiences I feel that the peoples who's lives I've based Erin's character on are far from doormats and are in fact very strong individuals who are having to deal with a great amount of stress in their lives that goes unseen and misunderstood by many.**

 **I hope you do decide to carry on reading this story, but if you don't then that's fine either way, I know there are many, many JacobxOC fanfictions up here with way less messed up characters and ones who are quiet Mary Sue like that you will proberley enjoy much more than my awful characters.**

 **Happy New Year, and goodluck with whatever 2017 brings you. Thanks for taking the time to leave me your thoughts :)**

 **Brookeworm3 like hell girl can you read my dam mind, or am I just being really predictable :/ Yes Erin's got quite the collection of relatives hasn't she. Hey that's alright I type like crazy to and I HATE autocorrect. I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter and I hope you enjoyed this one. Keep the reviews coming they always cheer me up! Happy New Year!**

 **Natsumi456 thank you for the review! Sorry I kept you waiting this long for the update!**

 **Nicka-Dan-Eisha thank you for the follow!**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

 _Erin Purser_

Noah ripped me from Jacob's hold and began to pull me away from the crowd gathered. Paige strutted behind me and I could hear the murmurs of gossip as we passed through. I wanted to run away again but Noah's hand was bruising and I knew escape would be fruitless.

Instead I allowed him to pull me along as my breathing became more unnerving and he refused to meet my eyes.

"Let me go" I groaned as the crowd thinned and we were walking towards the house. He laughed and kept his hold.

"Noah" Paige cut in. "Let her go" she insisted and we both seemed stunned by her defence.

Paige seldom defended me and Noah's hand recoiled from me.

I muttered a thanks and rubbed at my sore limb.

I had run until I thought my legs might drop off if I didn't stop. My clothes were starting to chafe and my throat was closing in with the need to head pounded as I walked along the familiar street.

I strode ahead of my siblings my heart aching for the touch of Jacob Black which had me rhythmically clenching and unclenching my hands in some feeble attempt to calm myself. The walk home was teasingly long and I fumed all the way my anger slowly building.

"Why can't you all just leave me alone?" I cried as we reached the front door shrouded in a cloud of darkness from the night. "I didn't want to be found. I don't want to be here. I want to be on my own!" I wailed the tears prickling at my eyes as I fumbled with the door handle.

"Your selfish Erin! You know that, your selfish. Noah was petrified something had happened to you. And your still acting like a brat" Paige shouted and Noah jumped in to cut her off.

"Enough, both of you. Paige go cool off. Erin I suggest you go to bed, try and get some sleep" Noah addressed us both and I finally managed to grip the door enough to open it. My head was pounding and I palmed at the walls as I tripped through the house, tears burning my eyes.

I crawled up the stairs, my feet pulsing and I clawed at the wallpaper trying to pull my body upwards. I darted for the doorway slamming it behind me. I pulled off my clothes, stained and dirty from the forest and fell onto the bed, my breath caught and I muffled my cries into the bedspread.

I thrashed about conjuring up Wolves and my screams filled the house.

* * *

Showering had left my skin smelling fruity and washed the remainder of Jacob's scent from my skin, but the cool water had done nothing to drive down the dull ache low in my groin. I wriggled about on the bed spread, shifting my position as I tried to encourage sleep. The room was to cold and I felt more alone than ever.

Perhaps I'd gone to far this time.

I'd dreamt of Wolves, or heartache and true love.

I had woken up with a shriek and the chill hadn't left me.

Noah had burst through the door and shook me from the vision. But it felt real. It felt so, so real. They say anxiety does that, it warps your mind. Perhaps I was warped.

Sebastian was playing with my toes, scratching them as I flinched away which had him pouncing on me.

I wondered for a moment if Jacob liked cats.

I rolled over onto my stomach and began to cry again.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

 _Brian Albe_

"I looked for you, with your sister. We talked" I noted and Erin gave me a sharp glare.

"She was a whore" She spat the words almost verminous and she crunched the gears.

I spluttered on the coffee before setting it down into the hold-all and looking at her in surprise.

"Men are dangerous. Who do you think taught me that?" Erin laughed bitterly. "Paige showed me exactly what happens when you think you've found love" Purser announced clenching the steering wheel.

"You don't believe in love?" I asked taken aback by her hostility.

"Loves for Fairytales" she corrected her face stern and I couldn't conceal my surprise.

"I thought all girls believed in love" I chuckled.

"No Brian, FYI we don't" she spat her body tensed and I wondered if she'd been taking medication because her mood seemed to be pretty pissy.

"You sound like someone who's afraid to be loved Erin, not someone who doesn't believe in its existence" I prompted.

"I don't love Jacob Black okay!" She screeched hitting the break and turning to glare at me, her eyes wild and darting around the small space. Her chest rose and fell, and I watched her breathing and her skin turning rosy against the creamy sweater.

"Erin" I warned stretching out to soothe her with my hand but she jerked away from my touch like it was toxic. I slowly retreated my hand holding it away from her to show my surrender.

"I don't love Jacob Black, Brian, I don't" she cried her fists coiling to bang against the steering wheel.

"No?" I questioned doubtfully and she turned her cloudy eyes to me.

"I don't know what love is … I, I wouldn't want to be in love. Its to dangerous" she gushed and I felt her words hit me. This girl, this girls who felt so much, who fear so many emotions.

"You don't love him? You don't feel anything for him huh? Purser look around you. Look where you've just driven us to!" I exclaimed jerking my hand to the window which was dotted with rain from the coming storm.

She looked with a shaky breath to the street. We were a short walk from Billy Black's house. Where Jacob used to reside.

"I don't know him. I don't know him. Not really. I cant be in love with someone I hardly know. Maybe I like him. But that's it" she continued to deny any feelings as she rang her hands.

"I don't know Erin. I've seen the way you care for one another. He found you. You should have seen him when he came to look for you. Erin he looked like a lost little boy. You broke him" I shrugged.

She looked shocked again and I remembered to tread carefully to prevent any sort of episode.

"I shouldn't really be driving. Noah's making me take my medications again. Mum's making him crush them into my food. But I don't want them. They make me feel like a zombie. They stop me from feeling." She complained picking at her nails. "I've been having nightmares. Every night. And they're just getting worse. Mum wants me on sleeping pills again but I wont take them. I don't want to take any of it" she confessed pulling at the material of her sweater in frustration.

"Then don't take them" I shrugged tying to keep things simple and she smiled slightly.

"I wish it was that straight forward" she noted and I sensed she was waiting for permission.

"Go find Black. Go on, you want to. I'll cover for you for a few hours, but the rest is down to you" I leant past her as I spoke opening the drivers side door and encouraging her out of the car. "Come on Purser, live a little" I teased unclipping her seat belt.

"Livings dangerous" she grunted sitting fixed in her seat.

"Go find him Purser. I need a cigarette" I shrugged encouraging her to scoot from the car.

She grunted in annoyance but moved slamming the door behind her and taking baby steps towards the wooden clad bungalow.

I waited until she reached the front door and tenderly knocked the door. She looked green, and I watched her clenching and unclenching her hands until the door was pulled back and Billy Black sat before her.

Her mouth opened to form words but all that came was a chocked sob and she burst into tears. A taller man stepped around Billy and I watched Quil draw her into an embrace as she broke down.

I relaxed into the chair knowing someone was going to taken care of her. But I jumped up again as a even taller man crossed in front of the car. His face was hard and I recognised it from somewhere.

I moved from the car and decided how to play this. I twisted the cigarette around in my fingers contemplating what this discussion could hold.

"Erin, she's looking for Black, Jacob Black" I revealed and the man tensed his jaw.

"Jacob doesn't come here anyone" he spat and turned back towards the house.

"Nice talk" I muttered under my breath reaching into my pocket to retrieve my lighter. I swear the man paused and moment before he continued walking.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Well as chapter seventeen was a bit short I thought I'd chuck this one in as well! In the next chapter we see what happens when Erin ends up at Jacob's new apartment and what sort of reception she gets there! I know this is a bit of a slow burn story but I hope you can all stick with it, I promise you are in store for some lovely romance ahead.**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you for another review! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! Haha it would be pretty awesome wouldnt it. I hope these two chapters were up to your expectations. The relationship between Jacob and Billy is very tense. Billy and the Pack are very unhappy with the way Jacob has been with the Cullens and his initial rejection of the Imprint. But hopefully Erin will be able to help him build up those bridges again. Soon I promise I know it feels like ages away but they will!**


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

 _Erin Purser_

I followed the road as it twisted along leading to the most modern building I'd been in. I'm certain it properly wasn't all that extravagant. But anything was a luxury compared to my two up two down.

My breathing seemed to settle leaving a dull ache in my chest as I looked up at the porch and the forbidding front door waiting to bottle it at the last moment.

I couldn't go home. But I shouldn't be here.

The blinds were closed and no light shone from the hallway. I toed at the mat wondering if he kept a spare key under there.

I knocked on the door my knuckles split from the cold and skin blemished.

"Jacob?" I croaked but the door remained firmly closed.

With a defeated sigh I sank to the decking. Pulling of my shoes I allowed the water to drain from them, peeling of my socks with them and tucking them neatly inside the sodden footwear. I set them to the side of me and folded myself in.

I sat under the sloping roof keeping dry from the rain. My clothes felt sodden and I knew I'd catch a cold. I fumbled around in the pocket of the jacket considering sending a text to Noah but I could find the mobile, perhaps I'd left it behind.

I sagged my head back against the door and closed my eyes humming to myself in a soothing tone.

* * *

I woke as the step creaked and I sat upright eyes wide and vulnerable.

"Erin?" Jacob husked and I blinked at him a few times.

"Hi" I gulped.

"Erin, are people looking for you again, does Noah know where you are!" Jacob shouted taking the last step and coming to stand over me.

I felt my breath catch at his superior stance over me and wanted to pull myself up to meet his gaze but my legs felt like jelly.

"Let him look" I shrugged trying to be the defiant teenager I wanted to be but the words sounded limp.

"I'm calling your Brother" he scowled turning away from me.

"No, please don't. I can't go home Jacob. Not at the moment. I, I want to be alone" I begged grabbing at his arm and using his weight to pull myself upright.

"You want to be alone. But you came here" he laughed.

"I just started driving and I wound up near here. I tried to get an answer …" I explained.

"I was out of town" he bit back a little defensive.

"I thought I'd be the last person you'd want to see, especially considering you want to be alone" he added.

"I ended up here, looking for you. I don't know how that works but … I feel safe" I shrugged.

"What am I supposed to say to Noah?" He demanded and I smiled slightly at how I was twisting him around to the idea of harbouring me here.

"Tell him you got a call of me. I'm visiting a friend out of town. Tell him I've gone to see … Bella tell him that. We used to talk, sometimes. He'll believe it, honest. If you tell him I'll be out for the weekend he'll believe me. Tell him Bella told you. Please Jake. I just want to be here …" I shivered and his eyes widened.

"You want me to lie. You want me to lie to your brother?" He hissed inching closer to me.

"Lie is a strong word. I'd say it's more like twisting the truth. It stops him getting hurt. It stops me getting hurt. And I think you'd like me to stay" I blushed as I spoke.

"Your being very bashful Purser" he teased but reached past me pushing the door open and I felt my heart pound unevenly.

"One night, okay that's it. That's my good deed done you hear me" Jacob warned and I smiled shyly up at him.

"Thank you" I whispered.

I followed Jacob into the house, this time I took it in for all it's boldness. I didn't know what I expected, but I sure had a lot to compare it to. It was all clean lines, flawless surfaces and crisp colours.

"Do you spend much time here?" I questioned fumbling with my shoes as I tried to place them to the side. Jacob was striding ahead of me and I followed him with my eyes as he moved about the place almost as if he to was a guest.

"No" he answered quickly his voice sharp.

"You should go get some ornaments. Maybe have some photographs done for the rooms" I suggested gently keeping my eyes lowered as I tucked my shoes to the side and moved onto the flooring.

"I travel light. I tend to avoid trinkets" he shrugged and I stole a sneaky peak from the corner of my eye.

"Do you want a drink, something to eat?" He asked after a nervous pause between us and my eyes flashed to him for a moment in questioning.

"I'll have some water, please" I whispered, fiddling with a strand of thread on my shirt sleeve.

"Food?" He asked again stalking towards the fridge and pulling it open, the light pooling against him.

I looked at him blankly for a moment, trying to decide if he was joking. The man's face was set straight and I walked slowly towards him feeling a pressure beginning to build inside my head with each step. I looked into the hardly stocked fridge and my stomach did a nervous flip.

"Is anything in there even edible?" I questioned doubtfully looking at the shelves. Jacob frowned but reached for a piece of foul smelling chicken and took a bite of the leg shrugging. "Tastes good to me" he laughed offering the leg to me and I recoiled curling my lip as I smacked into the counter.

His hand reached for me but I moved back further, the worktop digging into my spine.

"Don't come near me. Not with that. It's disgusting. It repulses me that you can even consider eating that. Do you know what your consuming, do you realise Jacob! Billions, upon billions of animals are tortured and raped and killed just so you, can consume that!" I snapped jerking my hand towards the flesh. "You people. You don't want to hear the truth. Your so blinkered. You murder, you facilitate murder. Just for what, some pleasure? Do you know how hypocritical that shit is …" I ranted but slowly my voice quietened until a dull silence remained.

Jacobs stare was burning up my skin and I stood fixed to the spot my head bowed and my hands clenching and unclenching in therapeutic movements.

"Your just so ..." he broke of unable to finish the sentence, the words that he wanted to shout out not coming.

I was just so what? Weird, strange, annoying, creepy.

"I know" I nodded softly, because I was all of those things and worse. I was a prefect contradiction of what we believed humanity to be, to what we should be like. Did that make me odd? Very much so, but it didn't make me any less human than he was, not really.

"I think I need to go and plant some flowers, or go hug some trees" I joked but the smile never met my eyes. It wasn't funny, not truly.

"Hey" he reached out attempting to stall my move to leave but I pulled away. "I don't think you do any of that stuff they say you do you know" his eyes searched mine for a minute before I pushed myself past him and backed up out of the kitchen.

Weird.

Strange.

Annoying.

Creepy.

You see the problem is the moment you point out to everyone just how hypocritical they are, the only way they can deal with it to torment you due to their own guilt.

"Where are you going Purser?" He accused stopping me in my tracks and I turn boldly back to him, trying to hear my voice over my pounding heart.

"I'm leaving. I've upset you" I shrugged. "That's what people do isn't it?" I asked trying not to make my naivety so obvious.

"You upset people a lot?" He teased, I could tell from the smile that framed his jaw line.

"Only the people I like" I admitted with a fierce blush.

"Good thing I like you to then, a lot, otherwise I might be offended" he shrugged.

"Come on, how about you have a shower. Warm yourself up" he suggested and I felt my self involuntary nodding, transfixed by this man.

We took the stairs, and I blushed in front of him, wondering if he was looking at my ass as we climbed up to the landing. He directed me to the left and before I realised it, I'd stepped into his room.

I had never been in a boys bedroom before, and something about being in Jacob Black's room was making my pulse jerk wildly.

Despite his apparent disregard for keepsakes his room had some. I flicked over the photo frames crammed onto a dresser running my eyes over the familiar faces and recoiling at my own, worn and curled at the edges it sat without a frame propped up.

"I read online. That the best way to deal with a fear, is to confront it head on. What do you reckon Erin. Should we cross something of your list?" He asked with a wink and my jaw sagged with horror at what he was implying.

"I am not going to have sex with you!" I warned already looking for an escape route but his barking laugh cut me off.

"Get in the wardrobe" he proposed opening the closet with a wicked grin. It was large, stretching to the ceiling in pine. Raised from the ground by heavy feet it was a matching set to the rest of the room. "I wasn't implying we sleep together, not yet anyway, I was implying you face your fear of confined spaces"he suggested.

I moved my stare from him to the wardrobe trying to gauge his seriousness.

"Look it's better than the boiler cupboard, less warm" he laughed but I remained blank faced. "Prove me wrong Princess, come on this is what you've wanted to do for weeks. Prove got me that you don't have issues"Jacob's voice was softer this time, his eyes prying into mine.

I was beginning to doubt my desire to prove anything. The wardrobe would be dark inside, confined and could be blocked from the outside. It could topple over, it could collapse, air-supply could be cut of. The possibilities were streaming through my mind as my hands began to run with clammy sweat.

I looked at the wardrobe again stepping forwards and pulling it open. It was surprisingly sparse, with more than enough room for an occupant. It held a handful of shirts, some jackets, a suit. A suit?

"You didn't strike me as the suit type" I mumbled reaching out to fiddle with the it's soft texture.

"Really?" He shrugged seeming uncomfortable with my fumblings.

I leant forward and inhaled the scent the fabric held, it was new. Worn briefly from the specs of dirt which were just noticeable..

"You're saving it for something, a wedding perhaps?" I enquired trying to distract him.

His snicker was thick, and he shook his head gently the tension relaxing from him. "I'm not the marriage type, it's was for a friends wedding … If you must know" he stated coldly the lightness loosing it's way through the sentence.

"Just get in the wardrobe Princess, I've got other things to do today" he remarked, his words coming out harsher now.

"This is stupid" I quipped. "I don't need to prove anything to you" I shrugged smearing my sweaty palms against my sweatpants. I side stepped Jacob, moving around him towards the doorway.

"You have everything to prove Erin" he corrected blocking my path with his looming figure, making my throat tingle with constriction.

I felt trapped. The figure was dangerous, crowding my personal space, invading any attempt of escape. A shiver racked my frame and I looked wildly around for another escape route.

Being afraid. Being nervously inclined. Being like this. It made life a minefield.

"Excuse me" I mumbled trying to move around Jacob once more but he matched my step.

"Not so fast, Princess" he warned.

"Look Jacob, if you don't move out of my way right now, I am going to loose my shit. I will scream, cry, hyperventilate, probably vomit. I might even faint" I warned. "You don't want to have to deal with that".

"Get in the wardrobe Erin" he pleaded. "Get in the wardrobe and prove me wrong, prove yourself wrong. Go in there, go in there and show me that you wont have a panic attack".

"I don't want to okay, I don't want to feel like that!" I cried my breath hitching with stinging tears.

"Erin, your going to feel like that your whole dam life if you don't do anything!" He accused taking a step towards me.

"Stop" I warned again backing up even further until I realised there was no where left to go.

"I don't have anxiety okay Jacob. I don't care what you think. I don't give a dam. I am fine, I don't want your help! I don't want to be saved. I want to be accepted. This is me! But I do not have issues!" I wailed and he smirked as if my fluctuating emotions were entertaining.

"Remember when we were kids. When we went to the beach. You always hated the god dam beach, it freaked you about getting the sand on your clothes. You always stood out with your scruffy outfits and Rachel's hand-me-downs. You didn't care though, you always had to be clean.

We went to the cliffs. And then we went searching in the caves. We lost you in there. You got stuck, and then the tide started coming in and …" Jacob broke off.

"And Noah bust your ass, my Father stopped me going out with you guys. I never went to the beach again. I aways made excuses. I was terrified of water. My Mother couldn't get me into a bathtub for days after, I thought I'd drown" I whimpered at the memory.

"We couldn't find you. We spent hours searching for you. Quil got to your first. He found you sat up the beach, you were drenched, and you were just sat there, you were just watching the water, you wouldn't even look at me" he whispered.

"You were always a bastard" I hissed. "Is that what this is? Are you repenting for your sins Jacob, because if you are, you can go and find another girl to do it with" I spat.

"Erin, Erin you here?" A voice called up the stairwell and I instantly moved towards Quil. He voice was easy, gentler than Jacobs and I felt myself well with tears. I darted for the hallway, tripping over my feet in my eagerness I slammed into the banister rail and slid down the stairs on my back.

I cried out as the stairs banged against my back leaving welts. Quil caught me halfway and I moulded into him sobbing gently against him. I could hear Jacob punching the wall above us, his fists pounding rhythmically over and over.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It nearly didnt get posted as I've had a especially difficult week at work and am feeling a bit down at the moment. But re-reading through what I'd written helped to bring a bit of positivity back. Look forwards to Jacob P.O.V in the next chapter where he's pinning for Erin.**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you for another lovely review! Ha ha yes Erin is VERY abrupt and blunt, I think it's a mixture of her social awkwardness and difficulty with her anxiousness. No Sam isn't going to hate on Erin, I'm hoping she will be helping to bring the group back together a little. Yes me to, they are getting there, I've just written a chapter of their first date - so sweet :) Yes I agree that Quil's perspective is interesting it is something I will consider. Yes he is very loyal with Erin, I think he's seen it as his duty since Jacob imprinted on her to watch over her and keep her safe especially with Jacob's struggle to accept the Imprint. Thanks again!**

 **JellyLove01 thank you for the follow!**

 **punxzr0xz89 thank you so much for following and favouriting the story.**

 **xxxNinaxxx thank you for the favourite and the follow on the fiction I really appreciate it.**


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

 _Jacob Black_

Erin wasn't speaking to me and I couldn't decide whether it was a relief or not. Quil told me I was trying to rush things with her. So I'd started researching. Between the garage, visiting the Cullen's, keeping up appearances with the Pack and a little light stalking of Erin I'd crammed it in.

Quil understood better than the others but not fully. At least no ones Imprint hated them. Well I don't think Purser entirely hated me but I didn't exactly get the best vibes from her.

I couldn't help it though. I always seemed to make her cry, no matter how much I tried to help. I hit the backspace clearing the text I was about to send to her and looked down at the screen again considering my choice of words more than I'd ever done before. I wanted to just turn up at her door and blurt it all out but I doubt she'd let me in.

 **Jacob: Hey Erin. I'm sorry I scared you. It's just you bring out these emotions in me that I cant control, you make me feral. I'm sorry you hurt yourself here. I never meant to scare you, I didn't want you to be afraid of me. I, shit Erin, I don't know what I want. Just text me, let me know your okay. I want to see you. Please.**

I hit the send before I could consider how pathetic it sounded. I was in deep for this girl.

Noah was skittish whenever I mentioned his sister now and I suspected he was on to me. I hadn't even managed to convince her to get in the Rabbit with me for a lesson. I'd screwed it all up the moment I tried to get her to face her fear of confined spaces.

It was all going to be a hell of a lot harder than I first thought.

 **Erin: Go away Jacob.**

The phone dinged and I looked at the screen with a mild amusement.

 **Jacob: Princess ;)**

I smirked even as I sent the message and I waited for her angry response but nothing came and I chucked the phone onto the counter huffing in frustration. I wondered if Quil had any better luck with her.

Perhaps it was because Quil had stuck around when I hadn't. Him and Embry, they were both people Erin trusted.

I paced back and forth for a moment stepping along the floor as I considered my next move. I was supposed to be running laps around the border by now and Paul had long since given up waiting for me.

That remind me I was meant to be going to a family meal. Something about Rachel getting engaged.

I doubt I'd go.

My feet led me towards the door and before I fully processed my actions, I was down the porch and heading for Quil's. I was pinning my hopes of Erin being there.

* * *

I never knocked at Quil's place. Instead I opened the door which led straight into the living room already hearing the light laughter of Erin. The natural way it fell out had my heartbeat increasing and I found a pang of jealousy at it. I'd never produce something like that from her.

The scene was natural as Erin sprawled out clutching her side as she tried to contain her giggles. Her shirt had ridden up as she convulsed in her giggle to bear her ribs to me and I licked my lips taking in her narrow hips and pierced belly-button.

In the armchair beside her sat Quil with Claire perched on the arm rest, both clutched controls and the game flashed across the screen as Quil let Claire obliterate him.

Erin seemed unable to control herself as she continued to laugh at Claire's focused attention and Quil's deflated stare.

I held back unnoticed as I watched her. Her legs were unusually uncovered and her shorts sat high. She would never show that much skin in front of me.

A cold glass of water sat on the stool beside her and a tray of hummus and vegetable sticks sat half eaten on the floor.

Her eyes were ringed with dark circles and her hair was falling wildly around her face it's auburn curls in bunches which made her look younger than she was coupled with her freckles.

Erin's body was draped out amount the cushions, calm and lacking any of her usual tension which seemed to rack her body.

Quil was giving me the occasional glance over his shoulder but he was being subtle enough not to alert Claire or Erin. I was waiting for him to blow my cover but he seemed just as reluctant to spoil the moment.

"If I laugh any harder I'll wet myself!" Erin squealed as Claire through the controller down and sprang of the arm chair towards her.

"Ew!" Claire mocked as she clambered over Erin's small frame trying to tickle her.

Quil chucked quietly in adoration as he watched the pair and I tightened my grip on the handle.

I backed back out the doorway closing it gently to conceal my exit.

I could never have that with her. I could never make her feel like that.

I wanted to lash out.

I was shifting without even thinking about it, my clothes shedding from me as the frustration bubbled up and spilled out.

* * *

 **Authors Note: well sorry for the later update guys, I've had a pretty rubbish week of it to be honest! I've had laragngitus, a tummy-bug and had a fibromyalgia flare up so I'm feeling particularly crappy at the moment but I really wanted to get this posted for you all.**

 **Poor Jacob! And poor Erin who is completly oblivious to the desires he holds for her!**

 **Look out for Brian's next chapter and Erin's following straight after as I will be doing a double-update. A bit of saddened is about to hit Erin I'm afraid.**

 **As always please leave me your thoughts!**

 **Booklovinggirl123 Thanks for the follow.**

 **mayfire21 Thank you for the follow.**

 **YukiTenshi777 Thank you for the follows and favourites!**


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

 _Brian Albe_

Erin spoke little at first when she had slipped in beside me but she seemed more awkward than usual and winced with every movement. Her arms were bruised and I was waiting for the right moment to question her.

She'd stalled the car twice now and we were hardly out of her estate. Her appearance seemed worn and I noticed a dark shadows under her eyes.

"I heard back from a University. It's a way-away. Out in New York. Noah will want me to take it. It looks like I might get a scholarship" she tensed even as she spoke.

"People tend to say that with a little more enthusiasm" I mocked and she turned even sterner.

"New Yorks a long way-away" she repeated.

"Well Dorothy your not in Kansas anymore" I teased but she remained unamused.

"No ones pressuring you for a decision Erin. Your still young. You've got your whole life to figure this shit out" I assured.

"I have to right a piece. A journalism piece. I have to cover something, something personal to me" she noted picked at the steering wheel. I let the silence sit trying to consider how to respond to that. I knew exactly what she should write. She should write about herself. But somehow I sensed to her, that would be the greatest insult of all.

"Do you ever have this sinking feeling?" She questioned her hands loosening for the wheel and I watched her face become red.

"What, like when I think my numbers are coming up on the lotto, and then they don't?" I asked trying to get at what she was suggesting.

"No" she shook her head her hair falling loose from it's tie.

"A sinking feeling like something's wrong?" I tried again and she nodded.

"A feeling like something is about to go terribly wrong and theres nothing you can do about it. Like all of a sudden your just overwhelmed by this emotion. By these feelings. I just feel suddenly overcome by this sadness. My heart is aching, like something is suddenly missing from my life" she began to explain and even as she spoke I watched a tear run down her face. Then before I knew it she had dissolved into sobs.

"Purser?" I asked suddenly panicked at what had set her off.

But this didn't seem like her usual panicked attack. The tears were falling as I flapped for the tissue box and thrusted it towards her trying to silence her emotions. She took one limply but continued to ball her body shaking with every sob.

"Erin. Erin listen to me. Nothing bad is going to happen. You were doing a good job, sure you stalled a few times but you've not ran anyone over yet" I teased and she sobbed harder and my eyes watched her hands.

The habit seemed almost instinct now as her hands clenched to fists and released repetitively.

Her sobs continued and so did her hands jolting about. Erin's body pressed into the seat and her face turned a deeper shade of red, standing out against her pale sweats. I wanted for a moment to push her from the car, to get her outside in to the cold air which might have shocked her into sense but I remained frozen.

The street was desolate and I was glad for the lack of audience.

Erin's emotions had becoming normal to me, normal to her. But to others, they were strange. They made her different. There was something wrong with Erin Purser.

"My wife brought tickets for this concert. It's for a band I don't like. You should go with her. They're called Fall Out Boy, I think you'd like it. She's nice. My wife. You two would hit it off" I mused trying to draw some conversation out of Erin. "You should come out for dinner with us sometime" I suggested but my words had no affect.

Her breaths were haggard and I watched her mouth try to form words but all that came out were soundless sobs. I watched her frustration as she pounded against the steering wheel and her feet collided against the mat.

These emotions seemed to peak and suddenly she stilled the space being filled with an eerie silence. I turned my head towards her nervously, anticipating another blow out. But she seemed composed.

"I'd like to go home now Brian" she announced her voice strong despite the slight crackle of emotion.

"Kay" I nodded glad for some reaction.

"Okay" she agreed moving to place the car in gear.

* * *

The whole house seemed quiet, eerily so. I walked Erin to the door for the first time in a while and no one greeted us there.

"Anyone in?" I asked as she fumbled to open the door her grip slipping every time she reached for it.

Her shoulders hunched as she looked clueless for a moment. I got in that moment that it didn't particularly matter if anyone was, she would still feel alone.

"About today" I tried but her face was already clouding with emotions again, the porcelain of her skin seeming to shatter. "Never mind. I'll see you next week then" I nodded straightening my shirt and running a hand through my receding hair. I swear she'd send me grey by the time we were through with each other.

I left her at the porch and it was a good four lessons later when I heard the news. That Erin's sinking feeling hadn't quite been as fanciful as I had assumed.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hello readers, apologies for my rather long absence I've been delaying putting up this chapter because of the memories it brings back to me. As you know this story is influenced by true events in terms of Erin's driving experience and this chapter is almost full fact and the one following. So I was a little bit emotional about it all, but I hope you thought it was okay and I will update soon with Erin's POV to give you the answers you are all wanting!**

 **beautifullylavender Thanks for the follow!**

 **JellyLove01 Thank you for following my profile!**


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

 _Erin Purser_

For a moment my eyes cast away from Brian and I could have sworn I'd just seen Jacob Black. My peripheral vision caught a blur and goosebumps rose up my arms as I did a double take hardly listening to the words tumbling from Brian's mouth. My hand slipped against the door handle again as I blindly tried to get into the house my efforts lazy.

By the time I refocused my gaze the door was open as I was falling into the house and Brian was retreating away from me.

Noah was waiting to spring on me in the hallway his face clouded in annoyance at my tear stained cheeks and daydreaming state.

"Erin, you need to cut this out. Seriously. This is getting ridiculous. It's just driving for goodness sake you don't need to get so cut up about it" he bit and I flinched back from his words. It felt like everyone was shouting at me recently, Noah, Jacob, Paige.

I looked from Noah down to my feet finding them much easier to talk to.

"It just overwhelms me. I cant control it" I whispered.

"Well them maybe you should just stop it. Stop taking lessons" he shot coldly.

"I don't want that" I blubbered. "I don't want to give in" I added almost to myself.

"Well then try harder Erin, seriously" he warned.

I wanted to scream at him. To tell him I was trying my hardest. To tell him this wasn't as easy as it was for him. But all I could do was cast my gaze down and allow the tears to spill out dropping down onto my soft jumper.

Noah was never good with emotions. At least that's what my Mum always told me. Not that we got to see much of each other anymore. She pulled as many shifts as she could, and ran more jobs than I could keep track of. It was something to do with a crippling mortgage and debts. I didn't really pay much interest in it all. I just wanted to be out of this place. My Father only came home for the holidays, or if something was really wrong. Well he came home in between hauls but it was usually during the night and I never felt the desire to get up and see him. We were never really close. Maybe that's why I was always so desperate for the attention of a male when I was growing up, perhaps I wanted to look up to Quil, Embry and Jake. Perhaps I wanted to understand what men were like.

From what I'd seen from Paige they were predators who left you high and dry.

A crash distributed my thoughts and I recoiled first slamming myself up against the wall the sound sending me into fight or flight as my lungs filled with oxygen. Noah looked to me for a second his response much slower and then to the ceiling above us.

My heart thumped and I drew my breath through my teeth.

Noah called out upstairs, footsteps shuffled about and then a wail. A bloodcurdling scream had me crouched down covering my head.

"Noah!" Paige managed to choke her voice painfully high-pitched. "Noah get an ambulance. It's Grandad" she wailed and I knew.

I'd known.

I knew.

He was gone.

He'd died.

I was underwater. I was drowning. I kicked out trying to break through the surface but waves were rolling over me and denial through me about like a toy. Then I felt the crushing weight of grief finally pull me down, tugging me to the bottom.

* * *

I was only a child when I was first diagnosed, on some strange cusp between childhood and adolescence.

It wasn't unexpected for my Mother, she had always claimed I was different from the twins and I was. I had tendencies that most children didn't have, I was clinical in my hygiene and was easily led. Noah would have to check under my bed every night for monsters and I would never let Paige braid my hair.

But things changed a lot. Things changed a lot when Sam Uley came into my life, when he took away my friends. There had been rumours for a long time, they still go on now. Everyone knew strange things happened to certain boys who went off ill but came back to school like they'd been body-swapped.

I wasn't to young to forget it. Jacob, Quil, Embry, they all just … disappeared. They slipped away one by one. I never saw to much of Jacob even back then. He'd become mixed up with Bella Swan and rumour had it they were dating.

It had erupted something in me I couldn't understand. It hurt me. Perhaps I felt betrayed, or perhaps I was jealous, jealous that Jacob was so willing to spend his time with someone else.

Anyway the boys went and they came back with rumours of illness, gangs and drugs clouding them. Noah told me to stay away from them at first, but they never came for me. Not at first anyway.

Quil turned up out of the blue. He seemed panicked, worried like he'd seen a ghost. He kept asking me these questions over and over, about Jacob about where he was and what he'd done. I didn't understand. I couldn't ever fully understand.

But then, waiting out on the porch steps in the rain with Quil shaking beside me he appeared. Jacob was different, he was taller, stronger, meaner perhaps? I don't know but something had changed inside of him and it made me nervous.

That's when I had my first panic attack. Jacob had begun stalking towards me, he was snarling. And then, then Quil was snarling back and I just remember screaming, I screamed and I screamed.

I was taken to the hospital, they sedated me for a while. I don't remember what happened next, but Paige had tormented me with it for months after. I kept speaking of Wolves, of Tribe Legends and of giant men. I was of course delirious, confused perhaps but I was so sure of it. So they gave me more drugs, stronger suppressants and told me I was imagining things. I was just a little girl with a big imagination.

Things only deteriorated. They sent me home but I couldn't sleep, I wouldn't eat, I was restless, I began to walk out in the night. I would wonder for hours in the woods looking for someone, looking for something. But I never found it. I would lie awake at night and think of Wolves, of howling creatures and the tearing of clothes and the flurry of snarls.

My Grandparents moved in, and my Father began taking more shifts away. Mother pulled longer hours and Paige was hardly seen, kept out of my sight.

I started having more panic attacks, everything became a risk after a while and in the end I just stayed inside. Then they sent me away. I went to a treatment facility. They sent me away to get better. And in some ways I did, I was better, just not quite right.

I survived rather than lived. I walked through life just about functioning with this piece of me missing, with this absence filling me, a void. I tosseled about with my medication, I went from high dependency to none, I went from coping to being desperate. I took up yoga, I went to see a therapist, I became Vegan, I took up running. I tried everything to fill that hole but nothing ever did.

And then, one day, he came back and nothing in my life had been the same again. My anxiety increased, I became emotional, confused and uncertain of everything. I was muddling through.

Then my Grandad died and I felt like my chest had been ripped open.

I realised that life was not a guarantee, it was never a promise but a gift each day.

It showed that I hadn't really lived for a very long time.

* * *

 **Authors Note: This was quite a hard chapter to have to post for me as it brought back so, so many memories from when my own Grandad died while I was on a driving lesson and how I could just sense this feeling of loss within me before I'd even been told the news.**

 **Anyhow on a lighter note I hope you enjoyed some more background on Erin in this chapter and why she has gotten herself to the point she's at today! The next chapter we have the KISS, which is something to look forward to. Thanks for your continued support, please leave me a review with your thoughts and any questions.**

 **Thank you BrookeWorm3 for another kind review! Yes I think it was all very overwhelming for Erin, I'm afraid things just didn't get much better in this chapter.**

 **Noa (Guest) thanks for leaving a thoughtful review, you have a good point here. So by my calculations (which are a bit rough so they could be wrong) in New Moon when Jacob would have imprinted on Erin she would have been Eleven years old and he Sixteen.**

 **At present where the story is at the moment Erin is Seventeen Years old. Jacob is Twenty-Two, although as he is still shifting his ageing is slowed.**

 **I love damon Salvatore girl thank you for the follow on the story.**

 **Clarinetgoddness62 thank you for following my profile!**

 **Kuroppoi Kitsune thanks for the follow on Hair Pin Curve**


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

 _Jacob Black_

I sat back in the kitchen on a uneven chair looking forwards, keeping my eyes on the wall. Emily had extended an invitation for dinner but my appetite seemed distant and the slight hostility that remained in the house had me on constant edge.

I wanted to hit something. Paul seemed like an easy target, one no one could deny deserved a good clout.

But I wasn't in charge here. This was Emily's house and Sam would make sure I'd show some respect.

I couldn't keep my thoughts from Erin. She'd not been out of the house in two weeks. I only knew that from watching her. She was trapped in a bubble of sleep and Noah had mentioned she was sleepwalking through life in a drug induced state. I could only imagine what that must mean.

"Maybe you could bring Erin to a tribes meeting, or here, for dinner … it might take her mind off things" Emily's suggestion pulled my eyes from the wall which I was glaring a hole into.

"I can just imagine how that'd turn out" Quil laughed.

"Yeah, she wouldn't be able to eat anything you'd cook and the tribe would just send her into complete paranoia" Embry confirmed and I adjusted my burning stare to them.

"You bastards" I snarled pushing my chair back and clenching my fists ready to pummel them.

"Jacob" Emily warned. "Please, sit down and eat something. Tomorrow go and see her" Emily suggested and I sank back down to the chair to frustrated to argue.

"What's he gonna say. Hi Erin I've been stalking you since I got back into town. I'm a Wolf oh yeah and I've also been in love with you since you were a teenager" Jared cut in trying to bring me back to reality.

"Who said romance was dead" Seth teased and my jaw set tense.

"No. Your going to go and see her. And your going to sit with her, maybe hold her, listen to her, console her. Calm her" Emily corrected and the room feel silent in ore of her words.

* * *

I approached the house with some caution. I'd waited until I knew Erin would be home alone. It was selfish of me really but I was desperate to be with her and this seemed like the best shot I had.

My fingers were eager to twist the handle and barge in but I didn't want to scare her. Instead I hammered on the door hoping to alert her to my presence.

Noah was out at the garage, Paige was staying away with friends, her Mother was at work and Grandmother had been hospitalised. So Erin was alone at least.

The curtain twitched in the living room and I caught sight of her through the window. I could see the outline of her bare back as she pulled a shirt on and I wondered what I'd caught her doing. For a moment I tensed picturing her bare and exposed in front of someone. But reality drew me back to the fact that she'd proberley just woken up from a nap. Either thought had my mouth feeling dry.

I waited a further minute before she was at the door and out of it before I could even utter a word to her. She walked barefoot and for the first time I noticed her tattooed feet. I raised my eyes in surprise as the floral scrolls which danced over the top of her feet and curled up her ankles. A toe ring sat on her right foot and above it an anklet that matched her necklace, both made of a special stone.

She seemed unfazed by the cold and I was surprised by her appearance. Her hair had been cut, it looked to be a little uneven so I sensed it was her own doing but it suited her as it feel to her shoulders. She wore a shirt of Noah's I could smell his scent on it and her sweats sat above her knees. Even as she walked across the lawn her hands clenched and unclenched in apprehension as she walked towards the car.

I paused looking back towards the house for a second as she climbed into the passengers side. Her eyes looked shaded in underneath with grey, so dark it could be mistaken for makeup rather than blemish and her freckles were bursting in colour over the drawn skin.

My feet were following her before I considered the consequences and I walked towards the car in a dream like state in some disbelief that this was actually happening.

"Quil assures me you're a safe driver" Erin quipped as I ducked down to climb into the old car careful not to knock my head.

"The safest" I agreed with a grin and she looked over at me in distaste.

"Do you not own you know, a shirt?" She questioned unpicking the thread of her t- shirts hem and wrapping it so tightly around her fingers she cut off circulation.

"You don't like the view Purser" I teased and thought for a moment from her crimson blush I'd gone to far. Her heart was echoing in my ears and the way she shifted her thighs I could tell she was certainly enjoying something.

"Imagine if I walked around half naked all day huh, imagine sitting next to me like that" she protested and I licked my lips imaging exactly how much I'd enjoy that.

"Your meant to tell me your sorry for my loss" she told me suddenly breaking into my thoughts and she passed the keys over. "Your supposed to tell me things will get easier in time, that I wont feel this way forever, that … your supposed to tell me that life goes on" she accused her voice shrill over the engine which I was relieved had started.

I looked over my shoulder as I pulled of the grass and onto the road presuming she wanted me to drive. Her body seemed to relax against the car seat as she breathed in through her nose, I knew she was inhaling my scent, getting lost in it and it made me want to close the distance between us.

"I'm not like the others" I corrected and she looked panicked for a second before her expression glazed over into nothingness.

"But I am sorry you have to feel this way, I wish I could take your pain away, I wish I could take you away from all this" I mumbled brushing against her leg as I changed gear.

"Just being here is enough" she whispered closing her eyes as her face continued to blush a lovely rose shade and I watched her from the corner of my eye.

* * *

I drove for an hour before we spoke again and she didn't for a moment question where we were going and in truth I didn't know myself. We were hopelessly lost by the time I pulled up on a lane and let the engine idle as I took the sight of her in hopelessly lost in her presence.

"I'm sorry for being so rude. Sometimes, well when I'm around you I just blurt out what I think. You make me nervous. You make me frank" she admitted casting her stare down and reaching for the door handle. The cold air flooded the car and she clambered from the car pulling at her hair as the icy wind hit her. I followed her without pause coming around the car front to stand beside her.

"I hate that you keep apologising for everything Erin, you don't have to be like that" I tried to assure but she looked tense. "For once I want you to say exactly what you want. Right now Purser. Tell me exactly what you want!" I demanded seizing hold of her and turning her into me.

"Look at me Purser!" I commanded my voice stern as my hands jerked her towards me and her breath quickened.

"I, want you, to … love me" she asked hopefully and I felt the tension between us finally crumble as her guard dropped away and she stood finally bare to me.

I looked at her for a moment desperate for her to repeat her words as my eyes searched hers again.

"Love me?" She asked again the tears stinging against the corner of her eyes. "Love me, love me for who I am?" She sighed and the tear slipped out down her cheek and before I could stop myself I was kissing it away, then fell another and I caught it, licking it from her skin.

Then I was kissing her jaw, then her neck and finally her plump lips.

Sam was waiting for me the moment I shifted into Wolf form and looked about ready to hand my ass to me and I suspected I needed it.

He lunged at me and I darted to the side trying to avoid his attack but he came at me again and this time I let him.

I let him because what I had done was wrong.

I'd kissed Erin when she was vulnerable. I'd kissed her because she had asked me to. And I set her off into a agonising panic attack that lasted close to an hour. Erin didn't understand her feelings anymore than I was able to deal with them. Me kissing her had just made everything in her life so much worse.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hello guys, I hope you enjoyed the update!**

 **For those of you who like The Mortal Instruments series I have a fanfiction based on this called The Boy Who Stole My First Kiss, please check it out.**

 **I'd LOVE to hear what you thought about this chapter and their first kiss together!**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you for leaving me another review, it's very kind of you! She's certainly overwhelmed by things at the moment. Yes, I agree that Erin's emotions is certainly something a lot of people can relate to with their own experiences of anxiety. Yes I think that her friends are going to have to draw together to try and support her now more than ever.**

 **Noa (guest) thank you for getting back to me with another review.**

 **I understand that not all people are comfortable with the age gap between Erin and Jacob. Erin is soon to be eighteen and I felt when I set out on the course of this book that Erin would always need to be with someone with some life experience. A person who was mature enough to deal with her emotions. Even be it if Jacob isn't being particularly receptive to them at the moment. I know a lot of people are feeling he's being a jerk, but he is fighting a lot of different emotions at the moment, the Imprint, dealing with his family, the Cullens and the rejection from the Pack and Tribe.**

 **I'm hoping that Jacob is going to become better with Erin that he will get his shit together so he can help her better.**

 **I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and the more background on her. Yes her anxiety has influenced the way I've written as she is quite irrational and erratic.**

 **Yes Erin is definitely isolated in her condition, she's never really fitted in with her family and although Noah loves her he doesn't know quite how to help her. As for Jacob she feels like he's the only person who can understand and fully accept her, but even this scares her.**

 **I'm use to having criticism so it's fine, I try and take it all onboard. Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!x**

 **Dalejrchick2006 thank you so much for the follow on the story and the favourite.**

 **Romanesca1 thanks for the favourite on my story!**

 **Elizabeth Tipton thank you for following the story.**


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

 _Erin Purser_

Sally nudged me and I stirred suddenly realising I was back in the canteen and not in fact at home in bed where I'd like to have been. I was day dreaming about Jacob Black, about he lean muscle that rippled over him, about his dark eyes and hard lips that had ran over my skin. I had been entranced by him, until I blew it all by having a fit at the realisation I was being kissed.

"Erin, Erin" she slapped my arm again harder still and I jerked upright and followed her eye line. I ducked my head, instantly sinking down in the chair.

Jacob Black was striding across the canteen towards where Brady and Colin sat on the table beside us.

Sally was practically swooning and I hissed my horror at her. "Have they no respect. Who the hell let him in?" I whimpered horrified that he was now lording himself around here as well.

"Im not complaining" she shrugged folding the school newspaper in half and pushing it to the side as if she was embarrassed she read it.

Sally looked me up and down slowly her stare showing clear disappointed that I couldn't have made more of an effort.

I looked to the newspaper scornfully. My first piece since the sudden death had been difficult and at first I had toyed with a obituary style entrance. But after my encounter with Jacob Black I felt the need to lash out.

I had labelled the piece **TO THE OBNOXIOUS JERKS WHO ROAM LA PUSH SHIRTLESS** and the script had pretty much followed through on it's man bashing label. It was mean even by my standards as I ranted about all the reasons why it was wrong.

My cruel words had extended to shame the 'steroid pumped' boys who roamed the corridors almost explicitly calling out Brady and Collin who hadn't spoken to me since.

I had been a bitch. A complete and utter bitch and even looking at the newspaper had my breath catching.

Every where I went was a constant reminder of it, they were still printing copies to try and keep up with the sudden spurge in demand as I had spewed of a range of theories about why a small amount of the La Push population disappeared for weeks to return suddenly looking like they'd been to fitness boot camp or something.

My theories excited people. Drew out people's suspicion and the chatter of it seemed to follow me anywhere I went. Even my Mother had mentioned over dinner that my article had gathered some local interest with the Elders and I'd chocked on my dinner it taking Noah's firm slap on the back to be able to breathe again.

Brady and Collin where being filled with constant stares and Sally suggested I do a counter article called **TO THE FREAK** which would address peoples theories about me. That had me in a sobbing wreck for the entire of Algebra and she'd promised not to mention it again.

Jacob was in quick converse with his friends and I buried my head in my hands trying to contemplate how things had jumped over to this. I felt like I'd barely buried my Granddad and my world was falling down again.

Sally began to mutter curses under her breath and was poking me in a frenzy muttering about Jacobs approach.

I didn't look up. Not until his hands slammed down against the table and I fell backward, Sally snatching me upright to stop me falling out of my seat. Sally sat taller squaring herself up against Jacob but I hunched, ashamed, embarrassed and confused.

I felt I'd crossed a line with what I'd wrote. I'd taken my hurt out on Jacob and his friends. I'd been wrong. I'd been childish. I wanted to hurt Jacob the way it hurt me just to be alive, just to have to interact with him.

"I was wrong to kiss you Erin. I was wrong to play with your emotions, to take advantage of you. But this" he chucked the article to me from across the table and I whimpered. "This is disgusting. You were reckless, you don't understand the repercussions of what you have done" he seethed and I kept my gaze down as I began to draw out shallow breaths.

"Back off Jacob. It was just a stupid article" Sally scoffed and a deep growl rang from the back of Jacob's throat.

"Stay out of this Sally. This is between me and Purser" Jacob warned pacing around the table and pulling me upright. He was hissing at me in his quiluete tongue and I cringed imagining the awful things he was speaking of. Sally was shouting back at him just an angrily in the native tongue and the words were lost between me.

He grabbed at my shoulders and jerked me for a moment as I closed my eyes and tried to suppress the hysteria. Collin was approaching us and Jacob dropped his hands from me.

"You were a bitch Erin" he struck out and I allowed my mouth to drop open for a moment in surprise at his words. But Sally reacted before I could reply to him and I ducked back as her fist sailed past me and collided with Jacobs nose with such a force I could hear the cracking of bones.

* * *

I'd spent an hour in school waiting for Noah to come and pick me up. Sally had been suspended and I'd been put onto report. Noah was to angry to even speak to me and my Mother could hardly met my gaze.

"Erin" Mum warned as my hand hovered over the door knob. "Don't do this honey" she pleaded her voice tiered and filled with stress.

"Just let me run this off Mum, please" I explained twisting the knob and letting the cool air fill the small space.

"You cant keep running away for your problems. Erin, for goodness sake if you'd just take your sleeping pills" she puffed in frustration shaking her head back and forth.

"I don't want to take any drugs Mum, I'm okay" I lied and darted out the door slamming it closed behind me to deter her pursuit.

I was inexperienced with my knowledge of running and took my stride wide and quick. I thought perhaps I could outrun myself.

My running was escalating to almost nightly escapades and Sally suggested I go for track at school but the idea terrified me. Running was part of my denial that surrounded the grief I held on to.

It was terrifying to see the world moving on around you while you remained unable to fully understand what had happened. I wanted to hit the pause button, I wanted to get off the ride, I wanted to buffer but none of that was possible. Life went on. People moved on. But here I remained, drowning in sadness.

The heat was building in me with every stride I took heading from the pavement to the tree line. I began to cry again, the tears stinging my face as my limbs flexed the lycra clothes. I remembered the anger in Jacob's face, his threatening stance as he condemned what I'd said in the article. I clenched and unclenched my hands as I ran, conjuring up the painful images. I remembered his touch then, heavy, dominant, an alpha male as he kissed me, demanded my attention.

He called me reckless. I'd show him reckless.

The headteacher was running assemblies this week warning about the risk of Bears in the area, even Mountain Lions. No one went near the woods. No one but me, and those who hung around in Sam Uley's elite crew.

I veered deeper into the woodland now, leaving the edges as hurdled fallen branches running in the near darkness, the head torch bringing a smudge of light on the horizon. My breasts bounced freely with every stride and the clothing shaped around my lack of lingerie easily.

The water trickled along the brook as the ground slopped down to it. I slowed only slightly in the decent before striding through the water it sprinting up to splatter my bare legs bringing a delicious cooling sensation.

My footing was misjudged under the shingle and I twisted hurtling towards the dark water. I braced myself as my knees took the force of the fall calling a cry of pain as I caught myself on my hands which sliced under the bedrock.

I whimpered weakly for a minute trying to even my heartbeats as my palms burned uncomfortably.

A twig snapped and a presence moving through the water had me crawling backwards. The water began to soak into my shorts forcing them closer to my skin. I fumbled in the darkness as the torch had slumped down for my head and landed in the brook. My hand moved on instinct to my waist pouch and I clasped around the small can popping the button open to release as the shadowy creature neared me.

With a scream of terror and my heart pounding in my ears I hit down on the button sending out a sheen of Pepper Spray which engulfed us both. I began to choke on the spray my eyes burning as the attacker advanced.

I heard a hand hit the water and it splashed about retrieving the head torch before the attacker twisted it back on himself. I hissed in annoyance as Jacob Black came into view from my slotted eyes. He palmed at his face, shook his head like a giant dog and then produced a triumphant smirk not even pretending to be phased by the spray which should have dropped him.

"What are you?" I accused pushing myself up and taking a weary step back my mind screaming in warning. I was alone, in the woods, with Jacob Black.

He looked taken aback for a moment as if my accusation had genuinely shocked him.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" he laughed but it was tense and fake.

"Your right, I wouldn't" I agreed smearing my bleeding hands against my pants.

His eyes dragged over my body lingering on my vulnerable parts which the damp clothing was clinging to, leaving nothing to the imagination. I wanted to turn away, cover myself up, but something about his dark stare kept my feet centred and I felt a momentary confidence

"Are you trying to prove a point to me, or just hurt me?" He accused his words hot.

"How could I hurt you? You don't care about me!" I accused and his body tensed with the accusation. I quietened realising my confidence was unbecoming. But being around Jacob, it drew out the parts of me I suppressed. Such was the heat which was rising over me as I took in his bare chest, toned to perfection. Sally would certainly consider it drool worthy.

"Sorry" I apologised feeling the pang of guilt already. If I knew anything, I knew that Jacob Black cared about me, even if I didn't understand why.

"I care about you Erin, very much … you know that don't you. You're the most important person in my life. I, Erin I …" he broke of shaking his head as if he couldn't say the words.

"Erin I shouldn't have called you reckless. Your not. I was just angry. In fact your about as far away from reckless as you can get. You should do more things like this, you need to challenge yourself. What I said about your article in the paper, it was wrong okay. I was a jerk. You shouldn't stop writing because of me. I don't think you're a bitch" Jacob stepped closer as he spoke seizing my arms forcing me to make eye contact.

"Are you crying?" He asked dropping my arms and stepping back cautiously.

"It's the spray" I whimpered feeling the burning continue to engulf my face.

He cursed so loudly I jumped back from him which didn't go unnoticed as he reckoned the distance between us. I watched my heart pounding as he reached out to touch me again but I flinched away from his hand.

"I'm not going to hurt you Erin" he sighed.

A silence sat between us for a moment as I considered the comment. "I know, I'm sorry, it's just … reflexes I guess, a defence mechanism, fight or flight" I laughed tightly.

"Can you stop saying sorry" he laughed.

"Sorry" I repeated an he shook his head in disbelief and I began wringing my hands.

"You are endlessly frustrating" he admitted reaching up to push a hair behind my ear and I bowed my head embarrassed at the flush which overcame my skin under his warm touch. "It's very attractive" he added and I gasped in surprise as his fingers stroked my neck.

"We cant do this again. You cant do that to me. Your Noah's friend, your to old for me" I defended stumbling as I baked away for him.

He smiled as if the words were amusing and it snapped something within me.

"Don't you laugh at me! Don't you smirk, this isn't funny Jacob. This is my life, these are my emotions you are messing around with. Why couldn't you just leave me alone. Why did you have to follow me out here?" I accused my words fully of anger as I thrashed out at him before breaking into a extended silence.

I looked at the water unable to meet his hurt eyes and trying to fathom some sort of sentence seemed impossible.

"I'm in love with you, okay?" He demanded.

"You're what!" I shrieked.

"I am in love with you Erin. There are things, so, so many thing I need to tell you. But right now all you need to know is that I love you" he reaffirmed.

"No. You can't love me. You don't get it Jacob. People don't fall in love with me. I am not the loveable type. You feel sorry for me, you feel guilty, you want to fix me, your doing what I asked you to … but you, do, not, love, me!" My voice was shrill as I jabbed my finger into his chest.

"So what if I feel sorry for you Erin. So what if I want to help you. That doesn't mean I don't love you. That doesn't mean that when I'm around you my heart doesn't race, it doesn't mean that my words get all jumbled up and I come off as a jerk, it doesn't mean my body doesn't yearn for you. I doesn't mean I don't find you sexy, or I think your beautiful when you are concentrating so hard, it doesn't mean I don't think you're the bravest person I've ever met because you hold it all together when you should just break in two. I love you" Jacob explained taking my jabbing finger and pulling my palm to his chest.

"I'm going to hurt you" I gushed.

"Good, because I'm going go hurt you to" he shrugged flipped it off.

"You might not be able to make me better. Not really" I noted.

"We both have things that are different, we both have parts of us neither truly understand. I have my secrets too Purser" he explained.

"I have a list. And my list is extensive. It grows all the time. But there are somethings on there I swear I'd never do Jake. I have to overcome that. I wont be able to do things like other girls" I whispered but his face looked lost in misunderstanding.

"I'm not some easy fuck" I rephrased the words feeling dirty in my mouth as he recoiled.

"Trust me I know" he laughed at my body tensed up at his tone. I felt my breathing catch again and I stared to back away from Jacob before the tingling became to intense. Then I began to run because my breaths were sharp and my heart was racing.

I could hear footfall behind me and I ran faster stumbling over tree roots as the heat consumed my body with anxiety taking control.

The tree appeared from nowhere and my foot kicked against it before a hand jerked me away from making fully impact. We twisted, legs interlocked, falling through the air for a moment before smacking into the dirt.

Jacobs weight was pressing me into the ground I pushed at his chest until he propped himself up, feeling breathless and a blush tainting my cheeks.

"You cant outrun me Purser" he admitted rubbing the dirt from my face with his hand.

"That doesn't mean I wont try" I shrugged sheepishly feeling my anxiety simmer away as I was sheltered beneath his body.

"I get the running you know. I get why you do it. To escape. But you can't outrun shit, not really. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm not use to being around … well I'm not use to having to be guarded with what I say. You get me so worked up something, and then you get this look in your eyes and I'm a gonna" he spoke brushing up against me causing my nerve endings to jump about.

"You are a complete jerk sometimes" I agreed before biting my lip reassigning what I said. "But then other times. Other time, I feel like you are the only thing sane. You ground me Black" I explained running my hands through his thick hair. "And I hate that".

* * *

 **AUTHORS NOTE:**

 **Thank you to everyone for your continued support. I'm nursing a hangeover from a wild night but re-reading this chapter cheered me up. I hope you all liked it, please leave me your thoughts.**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you for your continued loyal reviewing I look forward to hearing from you every time I update! Yes finally it feels like it's been long over due, but I'm a bit sorry it wasn't a little more juicy in the details but we have that to look forward to!**

 **Sam was not a happy bunny.**

 **Erin did ask for it like you said and Jake's only trying to do what he thinks will make her happy. Yes I think there will be continued backlash when he goes to see the Cullens.**

 **Flute1516 thank you for following the story!**

 **Slytheringirl (guest reviewer) thank you for leaving me such a sweet review! I always read my reviews, I love getting them it inspires me to keep writing by knowing that people out there all over the world are getting to read my work! I am so glad your enjoying the story, that's so sweet. I hope you enjoyed this update, please have a look at my profile and see my two other Fanfictions which you might also enjoy.**

 **Hrpuffanstuff thank you for the favourite and follow on the story!**


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

 _Brian Albe_

Erin was sat up on the porch step when I pulled up in front of her house. Her elbows rested on her knees and the head of a tanned man rested in her lap. I didn't recognise it as Jacob so figured it must be one of his friends. I watched her for a moment before I climbed from the car.

This was what Erin looked like normally. Her posture was relaxed and she seemed unconscious of herself for a moment. She wore her hair in a long plate which pulled it back from her face and emphasised her eyes. I was almost certain her bloodline was questionable.

I caught her gaze as I moved from the car fiddling with a cigarette as I walked up the lawn towards her.

The man turned his head at her sudden shift in posture and began to sit upright and I watched uncomfortably as her nails clenched into the skin of her face leaving sharp marks when she released her fingers.

I wanted to scold her but it would have seemed strange instead I glared at her as I lit up.

"Nice day for it" I noted looking up at the clear sky which came from the mornings frost which had been the worst of the season.

"I suppose" she shrugged keeping conversation to a minimal and the man beside her spoke up for her.

"Erin would be happy at the North Pole I think. It'd match her personality" the man joked and she shot him death glare.

"Cold and bleak" she confirmed. "And on that note, shall we get this over with. Quil are you still okay to take me over to see Claire with you to give her the presents I brought?" She questioned her voice gentle as she stood and brushed some imaginary dirt from her skirt.

It was denim and sat high on her waist dropping to her knees with a floral blouse tucked in to it which hinted that she was going somewhere important.

"I'll be here. Sleeping" he noted leaning back against the railing and she nodded in confirmation.

* * *

I shifted again feeling uncomfortable with the need to speak to Erin who was shutting down conversation like a ninja.

"The funeral, was it … difficult?" I asked again, my first mention of it had been ignored completely.

"Yes, it was a funeral Brian" she hissed as it shut me up on the topic which I think was what she'd been hoping for.

We drove for another ten minutes and I flinched as she crunched down the gears and revved the engine.

"I get it okay Erin, you lost you Grandad and right now you just want to scream screw the world. I know okay. I know it's not fair. I know it's fucking crap! But you can't just not talk about it. You cant keep it all in" I gasped in frustration turning to look at her desperate for some response but she remained looking dead ahead.

"I took your advice. Over Jacob. I'm going out with him later" she noted turning to look at me as if she'd achieved something massive, and I suppose for her she had.

"Are you telling me this because I need to call the cops if you don't return in the next few hours, or because your happy?" I teased and she remained tense as she tried to analyse what I meant.

"We're going to be friends. I've decided" she stated quickly and I couldn't control my own laughter at her frankness.

"Have you told Jacob that?" I furthered and she looked blankly ahead but I could sense her taking the time to consider an appropriate answer.

"I don't particularly care" she shrugged "what Jacob Black has to say about it. We're friends now" she added.

I glared at her again and she pulled up the handbrake grating it up the notches as she failed to push in the release button. The girl would reck the car before she passed her test in it at this rate.

"He said stuff to me. He told me, he told me I was beautiful and that I was sexy" she added and the car horn sounded behind us as she stalled flustered at the need to move off. I thought I'd lost her then but she kept it together and within a minute she returned to the conversation her voice smooth.

"But I don't care if people think I'm beautiful, and hell I don't even know what it means to look sexy. None of that mattered. Because he called me brave Brian. Jacob Black told me that I was brave and that he loved me. He makes me feel brave, he makes me feel like I can move mountains sometimes. That scares me you know. That feeling" she explained gripping the steering wheel.

"Love does that. It scares you. If it doesn't then you haven't got it right" I smiled and she turned to look at me flustered and her face and arms coming out in red splotches.

"I love him then?" She asked and I chuckled lightly.

"Hey, you tell me" I laughed and she frowned again her eyebrows drawing together.

"I guess I just wanted someone to love me for who I am. I never really thought much about having to reciprocate it" she shrugged like it was nothing, as if falling in love with someone was only a minor detail of a relationship.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Sorry a bit of a short chapter I'm afraid, but I can't wait to update with the next one! It's cold and raining at the moment and I've the heating on full blast and tucked up on the sofa writting and listening to music. Leave me some reviews and I might update tomorrow for you! And my lovelies I have been keeping my cards pretty close to my chest over a Quil POV chapter but I've had one waiting to spring on you all for a while and it will be coming super soon.**

 **Brookeworm3 thanks for another review! I know she's stupid, trust me if Jacob said what to me I'd jump him! Glad you enjoyed it though. I know they do need to just get themselves together there all over the place! They will soon I promise. Thanks again for a delightful review!**

 **Thank you to the Guest reviewer I'm glad your enjoying the story and I hope you liked the update!**

 **Errendelle thank you for leaving me a review. Glad you enjoyed the chapter, I hope you keep reading as there is LOTS more Jacob and Erin to come.**

 **4plywhenicry thanks for the follow on the story.**

 **Itsjustjas Thank you for the follow and the favourite on the story!**

 **Shadow Ravon Thanks for following my profile.**

 **Emmetts Girls Thanks for the favourite and the follow on my profile I hope you have a look through all my stories!**

 **Noa (Guest) thank you for leaving me a lovely review! Hey you don't need to appologise I appreicate all reviews - especially when people take the time to think about what they want to say and the plot of the story. Trust me it could have been a lot worse, I've had some really mean ones in the past on my other story. I understand things always sound different when your trying to write rather than verbally speak and it's easy for things to be taken out of context. But I've put this up here to be critiqued and for people to enjoy so I expect all sorts of feedback and appreicate it.**

 **Okay well I'm glad I've cleared things up a little for you. I have definitely got some Cullen/Jacob/Erin sciences planned for the future some of which might involve some unplanned encounters! Yes I think it's going to be something that will take a lot of processing from her, she is very thoughtful and will dwell on things for a long time as she tries to process them. I will have to keep a little mystery around the Cullen's though as I have to keep you all inteset until I get to that point in the story ;)**

 **I'm glad you've enjoyed the last two and I've got some more romantic scences coming I promise!**

 **Yes the Pack definitely consider Erin one of there own but this isnt always something that works out well as you will see in the future chapters. I think the Pack are in a difficult place torn between Erin and Jacob's disloyalty to them. I've answered the chapter off Quil's above. Although I was initially reluctant to do a multiple POV story it just grew. It was only supposed to be Erin and Brian, but it's expanded to Jacob and no we have a one off from Quil to come. I love Quil's position stuck between his two best friends - how do you chose between them?**

 **I'm glad you can see the relationship starting to form I know it's been a bit of a slow burn between them but things are really starting to go somewhere. I agree they both need some happiness in their lives! I'm glad you like her personality, I always try to make my characters feel as real as possible and I think her anxiety has something so many people can share in. Anxiety comes in all levels and for some can just be everyday activities. Like my example from today was going into town, I'd been worrying about it for ages before I went in, it's like the irrational paranoia. I know there's nothing scary about going shopping and when I was there I was fine but it really worried me getting there. That's what I like about Erin, she's so relatable. We all have points in are life where we feel alone, isolated, depressed or nervous.**

 **Thank you so much for all your praise and kind words. Yes wherever you are in the world I hope you enjoy your weekend too!xx**


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

 _Erin Purser_

Brian dropped me off on the outskirts of La Push and I trudged back to the house the walk allowing at least for my head to clear a little before I faced whoever may be home. The house always seemed empty nowadays.

I knew Paige was avoiding us all, she'd taken it the hardest I think. Finding the body couldn't have been easy even for someone as strong willed as her. They were always talking about moving my Grandmother into a home and in truth I think it meant Paige had lost her purpose. She spent her time in the garage 'balancing the books' she called it but it seemed more like shuffling papers around to me.

I hardly saw my Mother and my Father only dropped in for the funeral before he left again. Quil seemed like the closets thing I had to family at the moment. I picked up my pace at that thought eager to meet him and tell him about my somewhat successful lesson.

My disappoint was evident upon my return to find someone who certainly wasn't Quil sat up on my porch steps looking like sin.

"Where's Quil?" I demanded scowling at him as I toed at the dirt.

"He had something to do, Tribe stuff. I thought I'd come and keep you company" he shrugged standing up so he stretched above me and I kept my eyes grounded into the floor as I tried to conceal my blush. "I know I'm early" he added in what was proberley some sort of apology but I didn't accept it.

"I need to get changed" I shrugged stepping forwards towards the house.

"You look fine, honestly Erin. Please. Lets just get out of here" he pleaded and I met his gaze.

"Have you been fighting?" I demanded looking at the shading around his eye and noticing the split to his lip which was already crusting over.

"It's nothing" he shrugged.

"I'm getting changed Black, you can wait outside" I snapped back and slammed the door with enthusiasm and leant back against it trying to breathe out my anxiousness.

"I thought we could go for a walk, and then well, I talked to Quil and I got Emily to make us some food. It thought we could have some food. Maybe we could trek out somewhere. I thought you might like it. If you don't we can do something else. Erin I can hear you, I know you standing against the door, please don't just ignore me" Jacob called through the door and I froze with uncertainty.

"You lie to me Jacob. You lie to me, and you keep secrets and, and that fucks me off!" I screeched pulling back the door and glaring across to him. "That really fucks me off" I repeated clenching my hands into fists as I tried to stop the tremor in my limbs.

"I fuck you off?" He questioned raising his eyebrows sceptically.

"Yes. You make me so angry! I just want to scream at you sometimes, I ask you a question and you either bite my head off or you just skirt around it. And sometimes, sometimes you look so dam smug. Like your laughing at me. Like your in on this secret and you think it's kinda funny that I don't get it. Sometimes I just want to slap you so hard …" I dropped of into a husk mid-rant and glared at him for a moment taken aback by my own unexpected outburst.

"I'm sorry, I guess" he shrugged scratching the back off his head.

I ducked my head down skirting against the worn wood of the deck as I tried to rationalise.

"Maybe you should go?" I questioned my voice hesitant.

"You want me to go?" He asked his voice rough with unexplained emotion.

I didn't respond, I kept staring at the deck trying to even out my breathing as my eyes burned. By the time I was composed enough to look up he'd gone.

My hands clenched and unclenched for a moment as my eyes scanned the street for signs of him but I drew a blank.

A deep ache filled my chest and I began to stomp down the steps. I strode down the lawn, until my strides turned into a jog and my jog became a sprint as I realised I'd pushed him away again.

I watched from a distance as soon as the house came into view but I sensed from the silence that suddenly fell on the porch that my presence was certainly known to the group. I banged my shoes against the pavement trying to knock off the dust which had collected over them during my run.

Subconsciously I was aware that Sally would be unimpressed by my current getup and even less impressed with what I was about to do. But Sally wasn't here right now. Neither was Noah, or Paige, or my Mother. No one was here to pass there judgment on my actions.

I walked at a teasingly slow pace trying to build myself up for my next move.

Quil looked cautious and his stare flicked between my body to Jacobs unable to settle. Embry however seemed ready to burst into a fit of laughter.

I ignored them both setting my uneasy gaze on Jacob.

I hated how he always looked so smug.

I hated how his shorts always sat so low on his hips.

I hated how his hair was always ruffled from running his hand through it.

I hated how he towered over me, his height dwarfing me.

I hated how he made me feel.

Paige always said my clothes flushed me out but I didn't listen to her. But now I wished I'd worn something brighter. Something to make me feel more confident.

"Erin, I thought you didn't want to be around me?" He demanded trying to smirk at me but it only enraged me further.

"Shut up! Just shut up okay, for once I want to speak and to have someone listen to me. I don't want to be interrupted" I warned my voice squeaky as I climbed up the porch steps towards him.

"Fine what do you want?" He questioned dropping down a step to meet me in the middle and I flexed my fingers out resisting the urge to clasp them together and sink to the ground.

"I want you to take me out. Like you said you would. I dare you" I asserted jabbing my finger into his chest.

"You dare me?" He laughed.

"I donkey-dare you to take me out Black" I assured.

"Okay" he nodded and I clenched my hands in surprise.

"Okay?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, okay" he shrugged and I bit down on my lip.

Embry groaned from the porch and Jacob took a menacing step towards him which abruptly cut him off.

"Play nicely you two" Quil warned flashing me a teasing smile.

"Maybe try not to be so blunt for a change" Embry suggested and I tensed under the scrutiny.

"Erin's fine just as she is" Jacob defended me and I looked at him daring him to explain himself but he shrugged his broad shoulders and began to walk down the drive side-stepping me.

Quil gave me the thumbs up, and Embry winked playfully before I turned and strode after Jacob.

* * *

 **Authors Note: thank you all for you continued support, I would so appreciate any reviews you may have. Have a lovely weekend.**

 **MACMONKEY thank you for the favourite on the story!**

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	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

 _Quil Altrea_

Erin would be upset with me, but I suspected that Claire would be worse. She seemed to worship the ground Erin walked on and it was one of the most natural relationships Erin had formed with anyone.

They'd come to know each other through me, and since then they'd always been around one another. I suppose peoples caution towards Erin kept Claire interested, and what was even more exciting was knowing she to was part of an imprint. They were connected by something Erin knew nothing about.

Claire's birthday celebration was going to be hosted by Emily and Sam but an invitation hadn't been extended to Erin, everyone was fearful of Jacob's reaction. Ever since Jacob had moved in with the Cullen's the tribe had remained distant from him, especially after the avoided war with the Volturi. Jacob was still seen as a danger, and his betrayal to the Pack was no secret.

I think Sam could never understand the distance Jacob had put between himself and Erin. People loathed Jacob for what he'd driven the girl to, and people were uneasy about what he had planned now he'd returned.

Sam feared for his alpha status.

The Tribe feared for there secrets.

And I feared for my two best friends.

I had let Jacob meet Erin at her house with his lure of a date on the cards between them. I shook my head at the thought of anything like that going well between them. But I could hear Jacob in the distance and within a minute he was storming through his front door and throwing himself down into the oversized armchair.

"What's happened?" I questioned scowling at him, looking for some sign of what had happened. His limbs draped out around him and he remained youthful.

"Erin happened!" He snapped muttering something like crazy and bitch under his breath.

"Well" I prompted crossing my arms to block his hostility.

"She hates me. She fucking hates me Quil" Jacob hissed his body shaking as his anger rose and his control weakened.

Jacob had never been the angry one, not before we became Shapeshifter's. But the Imprint made him angry, and suppressing it made him worse. He hated everything, he was so angry for so long and being around Bella only made it worse. He became infatuated with her, she was his scapegoat to deny his feelings for Erin. But by doing that he destroyed so much.

"She doesn't hate you. Well maybe she does a little. She doesn't trust you yet, she can sense your holding back and you are Jacob. Your lying to her" I shrugged.

"And your not!" He accused leaning forwards to through me a glare.

"It's not my choice. You think I want to. Do you know how screwed up it is that you get to chose, that the elders have it that you are the only one who can tell her. She's my best friend Jacob, I love her and you wont even fucking tell her what we are" I shouted back my voice equally as angry.

Jacobs shaking had been faster and I was sensing the Wolf in him breaking free. I kind of hoped he'd shift and destroy his perfect apartment, I hated everything about it. It was so false, so Cullen filled.

"I hate to break up the party dudes but Purser's on her way over" Embry announced and in my passion I hadn't even noted his entrance.

Jacob's convulsions stopped and he looked taken aback for a moment as he considered what this meant. A small smile spread over his face, and I realised he was beginning to calm himself. Even the mention of her name affected him.

"The Elders want you to bring Erin to the next meeting. They've said if your going to date with her, you need to introduce her to the Pack. Apparently Billy has requested it" Embry changed topic and Jacob tensed at the mention of the Elders and of course his Father.

"That's not a good idea" Jacob countered.

"You make it sound like it's a choice. You live on the reservation Jake, you're a Wolf, you belong to the Pack and you've returned to be with your Imprint. You really think that the Tribe aren't going to take some interest!" I demanded shaking my head at his ridiculousness.

"Erin is nothing to do with them, she's mine" Jacob seethed and I shook my head in disagreement.

"She's part of La Push Jacob, she has just as much right to be involved in her own history as you have. You cant keep her out of the loop for much longer, your going to have to tell her soon. Sooner rather than later" I stressed and Embry nodded in agreement while Jacob glared at us both in annoyance.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I hope you all like the update please leave me a review if you have the chance. Thanks again for yoru continued support.**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you so much for the review. I know it feels like it's been a long time coming. Yes your so right, finally Erin's had the courage to just come out with it! Glad you liked the chapter, hope you enjoyed this one from Quil's POV.**

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	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

 _Jacob Black_

I strode ahead of Erin unwilling to wait to see what other jibes my two friends would make in front of her, and uncertain of how well I'd be able to control myself around her. All it would take would be a lapse of focus and I could screw it all up.

Erin was terrified of me as a man, the idea of throwing a Wolf into the mix would be a fatal.

The motorbike was out the edge of the curb and I halted waiting for Purser to catch up and I could hear her uneven breathing as she came to stand beside me.

"What?" She demanded and I realized I'd been staring at her.

Her braided hair was coming lose and the pale pink of her sweats had been stained slightly by the dust from the road.

"Nothing" I scoffed pulling a coolness over my face as I straddled the bike and looked expectantly towards her.

I tried to read her body language and she seemed to instinctively stiffen as her eyes roamed over the bike. Her chest rose and fell in short crisp breaths and I could see a slight watering around her eyes. I continued to stare at her and she gnawed at her lip the uncertainty and suspicion raking through her.

Testing the water I straightened up beginning to climb back off the bike. "Knew you couldn't handle it" I muttered and her eyes flashed to me for a moment as her jaw set. I saw Noah flash up in her for a second as the stubborn determination kicked in.

"I was just checking it over" she shrugged moving forward she clutched my shoulder and pushed herself up on the stirrup coming to rest behind me on the motorbike.

"Hold on tight Princess" I teased starting the engine and giving it a teasing rev. Her hands fisted into my shirt and I relished at the proximity between us. I released the clutch and we were moving from the curb the warning words of Quil ringing in my ears.

I eased her into it listening to cues as her heart rate increased and her breathing heightened when I hit the gas a little to hard, and leant into the corners. Erin's grasp was tight and I could feel the wetness of her tears against my back. But I kept going, I drove on because it was something we both needed to accept. This relationship would force her to do things she didn't like, and it was my duty to carry us both through it. No matter how hard it felt.

Taking Erin out on a date seemed like the traditional thing to do in courtship but I somehow found all normal ideas to be riddled with problems. Or at least Quil and Embry helped to identify the flaws in my logic.

I'd crossed off at least ten different venues. Quil told me to take her out somewhere scenic, for a picnic. That's what he'd do. But Embry had suggested she'd hate the midget flies and would never sit on the grass.

It was the best idea I had so I went with it. But in my haste to leave the apartment I'd abandoned the food Quil had gotten Emily to prepare and the blanket I'd dug out of a box in the attic had been left in the house. And she was crying. I was clearly off to an excellent start.

The wind was picking up and Erin seemed to relax a little behind me, her body still ridged and shaking but I could feel her head moving in the breeze and I could just picture her braid loose and blowing out behind her.

We drove for what seemed like a lifetime, her body squashed up against mine, the intimacy making me feel strained but it couldn't have been more than another ten minutes before we reached the sight I had in mind.

It was of the beaten track and I took myself off here sometimes when I needed to be alone, or when I was trying to shift her from my thoughts. But Erin always seemed to haunt me.

The bike growled to a halt and I kicked down the stand sitting for a moment and relishing it before I moved to climb off. She followed with me, less agile as her legs seemed unsteady of the terrain. I reached for her but she stepped back smudging her palm over her face and turning her face away from me.

"You don't have to do that, you know" I shot stepping back towards her.

"I'm fine" she lied turning her head back to try and glare me down.

"You don't have to deny it Erin. It's just me" I corrected and she faltered her shoulders relaxing a little.

"I rode on a motorbike" she stated her voice slightly squeaky. "I just rode on a freaking motorbike" she repeated again shaking her head and turning it up towards the sky as if looking for answers.

"And you didn't end up like roadkill" I chipped in and she tensed.

"Where are we going?" She demanded and I smirked at her haste.

"What's the rush?" I questioned back taking the keys from the bikes ignition and leaning against it.

"Well lets see … we have about two hours until the sunsets, I have a curfew to be back for, a storms due to roll in tonight and not to mention the fact that we are out in the wilderness which brings with it a multitude of issues" she stated her face full of seriousness as I laughed at her.

"Is there anything you don't think through?" I asked smiling at her behavior.

"Well I clearly didn't think about getting on that bike with you enough. Because when you consider the chances of us …" she began and I cut in.

"Princess" I teased. "Admit it, you enjoyed it" I smirked and her eyes flashed with confusion at my teasing.

"What's not to like being pressed up against me?" I furthered and she blushed.

"You think I find you attractive?" She questioned hotly the red patches spreading down her neck and across her chest.

"Your reaction said it all, your heart rate increased, your blushing, you wont met my gaze, your pupils are dilated, your just about ready to go into a full on meltdown over this" I stated trying not to give anything away with my voice.

"You don't bother me in the slightest" she countered.

"No?" I mocked.

"No" she snapped planting a hand on her hip and daring me to test her on it.

"I hate that look, you look so smug, like you've got me all worked out. Like nothing I do could possibly surprise you" she ripped in stepping towards me her pace slow as she stalked towards me. "Well Jacob Black here's something you weren't expecting" she hissed as she took the final step until she could go no further and drew her face towards mine.

Erin's lips were inexperienced and hasty and she slammed them against mine, her jaw colliding with mine but she didn't stop. She was insistent and demanding. I stiffened as her tongue slipped out to brush against where a cut had been only hours earlier and she sucked softly drawing the flesh into her mouth which had a deep sound emerging from the back of my throat. Her lips moved and mashed against my own as I rose to meet her straining to get my tongue into her hot mouth and my arms around her but she pushed back the moment I touched her hip.

We stared at each other for a moment, me slightly dazed and her trying to catch her breath.

"So if I keep making you hate me, will you keep doing that?" I teased and she frowned running her fingers over her lips nervously and I didn't miss the shake in her hand.

Erin turned her back away from me concealing her true emotions and feelings and I sagged back hating the being shut out by her.

"We should get going, especially if I have to have you home by curfew" I noted and she looked back nodding in agreement.

I lead her to the left and through the trees emerged a path mainly used by the odd hiker or local. But I knew the trail was clear of any being at present. It took her a few minutes before she slipped her hand into mine, her palm light and fingers cold against my skin. I linked are fingers but remained silent hesitant to scare her away again.

The trail was hardly used and even now I could hear her uneven heartbeat as we walked, she was either tense from my touch or uncomfortable with her surroundings. Being outdoors made me feel free but for her it seemed to make her nervous.

"I might be moving away. I think you should know, in case anything happens" she blustered out and I faltered for a moment before continuing my stride.

"Moving away?" I questioned hastily feeling my Wolf rise up within.

"For University. To New York. Do you not want to see me any more?" She shot out in quick short sentences.

"I'd follow you to the ends of the earth Erin" I stated and she deadpanned.

We walked on until the track opened up to a woodland and we moved out into the grassland. I feared my unexplainable emotions would frighten her away, that they could overwhelm someone.

"I've hardly told anyone. Not even Noah. I don't want to get his hopes up I haven't been accepted yet. I have to write a paper. It has to be something personally associated to me" she explained dropping my hand and walking ahead picking at the grass with her fingers as it brushed her legs.

"So you want to write about La Push?" I questioned behind her, keeping my distance this time allowing her the space to talk.

"I know what your thinking. Your thinking what would a pale-face know about this place. But this is my home, this is my history. I just, don't know anything about it I guess. I need to write something different Jake, I need to write something good enough to get me in!" She stressed wringing her hands and she came to a stop and turned back to face me.

I felt a twang of guilt at the possibility of denying her. Erin was right, she was a pale-face she was masked from the Tribes going on because she was viewed as an outsider even if no one quite understood why.

"You want me to teach you the Legends, the history?" I confirmed trying to rationalise this.

She grunted her agreement clenching her hands by her side awaiting my rejection.

Telling her the secrets of the Tribe could bring risk to us all. It could force everything to the surface and I wasn't sure if if was ready for that. I wasn't sure if I was ready for her to know the truth yet.

"Please Jacob" she added her voice gentle and my body tensed at her pleading.

She stood tall, her hair had fallen almost completely from its braid and twisted down her back in gingery waves like spinned candy.

"I'll help you, but we have to make a deal Erin" I decided my mind quickly coming up with a formed plan. "If I help you, then you have to do something for me" I explained and she narrowed her eyes to a sharp glare.

"Be very carefully with what you say next Jacob" she warned and I smirked a little.

"If I help you with your project, if I tell you about the Tribe then you have to do something with me. Once a week, we are going to go somewhere" I shrugged offering her the deal.

She scoffed at me her mind steering in a darker direction. "I'm not going to sleep with you for information. I'm not like that" she frowned.

I held myself back from laughing at her irrational comments and remained composed. "Once a week we will meet up and were going to confront one of your fears. A fear a week. Each time you overcome a fear, I'll give you some more information about the tribe" I explained driving a deal for her.

"What are you getting out of this Jacob" she hissed her body ridged with tense fear.

"I get to spend more time with you" I shrugged and she fought to conceal a small smile.

"What if I don't want to confront these fears" she bit back trying to dig at the flaw in my plan.

"Well then I guess you don't want to be a journalist very much then. I suppose your have to break the news to Noah" I shrugged turning back from her a little.

"Wait. I'll think about it. I'm not saying yes, but I need to think about it some more. I need to run it out" she called and I exhaled in relief.

"So that's a yes then" I laughed.

"It's a maybe" she blushed looking down at her feet.

I think people were afraid of Erin. Not just because of her anxiety, not just because of her opinions and her stance of the World. I think people were afraid of Erin because she breathed fire.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hope you all enjoyed this sweet chapter and the kiss! Please leave me your thoughts in a review!**

 **Brookeworm3 so happy you enjoyed Quil POV. Yes I think he's able to give us a better understanding of Erin and Jake through his version of events. So true can't wait for the big reveal! But there will be a few close calls before then. Thank you!**

 **AquaJMgirl thanks for the favourite!**

 **Skylar (Guest) thanks for the review! Glad I've got you hooked on the story. Yes I think it's about time Erin got the truth about it all, I think Erin need to take control and do what she wants. So Jacob whose boss!**


	29. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

 _Erin Purser_

The rain had followed in hours later, and it was now midnight as the windows rattled and the house seemed to shake under the tormenting winds. Perhaps we'd be swept away in a tornado, taken away from La Push. I had dreamt that I could be taken away from the grief which remained a dull, un-moving force within my life. While everyone else moved on I sat and waited. I waited for the door to open and his face to light up the room as he shuffled in with his stiff back and worn face. I floated along in the false sense that this was not going to be prolonged, that he would return.

But my Grandad was dead, and he wasn't coming back. So instead I had to get away. I had to escape La Push, and I had to make Noah proud of me. I had to at least achieve that.

I pulled on my running shoes and tugged a waterproof coat on over my pyjama top before creeping onto the landing. I moved in silence as I exited the house and took of running down the street.

* * *

"Erin!" Sally hissed as she jabbed me in the ribs with a keen elbow that left me winded.

I glared at the girl in silent annoyance before glancing back to the front of the hall were the head teacher paced a slide about Tolerance filling the projected screen. I was suspicious that it was aimed at my post in the school paper which had sparked suspicion between the social lines and brought to question some of the more shadier characters of La Push.

"Where are you at, seriously" she scowled looking at me with her dark stare.

I shrugged my gaze loosing focus on the screen and turn back to the windows which lined the hall drawing in the heat from outside and forcing it through into the space. She let out a small gasp as she caught my stare, her hand clenching into my thigh.

"What are they doing here" she seethed watching Quil in heated conversation with Brady and Collin, her eyes homing in on Jacob who stood a little back from the threesome. He stared right back at us his face expressionless.

"You want to find out?" I asked and she shook her head in disgust.

"I'm sitting this one out Purser. But if you need a distraction, I could totally cause one" she shrugged and I looked back to Jacob's tense stare.

My stomach felt pitiless as it churned about as I contemplated by decision. My palms were sticky and I smeared them along my jeans trying to smooth out my panic.

Sally turned to me again her hair pulled back so tight it gave her a miniature face lift that looked almost painful.

"Sir!" Sally addressed standing up and moving out to the isle. "As a speaker, and on behalf of the school paper I strongly disagree with your … Spider!" She broke of her voice climbing to a screech as she leapt into the air her eyes filled with dramatised fear. "Spider! Spider!" She repeated as the student body let out receptive screams of horror and I watched as people straddled chairs and some rushed over to look for the imaginary creature.

I caught a wink from Sally and darted to the left moving easily through the now vacant isle of chairs.

My heart hammered in my ears as I took a quick glance back at the chaos she'd managed to unleash into the hall and tried to calm myself at the fact I'd vacated unchallenged.

I shifted nervously as it took me a moment to get my bearings in the empty corridor.

My head was pounding with pent up emotions as I considered what I was about to do and the possible repercussions if I was to be caught. I clenched my hands and released them once before putting my foot forward and moving across the hallway and towards the closet exit.

It took me a minute with my hastened walk to reach the collected men who stood set further back from the hall now and a quick glance showed it had been restored to some manner of calmness.

I flicked my gaze with caution over the familiar faces. Quil seemed in control, he was calm despite the stress that appeared to be clouding Brady and Colin. Jacob however looked detached from the entire conversation his eyes settling on me and refusing to move from my face no matter how much I blushed. He was shameless.

"You shouldn't be here" I decided twisting my fingers so the skin went paler than usual.

"Are you coming to the meeting, you have told Erin about the Bonfire right?" Quil announced turning to look at Jacob his face edging on the side of caution as he tensed at the words.

"I wasn't planning on inviting her" he snubbed and I recoiled at the cutting words. _Her_.

I shifted my feet on the ground feeling the overwhelming urge to turn and run.

"Smooth Jake, real smooth" noted Brady and Colin thumped him in the shoulder before they both fell silent under Jacob's menacing gaze.

I kept my stare down and tried to analyse the situation which was making my hands sticky and my heart pulse in uneven jerks.

"I wouldn't want to go anyway" I snubbed deciding a bonfire would be to much of a fire risk especially if I was considering wearing hairspray.

Quil coughed as if to further hint at the awkwardness that was occurring.

"It's just … you never answered me Erin. You never got back to me, and I wouldn't be going anyway. Its not something you need to go to, not yet anyway" Jacob tried to defend but I ignored his words unable to process them.

"I think you should leave here, both of you. We're supposed to be in assembly" I noted glaring at Quil, the only one I could hope to pressure into obedience. Jacob scoffed at me but I didn't move to meet his stare.

"Erin please don't be like that" Quil tried to appease. "Come with me. Let's go to the beach, I'd promised to take Claire" he suggested and I tensed.

"She hates the beach" Jacob snarled his hands clenching into fists and even I couldn't resit staring at his tense posture.

"Jake" Quil warned reaching towards him but Jacob jerked away and took a step back from us all.

I wiped my palms over my jeans trying to dry them off and the worry slowly crept over me. I took a deep breath inhaling through my nose and trying to let a wave of calm overcome me.

Jacob took in my nervous shaking and I feared I may melt with one more of his dark stares. He began to back further away from me and I wanted to protest, to reach and pull him back in but he continued to back up.

I stepped after him my body carrying myself towards him before I could control myself. Quil reached to jerk me back but I pushed forwards my steps quickening into a jog as I left the school behind me and followed Jacob out towards the carpark.

"Don't follow me Erin" Jacob seethed coming to a sharp halt as he backed up on me.

"Your upset" I noted. "Are you embarrassed by me. By us, by your feelings towards me?" I questioned bluntly and his face seemed to slacken as he processed my words.

"Excuse me?" He laughed.

"Your embarrassed about the way you feel about me. Or maybe your just embarrassed by the way I am" I shrugged and he shook his head as a I spoke.

"Your so wrong Erin. I'm not embarrassed by you. I'm trying to protect you from people, I want to keep you away from the Tribe and the Elders. I will take you to meetings, I'll teach you the history. I promise. I just need to make things right first" he noted, his word cryptic.

"Want to go for a walk?" I asked and Jacob looked doubtful for a moment and I could see him processing what he should be doing.

It took a further minute before Jacob extended his hand and with a clammy palm I accepted it. I laced my fingers with his and felt a channel of energy pass between us and a sense of calm rolling over me.

"Where do you want to walk" Jacob asked as we exited the school and moved onto the road, allowing me to steer are direction.

"Not to the beach" I stated and he laughed lightly.

"We could go to my place" he suggested his thumb brushing over my fingers and I inhaled sharply forcing my hand to remain in his.

"So long as you don't try and force feed me out of date chicken, or try to put me into a wardrobe" I teased but there was some seriousness behind my tone.

"I think I learnt my lesson that time" he agreed.

I counted my steps as we walked trying to focus on something other than the feeling of his touch, the rising nerves within me and the thoughts that were spiralling around spending time around Jacob again.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Thank you Brookeworm3 for another lovely review! Glad you think so, I agree they are very sweet together. Yes I think it will make for some entertaining reading!**

 **.Weird thank you so much for the follow and the favourite on the story!**

 **Sianfaythe thanks for the favourite and the follow on the story.**

 **Zaneri0t thank you for the follow and the favourite on Hair Pin Curve.**


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER THIRTY**

 _Jacob Black_

Erin shifted around the apartment her feet bare and her hair loose, it made my pulse become a bit wilder every time I caught a clear glimpse of her moving around. At first I mistook her scoping of the rooms as curiosity but I realised now it was actually a strategic measure to assess the situation.

Her brain never shut off, she could never relax.

I pulled out a draw with a selection of take-out menus ready for Erin to scrutinise when her voice took me offered guard, I could sense her closeness but her voice surprised me.

"Quil's upset you in someway" she noted coming to pick up a menu and folding it out on the slick worktop.

"It's just about you" I shrugged trying to down play it but she tensed and I realised I'd said the wrong thing.

"I don't want to come between you" she muttered casting her head down so her hair fell forwards sheltering her face.

"Your not Princess" I assured quickly but she seemed wounded by the words.

"But I am" she corrected and I couldn't think of something witty enough to say.

I reached out slowly brushing my fingers over her arm trying to soothe her, but her breath drew in quickly as a trail of goosebumps raised where my fingers had trailed.

"So I heard this one makes a mean stir-fry" Erin noted passing a menu towards me and I looked down it with approval.

"Take your pick" I suggested and she smiled slightly and the simple gesture made my body pulse with a strange sensation.

It took an hour to wait before the food arrived and Erin spent the time filling me with talk of school and I listened hanging of her every word as she describe to me the trials and tribulations of writing for the school paper.

Erin could hardly keep still, she seemed agitated as she flicked through the DVD collection looking through the titles as if she was seeking answers.

"We should watch a film. A horror, loads of gore" I suggested and I watched the muscles in her back tense and her breath hitch for a moment.

"Is this a test?" she whispered and if it hadn't been for my heightened hearing I would have missed it.

"I guess it is" I noted.

"It's just a film right?" She questioned and I agreed assuringly picking one of the more sensible ones from the shelf and moving towards the television.

The food arrived shortly after and we settled in of the oversized sofa, eating from the trays and Erin stuck to water as I swigged from my beer. There felt to be miles between us as she sat as far from me as she could manage without being rude.

Her eyes didn't leave the screen, and my eyes didn't leave her body.

I watched her as she flinched, recoiled and gasped at the pictures that flashed across the screen. I observed her nervous hands that clenched and unclenched and the red patches which would flare up over her neck whenever she became panicked.

"Stop looking at me like that" she hissed as she set her empty container down on the coffee table and I flinched back at being caught, realising I'd unconsciously started to close the distance between us.

"Looking at you like what?" I teased.

She didn't respond to my question but turned back to the screen letting out a shrill sound as she caught sight of the villain.

"I wont sleep for weeks after this" she squeaked a hand resting on her thumping chest.

"But you haven't had a panic attack yet" I tried to praise but her eyes turned to me and I watched the pain flash in front of them.

"That's because you're here. You help me rationalise" she explained.

I felt a lump in my throat as I pressed my hands into the sofa willing myself not to touch her.

"You can walk me home now" she announced standing up and walking to retrieve her shoes. I was slower than her taking a few seconds to process her actions.

"Your come over soon though right, so I can show you some stuff. About the Tribe" I hurried as her hand reached for the door handle and she gave me a small nod and I followed her out into the night.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hello my lovely readers I hope you've enjoyed this update, please leave me a review with any thoughts you may have. The next update will be from Brian.**

 **I am also looking for a beta reader, so if anyone would be interested please can you let me know!**

 **Thank you Choco-Latte64 for the follow and the favourite!**

 **Luighseach thanks for following the story.**

 **Hello Charlotte (guest) thank you for leaving me a review.**

 **I'm glad you are enjoying the plot of the story, and I really appreciate that you find Erin to be a realistic character as this is something that is so important to me.**

 **Obviously I have had this mentioned in the past. Depending on my own health and work schedule the proof reading I give each chapter can vary. I appreciate the need for proper English and obviously do try where I can to keep this at the necessary level.**

 **Hope you enjoyed the update, thanks again for leaving me your thoughts.**


	31. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

 _Brian Albe_

I pulled up outside Jacob's apartment and for a moment I contemplated how a man who worked as a mechanic could afford such luxury when he came from such humble beginnings. I pictured Billy Black tiered little bungalow as I applied the hand-break and moved from the car.

A text had requested I collect Erin from here and I moved up the steps and knocked against the door hopeful of stirring the occupants within. The cold had drawn in further and I could sense the brewing storm in the air that would hit in a matter of hours.

I waited at the door, listening for the creaking of furniture and the door opened suddenly to reveal Jacob Black. He smiled slightly but it was tensed as I quickly took in his half-dressed appearance.

"I'm here for Erin" I stated and he nodded knowingly.

"Yeah good luck with that. She's in one of those moods" he shrugged stepping back to permit my entry.

I felt the urge to immediately take of my shoes and expected a letting agent to appear to offer me the guided tour of the property. Instead I walked on and followed the sound of a pounding base further into the room which was sparse in it's open plan layout.

I my eyes scanned for Erin and I caught sight of her curled up into a egg-like chair which was of such dark in colour that it drew out her skin to look even paler than normal. Her hair was strung back in a complex braid that made my head hurt to think about how it came together and she wore a pair of dungarees which hugged her.

"Afternoon" I nodded towards her and her eyes widened as she seemed to detach herself from the music and focus on my words.

"Oh, it's you" she noted pushing herself upright and glaring across at me as if I was surely a disappointment.

"See what I mean" Jacob muttered and he moved towards the oval coffee table and began closing photo albums with a sudden haste.

"We should get going. It's going to be storming soon" I noted trying to encourage her towards the door and away from Jacob who was making me uncomfortable with his sudden staring at my interaction with Erin.

She stretched out like a cat pushing herself out and her bare feet smacked against the floor her jewelled feet taking me by surprise. She met my gaze and curled her ringed toes inwards trying to obscure my view.

"Lets get going then" she shrugged but her posture was uptight as she moved to find her Converse.

"Reliving old memories" I noted jerking my hand towards the stacked albums.

"It's for Erin" he shrugged as if that could answer everything.

"She does have a way with people doesn't she. Could make you do anything for her right?" I smiled knowingly as he watched her dotingly.

"She's got you too" he laughed and I nodded. Erin had me the first time we had to haul her arse into the car.

"Erin has a way of just … I don't know she just has a way" Jacob decided and I couldn't help but agree with it.

"Are you coming Brian!" Erin called and the front door slammed. Jacob chuckled and shook his head as he walked towards the kitchen.

"She's got a key. I expect she'll want dropping of back here, I might not be in" Jacob remarked and I gave a sharp nod before heading after her.

* * *

The car jerked as she snatched the clutch and I gritted my teeth considering how long it would be before it was worn out.

"I taught this one guy, he'd do it constantly. And every time he did it I started punching him in the arm. He learnt pretty quickly not to" I teased and she tensed as she consider my words, analysing whether I was serious. It was almost painful how much she overanalysed the most simple of comments.

"So you seem cosy with Black" I jibbed and she inhaled sharply her face becoming red with embarrassment.

"It's for my writing … he's just teaching me about the history of the Tribe. It's nothing" she scoffed but her hands flexed around the wheel and she seemed like I'd burnt her.

"I think it's more than that Purser" I teased and she flinched.

"It's none of your business Brian!" She seethed her neck covered in vicious red splodges of stress induced colour.

Her teeth drew into her lip and she paled even further at her own words and I watched her force a swallow.

The road narrowed and she forced the wheel around her arms crossing as she tried to make the turn. I sunk my head back against the rest and tried to lull myself into a false sense of security.

"I want to pass my test. I do. I want to do this Brian honest. It's just, I've never found something so difficult" she complained her eyes scanning over my tense posture and I tried to force myself to relax.

"Purser. I've never met someone like you before. Most people who find it this hard give in, but you don't. I cant decide if it's stubbornness or stupidity but either way you just keep going with it" I shrugged shaking my head as I tried to rationalise the words.

"Make Jacob go out with you in the car. Let him give you a lesson" I suggested and she shook her head back and forth as if the comment was madness. Perhaps it was.

"I don't think that's a good idea" she snapped flexing her fingers as her eyes refused to meet mine.

"Right, right" I nodded rubbing my hands together. "I think we should practice some manoeuvres. Lets start with the easiest it's called an emergency stop" I explained and she was already inhaling sharply.

"So what your going to do it drive along, keep your foot of the gas, really speed up and then you need to hit the break and clutch. Stop the car as quick as you can. Put everything on. Right lets just try it, listen for when I say stop then do it Kay?" I explained and she paled beside me.

It took a minute before she composed herself enough to move off and we began accelerating slowly building up speed. I hovered my foot over the dual control and composed myself.

"Stop!" I shouted bracing my hands on the dash and Erin let out a screech and released her hands from the wheel. I jerked my feet down stopping the car and snatching at the wheel.

"Brian" she seethed her hands begging to shake in jerking movements.

"Your meant to stop the car Purser" I reprimanded and she looked confused.

"Okay imagine your driving along and your cat runs into the road. Imagine right now that Sebastian is in the middle of the road and you have to stop or your hit him" I tried to justify and she looked horrified at my example.

We took off again and this time when I cried stop she did, she hit the brakes so hard we were jolted about and it set her off into a five minute panic attack which had her retching for breath.

It bugged me for hours after. The sad look in her eyes, the disappointment that overcame her and the apology she gave me, as if she had done something wrong. As if this was something she need to take blame for.

* * *

 **Authors Note:** **Horrible week at work, Fibro flare up and full of cold guys so go easy on me please :/ next chapter up will be Erin going to a Tribe Bonfire! Lets see how that one goes. Have a lovely weekend people :)**

 **.Awesome.19 thanks for the story favourite!**

 **Hello again Charlotte!**

 **Haha yes I agree, it took me a while before I got my profile and I only did so I could publish.**

 **Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!**


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER THRITY-TWO**

 _Erin Purser_

I hoisted up the denim dungarees moving the straps over a black shirt and pulling a oversized sweater on over the top to complete the outfit. We had cold nights in La Push and considering this I pulled on a coat of Paige's before I left that was hanging on the banister rail.

Embry was shifting about on the porch and he seemed almost as nervous as I was about what we were about to do.

"I cant believe I'm doing this for you" he shook his head even as he spoke and I bite my lip try to factor his concern into my already spiraling emotions.

I paused on the doorstep considering turning back and hiding under the covers with Sebastian. But that would be a easy way out of this situation, and I couldn't back out now. I had a paper to write and Jacob Black was still skirting about with the details for it.

He'd had me over to his house. On the condition I watched a scary movie he'd show me his ancestral line. I had covered up my horror at the film, I'd masked it allowing the emotions I felt about him to lull me into a false sense of calm. But as soon as I got in I spent half and hour sat fully clothed in the shower trying to catch my breath as the images filled my mind and I felt the walls around me closing in.

I'd run every night since then, and I had started to medicate my sleep pattern unable to get the haunting images from my mind.

It had been worth it though, and I supposed I could tolerate it again if it was needed. I'd dealt with it, even if the after affects continued to seep through. Learning about Jacob's history, tracing his clear family line back over centuries had been amazing. I knew little about where I came from, who I was, I felt so cut off.

Jacob had been fascinated by my own interest in his history and had even allowed me to comb through his photo albums. He'd talked about his Mother, but skirted over his Father and their relationship but I knew it was strained.

Embry was walking a little behind me and I tried to keep my pace steady but I felt his eyes watch me as if expecting I might bolt.

"Why doesn't Jacob want me to go?" I asked as we neared Quil's property and I could hear the sounds of raised voices as we closed in. Embry quickened to overtake me as he moved to the front door but I stayed back wary of entering into the such danger willingly.

"Come on Purser. It's only the guys" he assured denying me the answers I wanted. I followed him into the familiar house breathing in the refreshing scent of male.

I peeled of the coat of Paige's which was made of pink velvet and unwound the scarf dropping them over the hooks. I kicked of my Dr. Martens setting them to the side as I followed Embry towards the sounds.

I stopped abruptly as I walked into Quil arguing with Jacob and both men quickly silenced upon my interuprtsion turning to glare at Embry.

"You were meant to take her straight there!" Quil snapped looking nervously between me and Jacob.

"Well I'm sorry but I kinda wanted some backup dude. You think I just want to drop that bomb on Billy and Sam without my wingman. Hell I swear there going have fucking pups the moment they see her. And I know Leah will just want to hand my arse to me" Embry quarreled back and I looked between the two of them struggling to keep up with the exchange.

"Yeah great, smart move just bring her right over here" he snarled and Jacob stood stoic between them.

"I didn't know he'd be here. By the time we got close enough for me to realize it was to late dude. He'd fucking smell her a mile off!" Embry argued back and I flinched at the words.

"Your supposed to be my friend. Both of you. And you've just blew me off. You've done exactly what I asked you not to" Jacob seethed his words cold.

"Hey! She's my my friend to. I love both of you. I'm not going to start picking sides" Embry defended holding his hands up in truce.

Jacob glared at Quil and I waited nervously for his answer.

"Erin comes first Jake. You know that. It's the way it works. You want to put her first, and so do I. It's a Pack mentality thing" Quil shrugged.

"Why is this such a betrayal to you?" I demanded speaking up and the room seemed to shift tense with the realization of my presence. I could hardly break down the flow of conversation, there cryptic muttering. I felt myself flush under there stares and I reached for the counter to steady my fuzzy head.

I knew what they must be thinking. They were waiting for a explosion and I tensed trying to suppress it. I fanned myself with my free hand recoiling as I felt the searing skin of Jacob brush against me, trying to act as a reassuring presence but it tipped me overboard.

"Get of me!" I seethed slumping against the counter and trying to clear my vision which was becoming fuzzy.

"Erin you can control this. Pull yourself back from it" Jacobs voice rolled over me like a soft hymn and I nodded trying to agree with his opinion.

I could fight it. I could pull myself back from it. I had to.

I straightened up and turned to look at the nervous eyes.

"Water. Please" I asked scratching at my tight throat and Jacob shoved Embry into action. I pushed up lifting myself onto the work top and Jacob moved towards me slowly, careful to not startle me. I nodded in subtle agreement and allowed him to push his way in between my legs.

We stared at each other for a moment until Embry offered me the water. I gulped it down in one go breathing heavily as I finally took breath setting the glass down my hands still shaking. I held them in front of me looking at them as I felt the warmth of Jacob's body resting between me. I needed to do something, anything to steady them. I reached forwards pulling at him, forcing his head down into my chest I held it there. I pressed his into my breaths and began counting my breaths. Slow, easy breaths I took trying to match my own with his.

Time became immeasurable and I held him, allowing him to anchor me for the brief moment.

* * *

Jacob had left with a fleeting glance out the back door and I sensed things would be unpleasant the next time he saw the boys but neither backed out. Quil took my hand all the way on the drive out to the Bonfire and neither brought up what had occurred between me and Jacob and I was grateful for their silence.

The smell of fire made my nostrils flare and I clenched and un-clenched my free hand as we dismounted the car and moved into the smoke filled air. A gathering was well underway, Quiluetes crowded around the fire pit, eating, laughing and drinking. The atmosphere was light and I cowered back from the tall figures that moved around and the booming voices. It became quieter as we approached and I became more aware of the blatant stares that were falling upon us.

A man stood up from the fire and he seemed to be some established figure of authority and the voices dipped to hushed whispers and I knew the words had to be about me. I was not welcome here, I could sense that already.

"Quil what are you doing?" The man demanded his face shadowed by the fire but I could distinguish him as Sam Uley instantly, he made me feel cold.

"This is Erin Purser, she is here to listen to the Legends. She is a Quiletue, she is entitled to be here" he countered and I sensed even he seemed under some sort of control from the older man.

"Erin Purser has no right to be here. She has no such entitlement she is not Quileute. She is a pale face. She must leave" a voice spoke from the crowd and I looked for the face that spoke such cruel words but could find none.

"That's not fair. You let Jacob bring Bella once!" Embry cried stepping beside me and gripping my arm as if he was about to force me into the circle of hostility.

"You know the situation. Jacob Black is not here. Take her home" Sam commanded and I wanted to protest but the world seemed to be spinning to quickly and my heart rate was increasing.

I snatched my arm away from Embry and pulled my hand from Quil. I began to back away, the voices got louder the whispered talk, and pointing fingers. I turned fully and took off running away from the collected circle desperate to escape them and the memories that had begun to flood my mind.

Wolves.

Tearing clothes.

The Elders.

Legends.

Shapeshifters.

Jacob.

Quil.

Imprint.

Quil surprised me and I screeched as he snatched me up mid-run my legs kicking out to strike against his as I convulsed against him. My screams became wails as I struck out enough to loosen myself from his grasp. I began to run again, my feet hitting the ground harder this time until stronger arms stole me. They were rougher and I recognized the thick voice of Sam Uley as he insistently tried to tell me to calm. I ripped at his skin with my nails and choked out breaths until the air couldn't come quick enough and the world went dark.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hello everyone, I thought I'd update a little early as I leave for my holiday tomorrow so I won't be able to update for a week or so! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter even if it was a little bitter sweet. Coming up after this will be a little hot scene between Purser sand Black! But alas it is a fleeting one.**

 **So glad for your continued support and I love hearing from you guys with the reviews you leave for me. Thank you all so much you make it all worth it.**

 **Tiamaria89 thank you for the favourite and the follow on my story! I've had a look at your profile and I complelty agree I love a strong male character!**

 **In answer to your question Erin has anxiety which fluctuates in it's extremes. I personally think she is mildly depressed as you will probably see in some parts at the story continues. I hope this helps you?**

 **Thanks so much for leaving me the review.**

 **Bubblemarie hello welcome aboard! That's great to here. I'm glad Erin has been able to touch you and help you reflect on your own difficulties – I always wanted her to be relatable for people. Erin is very vulnerable I agree. I was so fed up of not seeing characters who had any sort of weakness that I had to create something to resolve that. Yes Jacob certainly has his own stuff to work through too.**

 **Thanks again for such a lovely review and for following the story!**


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

 _ERIN PURSER_

My name is Erin Purser and my life is spent trying to avoid anything dangerous.

Drugs.

Alcohol.

Smoking.

Cars.

Motorbikes.

Boats.

Planes.

Animals.

People.

Feelings.

Boys.

Lifts.

Heights.

Woodland.

Germs.

Storms.

Water.

Sex.

And Jacob Black, especially Jacob Black.

Most of the above I was failing miserably at and I repeated the list in my head as I felt the heavy breathing beside me on a bed I knew was not my own. It struck me as odd that I was not hit with an instant panic but more a wave of calm that I was for once not entirely alone. I was with Jacob Black who had become a conflict of interest at present on my avoid list.

I looked down feeling for the clothes I should be wearing but found some absent. I wore the same black shirt but my dungarees had gone and a sheet which must have been covering me was kicked back. I looked over to Jacob, he was half dressed his chest bare and I froze realizing just how entangled my body was with his. My leg hitched itself across his chest, my intimate area pressing into his lower torso and my hand clutching against his forearm my fingers absently stroking the tattoo that rested there.

He groaned a little and I gasped as he shifted his weight rolling over so my body became stuck under his. The slight weight that pressed down against me made my head spin and I held my breath trying to force my thighs tighter together as one of his palms brushed against my breast.

I realized suddenly that I perhaps had misjudged his sleep and sensed he was quite awake.

I moved my hand running my cold fingertips up his arm and onto his back I turned my palm flat smoothing it along the muscles which tightened under my touch. I latched my other arms around him pulling me up and into him my head burying in his neck as I inhaled the smell of him trying to write it to my memory.

He pulled me up with him moving us up so I sat straddling him the sheets fully away from us both and my scantly clad lower half rubbed against his pants as I sat pressed against something firm.

"You seem … calm" he husked and I buried my head firmer into his neck placing the smallest of kisses there.

"They were so mean" I whispered back feeling my eyes begin to well with tears from the night that had passed.

"There's so much you don't understand Erin. That's why I didn't want you to go there yet. It's my fault. I'm sorry" he explained pulling me back from him and trying to catch my eye.

"Why did they say those things" I mumbled pulling at the shirt which brushed my hip bones allowing the feelings I held for Jacob Black to intoxicate me.

"To spite me. It's nothing to do with you" he assured but I felt he was only giving me half the answer.

I dropped my palm to feel the bed sheet finally processing I was in Jacobs bed.

"How did you …" I began breaking off and I looked around trying to process the situation in a more logical manner.

"Sam called me. You fainted. They couldn't calm you down. I took you back here. Noah thinks you stayed over with Quil after the bonfire".

"Must have been pretty bad for you to lie to Noah" I teased and he smirked back.

"You're a very restless sleeper. You kept thumping me for about ten minutes and when I rolled over to tell you to knock it off you just crawled all over me" he laughed and I blushed covering my face with my hands in embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed" he pleaded pulling my hands from my face.

"Why did you sleep in the bed with me?" I demanded looking at him. "And why did you take my clothes off?" I added.

"It's my bed, I could have given you the couch" he shrugged. "Your clothes were dirty, I wasn't about to let you get mud all over my sheets" he added.

"I feel dirty" I decided sitting up and moving away from him. "I've been disgusting" I reprimanded myself shifting fully from the bed. Jacob looked confused struggling to keep up with my emotions as I finally woke from my heady lust filled subconscious.

"I just slept in a bed with you. How many other people have done that Jacob. How many other people have shared this bed with you. I don't want to be your latest conquest or the next notch on your bed post. I feel disgusting, dirty, like a whore, or a slut. I feel indecent" I fretted reaching for my dungarees scolding the feelings of desire that Jacob Black had drawn in me.

"I've never had another person in this bed before Purser" he snapped staying on the bed his arms coming to cross over his chest.

"But there have been other girls though" I assured nodding my head even before he answered his eyes said it all.

"Erin you make it sound like we had sex. We just slept. I'm twenty-two, what do you expect me to do abstain from my needs?" He demanded.

"I'm not a whore. I'm not Paige" I reminded myself. "I'm Erin Purser I don't do this. I don't like the person your trying to make me become" I seethed.

"Erin don't do this. Don't punish yourself. Don't shut me out. We've done nothing wrong" he countered but I was already heading towards the door.

I couldn't process the situation. I was overwhelmed.

He let me leave and I spent half of the day crying to Quil.

* * *

I knocked lightly on the shutter door before I stepped inside of the garage which seemed to have the overpowering stench of engine oil. My eyes flicked to Noah staring down perplexed at a off road vehicle which appeared to have some vital components missing, even by my limited standards.

"You wonder why I picked Journalism" I noted coming to step closer towards him and he laughed slightly rubbing his oiled palms across his already stained work clothes.

"Have you been home yet?" He asked crisply keeping his hands busy as he moved to lean inside the car.

"No. Not yet. I've been with Quil. And then I went to print my latest article for the paper. It's about the record level of depression amount young adults" I rambled.

"If you set it down I'll have a read of it" he explained from the inside of the car still reluctant to make eye contact with me.

"A letter's at home for you. It's from a University, I haven't opened it, it's your business, but it's waiting for you" he noted further finally withdrawing back to look towards me.

"Thanks" I muttered with a slight nod.

"I missed you at home. They're driving me crazy" he shrugged turning towards me and giving me a sheepish smile.

"I thought I drive you all crazy" I stated and he gave me a playful wink but the statement remained uncorrected. Perhaps, because it was quite true.

We stared at one another for a moment and he nodded towards the drinks stand. "Can you make me a coffee and then you can make yourself one that you'll pretend to drink?" He asked and I smiled knowingly at him moving to switch the kettle on.

I faffed behind him with the kettle and cups, measuring out the coffee and watching the kettle shake as it began to get hotter and hotter.

"Paige isn't doing well. I thought maybe … I don't know. You could talk to her. Take her out somewhere?" He asked carefully and I considered this for a moment.

"I don't think she'd like that" I muttered clanging the mug together as my hands began to shake.

"Paige loves you Erin. Despite her lack of ability to show it. She admires you I think, greatly" he praised and I smeared my sweaty palms against my dungarees before I picked up the kettle to pour.

"Maybe I could talk to her" I agreed and Noah seemed to sigh.

"Paige doesn't want you to get hurt, not like she was. That's why she's so … well that's why she is" he shrugged trying to indulge me in the reasons behind the actions of his twin but I was at a loss.

I brought the coffee over and indulged in a few mindless hours with Noah, trying to forget Jacob.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hello I'm back with a new update!**

 **Just a little reminder to check out my two other stories:**

 **Doing it the Blonde Way - Twilight PaulxOC with Jacob and the rest of the pack in there, it's complete!**

 **and**

 **The Boy Who Stole My First Kiss - Immortal Instrument series JonathanxOC.**

 **What can I say Erin is just one distaste after the other! Pleaser review.**

 **Jailynne Thank you for the follow and the favourite on the story!**

 **bubblemarie thanks for another review!**

 **Your written English is very clear, I wouldnt have realised it wasnt your first language had you not have said.**

 **I'm glad you like the back stories running through. I agree each character is struggling with there own personal issues, be it Quil with Claire, Jake with the tribe, Noah with his responsibilities in the family ect.**

 **Haha me to it's going to be a good chapter to post :)**

 **Thank you I had a lovely break.**


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER THIRTY –FOUR**

 _Brian Albe_

I looked over Erin with a slight nervousness as I considered the introduction she was about to make. I was waiting for her to back out on the decision she'd made to meet my Wife, scared that this was going to end badly.

Erin seemed equally as uncertain as I was as we sat in the idling car looking up at the big house that I'd renovated with Christi and we shared with two bumbling Great Danes.

I puffed out the grey smoke from the cigarette blowing out of the open window. Even in the cool of the night Erin didn't shiver in her short sleeved blouse. She seemed pale though and I suspected it was down to neves.

I'd driven us the entire way out of La Push in silence, and when I tried to make a comment as we entered Forks she bite my head off with her usual blunt, rudeness which I'd come to respect.

"The silent treatment Purser, are you serious?" I questioned as we pulled through the scattering of shops, and the restaurant we enjoyed eating out at.

She turned away from me her gaze fixed upon the flashing scenery of the more built up town and I wondered how often she'd been in to Forks.

I turned the radio up slightly so it filled the audible silence between us and began singing along to the cheesy lyrics that the radio station was playing. A student had messed up the station and I hadn't bothered to correct it since.

Erin was smiling slightly at my rough voice and I began to sing louder poking her occasionally as I tried to stir a reaction from her. She took me off guard as she reached to blast the radio so it pushed through the speakers at a deafening rate and she joined in with the chorus singing at the top of her lungs to the lyrics of Nickelback.

"Wow Purser, didn't know you had that in you" I laughed and she giggled along, seemingly taken aback by her own reaction.

We pulled up on the drive shortly after, a layer of tension re-setting itself.

"We should go in. She'll be watching from the window" I noted and Erin seemed to tense.

I wasn't quite sure what had willed me to invite Erin over for dinner. Perhaps it was the desperate need for the normality she sought, or the fascination that Christie held for her.

"Can I have one?" She asked jerking a shaking finger towards the cigarette packet and I sighed exasperated that this conversations was having to be revisited again.

"We've been through this Erin. I'm not going to give you a cigarette. What are you crazy?" I demanded and her lips pursed.

"No. I'm psychotic, there's a difference" she snubbed and it took me a moment to realise she was trying to make a joke.

"Why are you so desperate to have one?" I demanded running both my hands through my hair disturbing the gel I'd set in there earlier.

"It's something I'm scared off. Something I would usually avoid. I'm working on getting over things like this" she jabbed her finger towards the case and I nodded trying to understand her but failing to really grasp it.

I remember my first smoke. It had been from a cigarette taken out of my Father's packet that was kept in his coat pocket. He'd always kept it from my Mother, even though it was a well known fact in the house, she continued the pretence of innocence to his bad habit. I'd been backhanded when he'd realised one was missing but any real punishment was lacking due to him being unwilling to arose my Mother's suspicions.

"I'll let you hold one if that appeases your sudden desires" I willed and she looked at me blankly for a moment. I moved my eyes across her stiff frame and down to her hands which sat clenched and shaking at her sides.

I pulled a single cigarette from the packet and outstretched it towards her, her right hand unclenched and one of her long fingers took it with a nervous shake. I turned away unable to watch as she lifted it to her mouth and rested it there.

"Does that satisfy you, can you ticket it off your teenage bucket list or whatever this is?" I demanded looking back to her. She set the cigarette into her palm and was staring at it as if she was trying to understand it's purpose.

"Doesn't seem that dangerous" she noted and I plucked it from her hand and set in back in the case, safe from her further scrutiny.

"Let's leave it there shall we. Come on we better go inside, Christi will have a hissy-fit if we take any longer" I noted, although it wasn't entirely true.

I moved first and it took Erin a few seconds of composure before she followed me up the driveway and to the howling dogs within. I tried to force back the Dane's who could knock Christi flying on a good day and would surely deck Erin in a second the moment they bounded up to her.

She closed the door softly behind her, and Christi looked up from the kitchen her face forming into a pleasant surprise at Erin's actual attendance.

I yanked at the collars of the two dogs trying to prevent there attack but one broke lose and he was slobbering all over Erin before she knew what had hit her. Christi gasped and I froze awaiting a complete meltdown from the girl but she only stiffened.

"Erin?" I questioned freeing her away from the dogs attention seeking and she remained silent. Her breaths were shallow for only a moment before she forced a smile.

"What are they called?" She asked slowly peeling herself from the wall and coming to stand by the agitated animals which could swipe her out with a flick of there tails.

"Scooby and Dexter" Christi answered and she bent down to pet them. They were her overgrown children in some strange way.

"Hello" Erin cooed in a voice you'd usually use with a baby and followed Christi slowly moving to pet them. The dogs jerked against my restraint, but Erin seemed calm.

"It's nice to meet your family" she noted staring up from her squatting to meet my eyes and I nodded in mutual agreement a lump forming in my throat at the stellar performance she was doing. I was proud of her, and I think in that moment, Erin was proud of herself too.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Enjoy guys and please leave me a review!  
**

 **Next chapter is Jacob POV at Claire's birthday party, lets see how Erin handles that one shall we!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Authors Note: Hello my lovely readers, I am updating a lot earlier than I had intended following quite a bit of backlash from the previous chapter in terms of the reviews left to me.**

 **(If you have love for this story I apologise for the rant and feel free to skip over it)**

 **As with Doing It The Blonde Way I have found writing shall I say different OC has not come without its critics. But with Erin people have really seemed to got the bit between their teeth with her which I think is a bit of a shame.**

 **This started out quite clearly as a story about a girl with anxiety, something that effects a huge amount of the population on varying levels of severity. Now I have tried to keep Erin as true to herself as I could while writing her, and I think you need to picture the huge amount of mental and emotional strain she is under.**

 **The idea that people will be all hunky-dory with the idea of Wolf's and Vampires is something a little to unrealistic for me, and for someone like Erin it's a minefield. In the back of her head she knows they exists, (as we will find out in later chapters) but she is suppressing this knowledge.**

 **I love writing about Erin, and about how she has to tackle the world. Yes some of it is based on personal experience and from others I know, but the other large part of this is fictional, hence why it is called a fiction based story. I always try my hardest to take every negative review on board, and consider the time it has taken someone to leave me these thoughts but when it becomes a quite rude and personal attack I find that very unnecessary and it really makes me question whether or not I want to continue posting stories on this site.**

 **When people have clearly spent the time reading up to chapter 34 to then leave such a unpleasant review I really do question why you have bothered reading the story is you clearly dislike it so much?**

 **I wrote Erin like is did with Imogene in my other fiction because I was bored of not being able to read about a character with issues. Issues that did reflect to some extent part of the population that did exist and were hidden behind a invisible condition.**

 **tiamaria89**

 **I understand that Erin's experience may not personal reflect your own experience with anxiety but I must stress that I have based her experience and her character on a anxiety disorder so she may hold some similar traits even if her condition is profoundly different. Well I don't think Erin's is much of a case we'd experience. Her condition is amplified by the scenarios which she is placed within during this fictional story. I also have to stress that this is a fiction, perhaps in real life she would be seeking further medical treatment, but in real life she wouldn't be a imprint and their wouldn't be Wolves roaming around a reservation. I appreciate your suggestions on Erin's condition but I am not in the habit of completely branding her as I feel she will fluctuate in the severity of her condition throughout the story and that will reflect the experiences she is having.**

 **Guest**

 **Well I've pretty much explained it all up about but I will leave you a more specific response. Erin may be a 'raving Looney' in your eyes, but she does actually display the symptoms of an anxiety disorder. Believe it or not my fiction has actually involved research and is not something I have plucked from thin air.**

 **Generalized anxiety disorder is defined as an uncontrollable disposition to worry about**

 **one's welfare and that of onc's immediate kin. Associated manifestations include arousal,**

 **vigilance, tension, irrita- bility, unrestful sleep and gastrointestinal distress amoung others symptoms.**

 **There's your definition, I hope this helps you to understand Erin's little better, and what she is going through. As for me. I never said she is the shadow of myself as I don't' like in La Push, have an Imprint or live around Wolves. So there you go. I said Erin was inspired by personal experiences and people I know. No one is Erin, because she is her own fictional person. I have Fibromyalgia and as part of this condition experience levels of anxiety and depression. What I personally input to Erin in terms of my own experiences is when I learnt to drive. Which was when I was going through my initial stages of diagnosis, on no medications and dealing with a great strain of family's stress which resulted in much of the difficulties Erin to is facing with her learning to drive.**

 **Erin hasn't lost the plot, she's just a girl, struggling.**

 **So I'll get down to it. If you don't like Erin, think she's a freak-show and need's locking up, whatever, go and find another JacobxOC story to read. There are plenty out there all with pretty much the nice, normal character that you clearly desire and will find much more enjoyable than this. I'll carry on doing what I do, and you can do what you do.**

* * *

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**

 _Jacob Black_

Erin slid the bike helmet up and over her head and a quick shake freed her auburn waves to there wild curling around her face. She was gradually getting used to the motorbike but I think it would be to early to say if she'd ever actually enjoy the experience. I think she feared it, and feared the proximity it brought with me.

The porch that stretched around the Uley property was already full and I knew are arrival had been watched intently. I reached into the saddle bags pulling out the two separate birthday presents we'd brought for Claire.

Her original party had been rained of, but now even in the cold I could smell the barbecue and longed for a chilled beer to even out my own tension.

I struggled to keep my eyes of Erin as she bent down to shake the dust which had picked up on her dress. It was a velvet red, stretching down her arms, dipping down the back and falling to her knee is a loose skirt it seemed to make her hair seem even more alight.

"What did you buy her?" I asked nervously looking down at her immaculate rapping. "Not hand sanitiser?" I questioned and she looked for a moment like she was torn between punching me and bursting into tears.

"No" she quipped snatching the box from me and moving up the driveway. "I brought her a book by her favourite authors. First-edition, signed" she announced triumphantly as I strode to fall back into line with her.

"Oh" I muttered feeling rather sheepish with the backpack I'd made Rachel pick out for me.

"Yours must be bad then" she snubbed bluntly and I smiled at her understanding.

"I got her a backpack" I shrugged. "I feel pretty shitty, I didn't even pick it out myself" I admitted with a pang of guilt.

"Well I'll be damned if your going to share mine" she snapped and I faltered in my step before smirking at her fiery attitude.

We walked the short distance towards the porch where the birthday girl began screeching in delight at are arrival, or perhaps it was just Erin's arrival. Either way her cries seemed to drown out the hushed whispers that surrounded her entrance.

She caught Claire up in a warm embrace but I still noticed the stiffness in her as she held her as if she was uncertain of herself, or how she should be doing this. Erin's warmth did not seem to come naturally to her.

"Happy Birthday" she congratulated and I gave Claire a pat on the back and reluctantly handed over my half-hearted present. Quil was eyeballing me from the steps and I could already tell he knew how suckish my gift was.

We were carried forwards into the house and Erin for once seemed glue to my side, and I was uncertain with how I felt about having her following after me. When people tried to engage her in conversation she'd blush and look for me to answer. When anyone brushed against her she flinched moving into my side, and when finally she made eye contact with Sam Uley she excused herself to take some air.

I looked to Quil who was always more tactile in these situations but he stared back at me, demanding I take the lead with this one.

Erin hadn't moved far, but had set herself away from the women that grouped on the steps idly gossiping. The conversation ceased as I passed Emily and Kim who glared at me with a sense of caution.

Leah was stood by them and flipped me the finger and she stuck out her tongue but I was at least relieved she hadn't approached Erin. Surely her presence alone would be enough to send her into a panic attack.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked kicking at the dirt.

"I just wanted to get some space. I need time to rationalize, being outdoors helps to put things into perspective" she shrugged.

"What's going through your mind right now?" I asked my hands itching to reach out and touch her.

"Right now" she laughed shaking her head. "Right now Jacob, do you really want to know?" She demanded and I nodded eagerly.

"I was thinking about the bodies crammed into such a small place, the risk of infection and all the germs that were being spread, I was panicking about how I was going to have to make some lame excuse when the food was served and how I couldn't stand watching all those people eating around me. About how awkward conversation was, and about what a awful burden I was on Claire, how I was ruining her party. I was grappling with my mind, forcing myself to stay by your side because I was terrified that people recognized me from the Bonfire. I felt like people were whispering about me, I felt like I was being scrutinized for even breathing.

But now, right now Jacob I'm thinking about you. About how much I want to touch you, about how I want to jump your bones" she deduced knotting her hands together. "And that right there is far, far more scary then anything I had to encounter inside that house" she shrugged turning away from me and I could hear her heart rate increase.

"Hey Jake, Purser. They're doing the party games!" Embry called from the porch and I shot my head over to where he was stood.

I flinched as I saw Rachel beside him, Paul surrounding her in a tight embrace. She was glaring at me like I was something toxic and she was whispering, I caught Erin falling from her lips but Paul cut her off abruptly noticing my gaze.

I clenched my hands at my sisters actions. Erin wasn't something on exhibit. She was a person, not some idle piece of gossip.

"We need to talk about this" I decided tugging on her arm but Erin jerked it back forcefully and continued on her walk back up to the house and I was unable to do anything other than follow her.

* * *

We'd come to sit through an hour of seemingly endless party games and the sun was beginning to set which had most of the older generations making excuses to head home. It still left a full house as soon the lights where being dipped and the music was beginning to pound from the old speakers that Quil had found in the garage.

Erin's body was tense against the music and she stood away from the shifting body's unwilling to engage in such activity her bare feet tapping against the floor. But Claire was insistent and hyper on Cherry Coke she was trying to move her body against Erin and force her into some sort of movement.

She relented and soon she was being propelled into the crowded makeshift dance floor, and I followed only a small stride behind her. Erin danced childishly with Claire until the girl got bored enough to leave her alone and Erin turned to escape but walked right into me.

Her small hands clutched at my shirt as she tried to steady herself and I felt my throat tighten as her hands slid down my chest her nails raking.

I felt momentarily speechless and it allowed her to make a sharp reply as she straightened herself up ready to make a escape.

"Your supposed to ask me to dance" she quipped her tongue sharp and eyes wounding as she crossed her arms accusingly.

"I don't dance" I shrugged trying to come off unfazed but the situation was anything but. People were bumping up against us and Erin seemed ready to cry.

"Dam" she shrugged trying to step past me but I pulled her back again my face full of a smirk that she seemed ready to wipe off.

"Doesn't mean I wouldn't for you" I reworded and she tensed for a moment her eyes flashing with apprehension before she gave me a nervous smile, her hands clenching and unclenching in a self-soothing gesture.

I allowed the bodies to push us together as we moved to the beat, a uncoordinated, jumbled tangle of limbs which knocked against one another and tried desperately to make coy contact with one another. It was like are relationship. We danced around each other, skirting around the reality of it.

Erin seemed to relax her body becoming freer as she became lost in the music I didn't recognise. It was folky with a Indie twist and she seemed to love it mouthing the lyrics to me as she through her head back and it seemed to release something different in her. Something I think most teenagers girls harboured themselves within. Music.

The circle between us was broken only by the occasional stare, or rude comment made by someone as they brushed past us and I tried to ignore the directed hate. It wasn't towards Erin. It was towards me. To my mistakes, to my relations with the Cullen's, to the wrongs I'd yet to right.

"Nice ass Purser. You need to smack that Black" Paul leered over Erin's shoulder and the Wolf in me roared up to rip him a new ass all of his own.

But she was running and I was trying to catch her, but she didn't want to be caught, she wanted to be free and I loved her enough to let her go.

I shifted in the room full of people. I'd always been a natural shapeshifter but this transition seemed instant. The Wolf took over and I homed in on Paul, allowing Jacob Black to be lost to the creature which I suppressed for a moment.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hello back on a positive note. I hope you enjoyed Jacob's POV, can't wait to update you all with the next chapter when Jake finds Erin and things get a little romantic between them! Hope you like the update, apologies to those not involved with the note above, I am so appreciative to those who continue to support and understand the reasons behind this story.  
**

 **tirbute74 thank you very much for the follow and favourite on the story, and for favourite on my profile!**

 **AtemLover1 thank you for the follow and the favourite on the story.**


	36. Chapter 36

_For Ellie, thank you for reminding me just how badass Erin is!_

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX**

 _Erin Purser_

It of-course hadn't been my intention to run away from the party, but instinct took a hold and I ran from the danger I foresaw.

It had begun with the strange stares and uncomfortable touches as I was slowly introduced to the wider circle of Jacob's friends and family. But a lewd comment from a man named Paul had me bursting through the front door, barefoot and into the woodland.

I couldn't release Jacob's reaction from my mind, his hands tearing desperately at my clothes as he tried to catch me. But my screams had stopped him and he'd fallen back, pulling Quil away from me.

The beach was bitterly cold, and the wind was howling viciously as it followed the tide forwards into land. We were in for a storm, one that would rock us before Christmas struck. I knew that much. But everything else I decided was uncertain. I pushed my hands deeper into the coat pockets and looked out onto the skyline which blurred with the horizon.

I had been sat here for hours. I felt if I moved I may crumble into grains and lose myself in the sand. I felt so fragile that a simple touch could have sent me over the edge. Despair, loss and hurt. The feelings twisted around inside me, making my body ache as I thought against my own mind.

I felt his heat before I heard him come to sit beside me. I leant towards the body heat he was emitting unable to hold myself back from it's warmth.

We didn't talk at all first. I couldn't force the words out, not without crying and Jacob allowed the audible silence to fill the small void between us.

Instead I breathed in his presence allowing his warmth to embrace my shaking body, ensuring I kept a slight distance between us, aware of the danger his touch presented. But he was so close. Every movement had his legs brushing against my own bare ones and it sent a buzz through my numb body. I looked over at him occasionally, peeping sneaky looks whenever I thought he may not be watching. But he always met my gaze with his dark stare his eyes as intense as ever.

Jacob's breath was coming out in calming waves and I used it to focus my own as I tried to copy his pattern of breaths, but I still shifted around uneasy beside him. It made me flush with every stolen glance I took at his body.

He seemed even darker skinned beside me as my pale limbs rested beside his own. He'd changed from his jeans and shirt into a pair of canvas shorts that sat at his knees and were damp from the sand. He seemed unable to process that a storm was about to hit, but still he looked perfect through the rain that melted against his skin.

I on the other hand felt grimy beside him. My velvet dress was clinging to me in ways I didn't want to consider. The dipped back had forced me to go braless and the cold weather had my nipples forcing their was through the sodden fabric. The skirt had ridden by to sit above by hips as I rested my hands on my knees focusing my eyes on the horizon, on anything but him.

"Why'd you run away Erin? All you ever do is run away from me" he demanded his answers with a stern tone that made me uncertain of what he really wanted in reply.

"I haven't run away!" I scoffed. It was of course not usual for my unexplained periods of absence, but Jacob seemed to take particular displeasure to them.

Running away meant I had no desire to return, and I sure as hell wasn't planning to sit this out until the thunder rolled in.

Jacob was muttering in Quiluete under his breath and I wanted to clamp my hand over his mouth to stop the hot words that were flooding from his angered body. He only ever seemed to curse me out in his native tongue, it was when I knew he was particularly angry.

"I just didn't want to be around people, there's a difference Jacob" I stressed.

"You ran away" he repeated ignoring my protests. "To the beach?" He added questioningly.

"I like the beach" I lied my voice a mere whisper.

"You hate the beach!" He laughed his voice deep, and his chest vibrating with contagious laughter. I giggled to, it was only light and short but it made me feel alive.

"You went to the beach because you knew no one would coming looking for you here" he decided smugly.

"You did" I corrected crossing my arms and matching his dark stare with a sudden wave of confidence.

"Yeah, well I'm different. I get you, what you think, how you feel" he defended

"You don't know anything about me!" I lied my voice tight.

"I'm the only person who gets you Erin, whether you like it or not!" He disagreed his body tense with frustration.

"No you don't Jacob! You don't get it at all. I have a list of things I should avoid and your on the top of it. Your dangerous, you scare me, you terrify me with the feelings you cause. I'm constantly paranoid about you. About what you might do, or worse what I might do to you" I seethed my voice climbing over the howling wind.

"Princess we've been through this. Screw the fucking list!" He growled and lunged towards me.

On instinct I fell back into the sand which would take forever to try and wash from my hair. But Jacob didn't stop and his body moved slowly over mine.

I couldn't meet his stare, but worse than that I couldn't find the voice in me to tell him to stop.

I didn't want him to stop.

My heart hammered against my chest so hard I thought it might just burst right through as Jacob's hands planted either side of my body, sheltering me under him. I flinched as a bolt of lightning struck above us, pressing my body up against his.

I whimpered, my hands coming up to cover my face as I heard the storm front rolling in to sit above us. But my hands were being pulled away and pushed above my head, being held firmly into the sand.

Jacob's face neared mine and his free hand slid up the dress, brushing my ribs and stroking the outline of one of my bare breasts. I rose up to him clashing my hips against his own with a desperate hiss for more.

His nose brushed against mine and I nuzzled against his face sighing as the thunder rumbled. His mouth touched my own and I groaned as the rain began to fall harder, like bullets showering us.

I pushed my body harder against his, arching to further ignite the delicious friction between us. I groaned into the kisses, each becoming more demanding. I felt his crotch jam into my hip and I tensed until his body rolled off mine and he sagged his head back into the sand.

I lay still as I watched the dark storm clouds circle above us, which now seemed strangely beautiful. I no longer viewed the danger in them, instead they represented the desire that was rolling over my body.

"Sometimes all I want to do is go up to someone and tell them. Tell them that I'm not okay, tell them how I feel, how anxious I am, how the terror is ripping through my body. But I cant so I lie. I put up this wall and I pretend I'm fine" I explained uncertain of why I was suddenly trying to justify my life to Jacob Black.

He seemed lost for words and his failure to communicate left my ego bruised. I pulled the dress down and pulled my knees up to my chest defensively.

"We should leave. You need to walk me home" I demanded feeling my skin sticky with sweat and worry.

"Just. Um. Give me a minute" Jacob grunted and shifted his body away from me, but not before I could see the reason for his discomfort.

"What is that!" I squealed horrified at his reaction.

"What?" Can't I be attracted to you Erin? Is it so hard to believe that someone might think that way about you. Just because you walk around with a stick up your arse doesn't mean everyone else is so uptight" he slammed pulling at the waistband of his shorts to readjust them.

My words failed me and I looked down at my feet, anywhere but at _that_.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Wow I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for all the amazing support some of you have given me! I am so thankful, it's amazing how much to see people connect with Erin.**

 **This story has always been written for you the readers, to try and help you guys (as well as myself) feel that we aren't quite as crazy as we may think! So despite the stick Erin has taken, and how much that has upset me, I am so, so overwhelmed by the support from the people on this site. You guys are so kind, and I am so proud and feel so humbled to hear about your own experiences with invisible conditions and illness. Keep going guys you all badasses just like Erin!**

 **Hope you enjoyed the chapter, it was a great one to be able to write! Watch this space, as the next chapter will be up and we will see what happens when Noah gets wind of Erin's and Jake's relationship.**

 **BasicMarie thank you for the favourite on the story, and especially for following and favouriting my profile that's amazing!**

 **Mrs. VampDiva Belikov thank you for the follow on the fiction. Look forward to finding some time to reading your Bella/Edward story.**

 **Jacobslover2014 thank you so much for leaving that review, it was such a positive boost for me! I'm so glad to here how much you like the story, people like you make it worth while for me posting on here. Exactly, I comepletly agree with you, anxiety is such a broad sample just like autism. Thank you so much! You have helped remind me that Erin is perfectly imperfect just the way she is :) thank you again for taking the time to leave me your thoughts.**


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVENTEEN**

 _Jacob Black_

I ducked down through the shutter door and made my approach into the warehouse building. It had been almost derelict when Noah had approached me over beginning the business. We'd been acquaintances for a while and the idea of an investment seemed like something an adult would do. Something my Father could be proud of.

But Billy wasn't proud, he was ashamed. And the Garage had become another thing I'd failed. I'd stepped away from it and left it to run itself into the ground unwilling to give up the ties I still had with the Cullen's.

The clattering of tools stilled me for a moment and Noah appeared, covered in grease and his face was worn for his age.

"You've some balls turning up here Black" he snarled and I stepped back holding my hands up defensively. But no sooner had I done so than Noah launched the wrench towards me. "Get out, now" he seethed.

I went to protest but he was speaking again his hands clenched to fists as he walked towards me.

"You know Jake, I could handle the fact that you weren't giving this your all. I got it, you were distracted. You were going through a rough patch, I could let that slide. You weren't putting the hours in, you hardly came here anymore, but whatever. I kept working my ass off to pay for Erin to go to college. But then, I find out through some mutual friend that your screwing my fucking sister. Dude, are you serious?" He cried throwing his arms out as if the very statement baffled him.

"Noah" I tried but I didn't have any justification. None that he could understand.

I took a deep breath and took a moment to find the balls to say it.

"Noah, I'm in love with Erin, your sister. I've been in love with her for a very long time. And I want what's best for her. You can be cool with it, or you can hate my guts. Whatever. But I'm not answerable to you. I'm answerable to her" I shrugged.

"You hurt her Black and I swear to God, I'll push you off one of the cliffs with rocks tied around your ankles and watch you fucking sink" he hissed and I nodded in agreement, quite certain he'd try.

"You start getting your ass back in here. My sister ain't dating no dead-beat. Now pick that goddam rench up and come and have a look at this Shevy".

* * *

The Cullen's had moved out of Forks a long time ago. It was after the encounter with the Volturi and the tension that still remained with being so close to La Push that inevitably drove them out.

It wasn't to far away. Sometimes I'd run there, through the woodland keeping out of sight as I freed my Wolf. Other times I'd ride out there unwilling to be caught up by the thoughts of the rest of the Pack.

The Cullen's new houses was up in the mountains and designed to seclude themselves from humanity and to isolate Renesme. Edward had hoped moving away would deter my visits but it only encouraged them. I had an excuse to leave La Push for prolonged period. The Cullen's became my perfect escape and they were indebted to me which changed everything.

Edward remained un-aged as he stalked out the oversized door to greet me, using his warped skills to invade my mind before we'd even made eye contact.

"Can you stop coming here with your mind full of that girl. Jacob it's unhealthy. She's a minor" Edward snarled crossing his arms and trying to bring the law crashing down upon me. As if I didn't already know what I was getting into.

"Say's the guy who hooked up with a eighteen year old when your like what? Hey, three hundred years old or something?" I quipped wanting nothing more than to knock him into next year.

Edward snarled at me and I was sure was about to correct me when Bella stepped between us.

As a Vampire she'd transitioned to lose all that was human about her and even Edward didn't look at her quite the same way anymore. She had morphed into a perfection which I didn't like nor did I particularly understand.

"What's that?" She chirped her voice light and I ducked my head unwilling to lie to her.

"Jacob's just struggling to keep his mind focused" Edward shrugged turning back to move towards the house and Bella looked sceptically between us.

"Walk with me?" I asked and it cast me back to old times. She looked uncertain for a moment as she hesitated before moving towards me and together we headed along a mountain trail and she listened like she always did.

Bella would only venture so far down the track and I suspected it was because she didn't want us to be out of Edwards reach. Bella could never fully trust me, not even now.

I kicked at the dirt as she straddled a tree stump swinging her legs at the conversation we'd been having which like so many did centred upon Erin.

"You just need to do something Jake. You can't keep going on like this. You just need to go in and sweep her off her feet. You need to make her love you like you love her. She needs a hero" Bella scoffed in frustration her legs stifling as she glared at me.

"Erin's strong, strong enough to save herself" I mumbled trying to correct the brunette.

"Then go love her!" She cried. "Jacob, go and love her, go and tell her! Stop mopping around here like some lost dog" Bella protested. "Go!" She added with a finality and with that I did.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Thank you for the follow A-Midnight-Reader.**

 **Marmite-1 thanks for the follow.**

 **inuyashademons14 thank you so much for a review, I'm glad to here that your enjoying how their relationship is developing!**


	38. Chapter 38

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT**

 _Brian Albe_

Purser had been my last lesson for the day and the sky was dark by the time I pulled up onto the driveway. She'd invited herself back for dinner and I hadn't hesitated in saying no. Christie loved her company and after today's session I think we could both do with some sort of distraction.

Erin had driven straight over the top of a mini-roundabout and I'd lost a wheel-rim in the process something she still seemed ready to breakdown about. Her sweater was tear-stained and her eyes puffy from crying for so long. Even now her eyes were watery as if she might crumble again.

The dogs where howling before we got out the car and Erin passed me a watery smile before unbuckling and stepping out into the cold nights air.

Christie through back the door beaming at the sight of the teenager and the Dane's bolted towards her springing about like it was all a game. She squealed and sank down to there level petting them as they rubbed themselves against her and I shook my head in disbelief.

The girl who feared everything had overcome something.

I embraced Christie and beckoned Erin inside for a evening filled with laughter and encounters of the day. Even Erin had a small chuckle at the fact she'd driven over a roundabout much to the bemusement of her fellow road users.

Christi half-heartedly scolded me for being to hard on the girl but the words lack the menace they required to be truly spiteful.

Erin was sat on the floor with Scooby draped across her lap when the doorbell rang. Christi was insistent she try and watch one of the television soap-dramas that she so adored and Erin was patiently trying to follow the ludicrous story lines which I would roll my eyes to while going through test routes and making notes from lessons.

I pushed the sheets aside and with some effort disembarked from the fabric sofa and moved out towards the doorway which neither dog had taken much interest in which was usual.

Twisting the multiple locks I pulled down the handle and swung the door back to reveal a sodden man stood in the rumbling storm which we had all failed to notice. Jacob shook his head trying to rid the water from him as he heaved for breath.

"I'm here to see Erin" he answered before I could even ask and I nodded in recognition. I turned to call the girl over my shoulder keeping my body blocking entrance to him through the door.

I may like the guy but I wasn't about to let him trample through here.

"Purser!" I called again this time with more authority and she finally ducked around the corner rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

She faltered in her steps for a moment before she continued her walk and I respected her for that as she tried to remain unflustered by his appearance.

"Jacob? What are you doing. How did you know I was here?" She demanded and I stepped back allowing her to step half out of the door step and into the slight rain that was running over Jacob Black.

Jacob didn't resound to her questioning and I nearly pulled her back as his arms snatched out around her and he drew her into him with a thud. His mouth descended onto hers and after a moment of rejection she linked her arms around his neck climbing his body like a tree she latched her legs around him.

He pushed their bodies closer, one hand came to rest on her back while the other braced himself against the wall that he rested her against as their mouths thought for dominance and I turned away embarrassed by the passion between them.

I pushed the door too, turning back towards the living room. Jacob Black sure new how to kiss a woman.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Short update I know, but I hope you liked the ending! We are getting closer to the big unveil a couple more chapters and the secret of the Wolves will be revealed to Erin.**

 **Brookeworm3 thanks for another review, love hearing from you! It doesn't I agree, I have been trying to write her into the story a little more as she has a lot to do with why the relationship between Erin and Jake is so strained. Thank you lovely!**

 **annycs13 thank you for the favourite!**

 **Thanks for the favourite valerie678!**

 **Thank you for the following the story TEAslytherin.**


	39. Chapter 39

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE**

 _Erin Purser_

I lay sprawled out on my stomach my legs twisting out and tangled with Quil who rested behind me his snores light in the late afternoon. Claire had gone home an hour ago and he was sleeping like the dead.

I twisted around to look at Jacob who seemed to be straining to keep himself focused his eyes filled with a lull to retire to sleep.

He was spread out in the worn armchair and had disturbed the cushion and throw with decorated it half of which was downcast to the floor.

"I think you owe me another secret" I whispered tilting my head towards his in desire for an answer and he smirked knowingly.

"So forward Purser" he laughed and I smiled a little trying to conceal a blush.

"What' you wanna know?" He asked groggily his voice thick with sleep.

"Tell me about … you. Where you go, what you do for so long" I decided pushing myself up from the floor and moving to stand above him looking down at his large frame which was beginning to tense in the chair.

"What I do?" He repeated and I nodded trying to confirm.

"I … well I guess I can tell you that, bits of it anyway" he shrugged and moved over a little in the chair encouraging me to sit beside him. I hesitated for a moment before climbing on up beside him and forcing my way into the space.

"Okay" I nodded waiting for him to speak and he looked around for a moment as if to check for any witnesses before he began.

During that small pause I took the time to study him. He seemed no older than me despite the age gap. I seemed to hold more wrinkles then him, and his figure seemed toned to perfection. The smell of engine oil lingered on his skin and it felt lullingly familiar to me. I yawned suddenly pawing at my eyes as I tried to remain awake.

"Perhaps this is a conversation for another day" he laughed and I shook my head indifferently certain I needed more from him. I'd stared at a blank screen for days unable to quite find the words I needed to write about La Push.

Jacob described a story. A story of men who shifted into Wolves and I fell asleep mid-way my imagination taking ahold and my dreams filled with shapeshifters.

* * *

My breath caught and a stitch in my side was pulsating. I ground to an ungraceful stop midway through the forestry and tried to get my barring. But somewhere along the way one tree had blurred to another and I was off centred from my position in the wood.

I could hear something audible in the distance and I steadied myself on a trunk trying to calm my breathing enough to take it in.

The trees were eerie tonight. A thick fog had rolled up from the hills to weave it's way between the trunks.

"What are you doing?" Demanded a voice from the mist and I inhaled sharply turning towards the sound of Quil. My heartbeat fluttered a bit, as if it was dancing a jig and I tightened my grasp to keep from falling.

"Running" I puffed into the darkness waiting until at last Quil emerged looking disheveled and throwing a nervous glance across his shoulder.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking questions!" I snapped pushing away from the tree and trying to warm myself up shifting between my feet. "What the hell are you doing walking around the woods half-dressed gone midnight?" I questioned.

"Tribe stuff" he shrugged but I was unsatisfied by the response.

"So we just happened upon one another?" I demanded.

"You happened upon us actually" he corrected and I blew him off moving back to a gentle jog and trying to leave him. This night becoming so strange I was beginning to question whether it could truly be reality.

"Why the hell are you out in the woods gone midnight?" He questioned after me.

"Anxiety" I spat the word out like it was a dirty as I pawed at the sweat that was collecting on my palms.

"Oh right … want to get some cake?" He questioned and I paused mid-stride, before completely losing my pace altogether.

"Cake" I repeated "cake would be good" I mused with a small smile. Not questioning where he was intending to find Vegan cake at this hour in the morning.

"Good" he laughed and I nodded in agreement.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Thank you all for the overwhelming continued support that this story is getting. I am so touched and honoured by your words of kindness and reviews, it is so beautiful to hear how Erin is resonating with so many of you, stay strong!**

 **Erin is getting closer to the truth and it is definitely supressed down there somewhere in her subconscious, next chapter will be a shocker I promise!**

 **Sparkplugs thank you for the follow on the story.**

 **Brookeworm3 glad you enjoyed the scene and especially the kiss! She is making progress which is of course a good think and I agree hehe.**

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 **Thanks for following the story Magic1623**

 **mchurch1992 thank you so much for both the follow and the favourite! Also much appreciation or the review it was very kind of you to leave me your thoughts. I think your right that it will she is really starting to make some progress with her fears and as I continue to write ahead I can see how she is starting to change as a person. I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering with anxiety, it is a horrible condition. I get that Erin is a pretty extreme example but I'm glad that she has relatable tendencies for you and other people. I'm the same anxiety can be something as simple as not wanting to walk into a shop or make a phone call. Thanks again for the support.**

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	40. Chapter 40

**CHAPTER FORTY**

 _Jacob Black_

"She'll rip you a new ass Jake" Quil decided taking a chug of his drink.

"Right after we pick her up off the floor" Embry added and I snarled neither of them doing anything to help ease the situation.

Erin had happened upon a Pack meeting in the middle of the woods while out running and, Quil had been forced to intervene before things got out of hand. Erin was remembering things. She was remembering and as her understanding of the Tribe history grew so did her desire for the truth.

"She could take it well" Emily suggested trying to be helpful but her input seemed lacklustre in reflecting Erin's personality.

"I doubt it" Embry laughed. "Erin will likely need hospitalising, then arresting for murdering Jacob. That girl swings from emotional wreck to fucking hurricane anger levels" he shrugged as if it was a common fact.

"For a friend you sure talk shitty about her!" I snarled and Embry shrugged again as if to further annoy me.

"Should hear the things she says about me" he laughed but I new there was no malice in his words. After all they were nothing but true. Erin's feelings fluctuated and I didn't know what side of her personality I was hoping for. I'd prefer her to attack me than have a panic attack when it came down to it.

"So what's the plan. You cant just shift on her can you? I mean that'll freak her out to much. But then if you start stripping off that'll just send her into a even bigger melt down" Quil laughed a little as he contemplated the idea.

"I'd stake ten bucks on it that Purser clouts him one" Paul decided suddenly coming into the kitchen followed by Rachel who didn't even dignify the conversation with a comment. Her eyes glared at me for a moment before she nudged Paul towards the other room and away from a potential fight.

"I fancy my odds better. I say she gets hospitalised" Embry decided rummaging around for some money to throw on the table.

The anger was already stoking within me. I could feel the violent shake of my skin and I was about to lose control.

"No, I bet she'll leave your sorry ass for someone else" Quil finished and it was all it took to tip me over, and I flipped the table up as I shifted into a Wolf a fierce growl ripping through my throat.

No one shifted to knock me back. No one spoke about Emily's broken table. Sam didn't even appear to tell me to get the hell out. They all looked behind me at the wordless muttering of Erin as her books dropped to the floor and she froze trapped by fear.

* * *

 **Authors Note: A short chapter, but hopefully a dramatic one none the less. I hope you liked it, please leave me a review with your thoughts! I will be following this chapter with a chapter from Quil, and then Erin (I am super excited to post Erin's POV to you guys!)**

 **Something else I want to mention is WOW how did we make it to chapter forty guys, that's just flown by. Thank you everyone who has been with me on this story for the beginning and those who are just starting to find it, massive thanks for all the support and views.**

 **Guest review, thanks for taking the time to leave me a review! I'm glad your enjoying the stories. Yes, it's been mentioned before and it is something I am aware of. I do obviously read through the chapter before posting it but clearly miss things, and typing can lead to unplanned errors. I have looked for a beta reader, to proof read but this has so far been unsuccessful but it is still something I am interested in using to improve this story. Thanks again.**

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	41. Chapter 41

**CHAPTER FORTY-ONE**

 _Quil Altera_

I was funnelling through Jacobs conversation replying half-heartedly to what was necessary while concentrating my senses on judging Erin's approach.

Her feet drummed about outside, down the driveway as she stalled contemplating the safety of the situation she was about to enter. If only she knew, if only she could possibly understand what lay behind the doors of this little house.

Embry has suggested we stage an attack of Erin without Jacob's consent. Last night she'd come close, to close to finding out the tribes secret and now we needed to force it to ahead. Jacob wasn't ready to deal with the repercussions of his lies but it wasn't an option anymore.

So I invited Erin over, and angered Jacob enough to make him shift into a wolf. The timing was perfect and Erin opened the door to see Jacob morphing .

The books she was holding dropped first to the floor and then a muttering took over her. The room seemed to turn to watch her as her hands clenched and unclenched and her words jumbled into inaudible chatter.

Jake was snarling. He was stalking towards me but I couldn't react. All I could do was stare at Erin. A tear ran down her face and I wanted to run over to her and ease the pain she must have felt. But I couldn't. So I stared on lamely.

Erin's emotions raced across her face and I struggled to keep track of her reaction.

Jacob's anger was building. He was blocking Erin from his mind and I called out to her as she began to turn away. With unsteady legs she moved back out of the door, leaving the books on the ground, and us all in her wake. I listened until I could no longer hear her footfall. Until she was fully gone before I shifted and finally Jake collided into me knocking up into the kitchen were we began ripping at each other's flesh.

* * *

The room was hot and sticky and Emily sat in silence across from me in the lounge. Her face was tight with anger and but her glare was focused on Embry for the most part. I felt a nervous flutter that perhaps I'd gotten away with reacting to him but Sam entered and I realised perhaps I was still in hot water.

"Are you mad?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'm all kinds of mad!" Emily exploded and even Sam seemed taken back as she stood leaning towards me. "You were reckless, callous, and wrong Quil" she seethed sitting abruptly and looking for Sam to underpin her argument.

He tensed of a moment looking between us before speaking. "He could have hurt her. You know that. It was a stupid thing to do Quil. If Jacob would have lost control, if Erin wouldn't have run away then who know's what situation we'd be in now" he warned.

I bowed my head a little for the most part trying to look repentant.

"Now get out of this house and try to find Jacob, before he finds Erin" Sam instructed.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hello lovely people, a short update I know, but if I'm feeling up to it over the weekend I will update with Erin's version of events!**

 **Thank you for the follow on the story.**

 **Guest reviewer thank you from leaving me your thoughts, I'm glad you share in my excitement and hope it lives up to expectations!**

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	42. Chapter 42

**CHAPTER FORTY-TWO**

 _Erin Purser_

My name is Erin Purser and my life is spent trying to avoid anything dangerous.

Drugs.

Alcohol.

Smoking.

Cars.

Motorbikes.

Boats.

Planes.

Animals.

People.

Feelings.

Boys.

Lifts.

Heights.

Woodland.

Germs.

Storms.

Water.

Sex.

And Jacob Black, especially Jacob Black.

Scratch that.

My name is Erin Purser and my life was spent with everything dangerous.

Smoking.

Cars.

Motorbikes.

People.

Feelings.

Boys.

Woodland.

Storms.

And Jacob Black, especially Jacob Black.

That's better.

At first I had ran, ran until I had tripped over a stump, fallen down cutting my hands and vomited. But I got back up again and ran again until I reached the house. I lingered on the porch steps waiting to see if someone would come out. If someone was waiting for me but nothing moved inside.

Noah would be at the garage. My Mother at work. My Grandmother in a care home, and Paige visiting her.

I pulled myself up the steps hardly trusting my legs anymore and opened the door.

My feet had just crossed the freshold when he stepped forward to present himself, and I began to scream.

It was a blood curdling shriek that only grew as he stalked towards me.

I screamed right up until he came to a stop in front of my body, are clothes brushing and breaths mingling.

I forced out my breaths, shallow and desperate as my mind screamed in terror but my body held me stubbornly still.

"I am not scared of you Jacob Black, whatever you are" I warned my breathing erratic.

He frowned, the muscles in his forehead tensing.

"Not even a little?" He mocked cocking an eyebrow and my body involuntarily shook.

"No" I gasped clenching my hands tightly and releasing them, doing it again and again and again.

"Well you should be" he warned, forcing me back with his body. He pushed at me and I stumbled back under his force until we hit the front door.

"I'm not afraid of you …. Because you're a coward" I muttered and he turned his head to the side and chuckled.

"I am the descendant of Taha Aki, I have the genes of shape-shifter. I have become the strongest Wolf in are Pack. I have battled, I have killed, I have hunted. A bullet straight through my head couldn't kill me, and you think I'm a coward?" He questioned his eyes narrowed.

"You're a coward Black. A bigger coward than I ever thought possible. You were scared to tell me, you lied to me, you concealed this. You made me think I was mad …" I broke of shaking my head in a disgust.

"I am not a coward" he growled.

"Are to!" I cried gutting my chin out and glaring him down.

"I am not a coward" he thumed his eyes narrowing as he backed me further into the door his arms caging around me.

"Coward!" I screeched in his face and he flinched back.

"I get it … I know what you want. You want me to shift. You want to see me loose control again. You want to see the Wolf don't you, and you think you will if you make me angry" he smirked and I shook my head as I clenched my hands.

I knew enough of the legends. I wasn't stupid. Today hadn't been the first time I'd seen a wolf. I'd seen this before, a long time ago and I was made out to be crazy.

"Are you angry?" I snarled squirming in his hold.

"I'm always angry" he shrugged stepping back from me and beginning to pull of his clothes. I wanted to melt into a puddle beneath the door, my eyes unable to move from him as he de-clothed.

Then he was shifting his body morphing instantly to fill the hallway and I wanted to scramble the wall to escape him. He was long and broad his height challenging and for a moment he crouched back, his mouth opened to reveal a piercing set of teeth and he growled, it was low and snarling. I held my breath unable to breathe, the colour drained from my lips and I felt my head begin to go foggy.

It's eyes, his eyes, they were the same. Dark, pools of unimaginable depth and intelligence.

I fumbled behind me pawing for the door handle but the Wolf snarled louder and I dropped my shaking hand.

My ears were ringing and my thoughts had jumbled into nothingness. I became more lightheaded and I was slumping, falling down towards the floor.

But the Wolf was gone, and Jacob was there holding me up, stopping my fall. But I couldn't feel his touch, his contact wasn't searing, it was just numb. Numb because of the tingling that had taken hold of my body, spreading it's way all the way out to my extremities.

"Breathe Erin" Jacob grunted. "Goddamit Erin breathe!" He insisted giving me a firm shake and I took in a huge breathe which hurt my lungs and I eased it out my fingers gripping onto his forearms as I tried to keep myself upright.

"You're a Wolf" I muttered.

"A angry wolf" he teased his face playing a handsome smile. "We go by the term Shape-Shifter" he added.

"You've been one since … since we were children?" I demanded.

"There's a lot I need to explain" he began gingerly.

"Not from you. I can't do this with you" I shook my head insistently unable to accept it. "I don't want anything left out. I cant trust you ever again. You lied to me" I seethed.

"There's the Pack, a Pack of us I should say. Quil, Embry … they're you know" he broke of looking away from me for a moment.

"They lied to me?" I whispered feeling a lump in my throat forming.

"They lied for me" he corrected. "I couldn't tell you, I didn't want you to know" he admitted.

"You made my friends deceive me!" I shrieked shoving at his broad chest which rose out to meet me defensively. It was like shoving a wall.

"This is exactly why you couldn't know. Because of this. Shit Erin look at you, just look at the state of you!" He exclaimed his voice terse.

"Look at me?" I laughed. "Look at you … you, you animal!" I cried jabbing a finger towards him and he laughed at me.

He actually laughed at me.

My mind leapt about trying to factor together what was going on, and the panic attack that I was managing to hold back for a moment.

"Your naked" I remarked flashing my eyes down for a moment. "Jesus Christ your fucking naked!" I screeched suddenly processing what I'd said and covering my eyes.

"Sorry Princess, it's just me. Jesus Christ hasn't been resurrected" he mocked.

"Get your clothes on" I insisted. "Before Noah walks in and sends us both to meet are maker" I warned and didn't look until he prised my hands away.

"You weren't so bothered before" he laughed.

"Bothered. Jacob you were turning into a Wolf, and I was having a panic attack. Your stripping naked was the least of my worries" I seethed.

"Well at least I know when to pick my moments" he joked but my face remained stern as my stomach churned with nausea.

"You should leave" I gestured towards the door.

"I should" he agreed looking at it blankly. "But I'm not going to" he added.

"Not even if I ask nicely?" I mocked and he blinked a few times at me.

"Leave. Now" I instructed with a finality. "I'll come and find you. When I'm ready. But right now … right now I need to just restructure my entire understanding of the Universe and everything in it".

"So I'll maybe see you Saturday?" He joked but I turned my back, only allowing myself to cry when he closed the front door behind him.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **A quick update! Please review guys!**

 **MagicBrownie thanks for following the story.**

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 **Thanks for following Hair Pin Curve Azalea.89.**


	43. Chapter 43

**CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR**

 _Brian Albe_

Erin had been ill with flu for the last two weeks. But rumour had it her flu was really a mental breakdown which had ended up with her being sent to a therapist. People were banding around the words depression and anxiety like we were in a game of baseball.

But she was back and waiting for me when I pulled up outside her drive.

I looked her over for a moment trying to identify her distinguishing features and decide for myself what might have changed.

She looked a little peaky. Paler definitely and lacking a little substance to her frame but apart from that she seemed like Purser alright. She had her running clothes on and the redness in her cheeks made me think she'd only just come back from one.

With clenched hands she bobbed towards me and climbed down into the car slamming the door hard enough to make me flinch at the damage she was inflicting to the vehicle.

"I don't want to drive anywhere today" she noted not putting her seatbelt on and lulling her head against the rest.

"Your paying me how many dollars an hour to sit and be your therapist?" I laughed and she tensed a little before smiling.

"No. Noah pay's a guy called Dr. Mangle to do that. He's far above your pay-grade" she assured and I had to laugh at little at that.

"What do you want to do then for two hours Purser?" I questioned turning to look at her.

She looked reasonably healthy, her eyes weren't quite as shadowy as usual and her pupils seemed wide and active.

"Something good, tell me something good Brian" she asked and I faltered for a minute.

But for whatever the reason be I did. I sat and told Erin Purser everything that I felt to be good with the world and I watched her smile, I relished in her laughter and the breaths she gasped for as she giggled so hard she snorted.

I relished in telling Erin what was good.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Wow Brookeworm3 that was like the speediest review I've ever had! Thank you! I agree she has had it pretty rough with this news being dropped on her. And unfortunately Jacob kind of only fuels the issues, however I love having them argue and their personalities rile one another. Yes, they are both very, very stubborn. Thanks for the review.**

 **CaptainCumberbatch thank you for favouriting the story!**

 **Guest thank you for the review! I'm glad to I know it was certainly about time. Well knowing Erin something reckless, and potentially dangerous.**

 **My thanks to for favouriting the story!**

 **Sonic Bug-a-boo thank you for following the story.**


	44. Chapter 44

**CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE**

 _Jacob Black_

"Dam Princess" I cursed letting out a soft whistle from are concealed position across the street.

She was like a woman possessed, she just didn't know when to stop. I stepped forwards and was about to stop her but Quil jerked me back shaking his head firmly.

Erin looked down at the machine on the lawn, shook her head and stamped back into the house. She emerged only a minute later and I looked over her creamy legs that stuck out under the shorts feeling my mouth go dry.

Her gaze was intent and she circled the contraption eyeing it with caution like it was something wild. She paused turned her head to the side analysing it before sighing.

Noah was away at a car show, he'd been hand picked at the last minute to fill in for a mechanic at the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series and I was a little jealous. But his absence had forced me into the garage and since then Erin had been avoiding the place like the plague and her sister Paige had been sending me menacing glares every chance she got.

It wasn't just the garage Noah put me in charge of. He'd be gone for a little while, which meant he tasked me with keeping Erin in check.

Not that it was going to be an easy task. She wouldn't even be within a five mile radius of me.

I felt a little guilty at how blissfully unaware Noah was about the hole situation. He had no clue about what had unnerved Erin so much. He told me he'd made her see a therapist again. It was one of those really expensive ones, and he reckoned she hadn't even spoken during a session yet.

Dam stubborn was Purser.

"She'll blow herself up" I grunted looking at her with the lawnmower and considering for a moment that it was perhaps her plan all along.

"Look she'll be fine. Don't be so negative" Quil snapped and I glared on.

Negative. I wanted to rip Quil in two and spit him out on Erin's lawn.

"I cant watch this" I insisted stepping forwards but he lugged me back again.

"Are you crazy dude! Do you want her to friggin pass out on her front lawn, or worse through the lawnmower at you and have you turn into a wolf right there and then!" He demanded.

I snorted. "As if I'd shift" I snorted at his doubt in my self-control.

"I'm pretty sure if Purser through a lawnmower at you, you'd shift Jake" he snubbed.

"Lets put it to the test" I smirked stepping out across the road and towards her.

It only took a few strides to reach her and she shot upright her hands grasping around the mowers handle and her eyes dark.

"Don't you need a license to be handling one of those?" I teased.

"Go to hell Jacob" she snarled.

"Come on Princess" I begged.

"Get off my lawn before I mow you down and feed you to Quil and Embry in a pie" she hissed her face emotionless.

"You wouldn't dare" I teased but forced myself to keep quite when she pulled the starter cord and the engine roared to life.

"Don't test me Black" Erin warned and I wanted to laugh, hell I probably would have had it of been anyone but her. But this was Erin, messed up, unstable Erin.

"So I got a little bored waiting for you to restructure your world and stuff" I admitted.

"So you thought you'd come find me" she processed.

"I did try and stay away" I shrugged. "It's harder than you'd think" I added.

"Move please" she requested moving forward with the lawnmower which sliced through the lawn. I stepped back onto the pavement waiting politely until she'd done the entire lawn.

It seemed to infuriate her the harder I stared, and I had to admit her temper was turning me on. So I stared harder.

I eyes up her curved figure, rounded arse, creamy thighs, bruised knees, fleshly shaved legs, tight shorts and band shirt. I glared at her messy hair and red eyes which were bloodshot. I glared at her concentration and she tried to keep her breaths even but her nervous shake gave her anxiety away to me.

Erin stopped abruptly tripping over the cable she stumbled to an ungraceful halt and puffed the hair from her eyes.

"You. You and your lies, your deceit, your behaviour. I know I haven't even begun to understand it properly Black. But my God when I do I am going to be coming down on you with all sorts of evils. You just wait. I'm going to write you. Im going to write all of you and bring you and your little secret down with me!" Erin hissed her eyes menacing as she stood up to her full height.

I hadn't expected an outburst. Let alone a threat from her.

"You think people would believe you?" I accused my tone more mocking than it should have been but it flared her up.

"Your right, who would believe little psychotic Erin anyway? Well I guess we'll find out soon enough wont we" she smiled.

"I live in fear Jacob, fear everyday, from an anxiety you have added to. So now it's time you lived in fear. Fear of me" she hissed.

"Erin have you been taking your medication" I demanded trying to silence her ranting.

"Have I been taking my medication!" She shrieked and I wondered what was holding Quil from coming bombing out of the woods and towards us.

"Your sick" I tried to state but she swatted down my feeble attempt of understanding.

"I am sick Jacob. I am sick of your lies. Of your betrayal. I am sick of the sight of you, get of my lawn, get out of my property and get the hell out of my life!" She cried the tears beginning to mark at her wild face.

I backed away slowly not daring to turn my back on her.

"See you around then, Princess" I added for effect and she began to physically shake. I watched her as the tears became to much and her persona dropped away until it was just Erin. My beautiful, psychotic Erin crouching into the grass, curling herself up as a sob racked through her and a rasping panic attack wrapped through her small body.

I turned my back on her which was a betrayal. I should have stayed with her. A better man would off, could off.

But I was about to shift and my strides left Quil behind as I dashed towards the woods the Wolf taking over me.

"Well that went as well as could be expected" Quil mocked and it was all it took to send me over the edge and I shifted instantly letting out a fierce growl that I'm sure she could hear.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Uploaded quickly so not proof-read. Please leave me a review!**

 **thank you for the favourite on the story!**

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	45. Chapter 45

**CHAPTER FORTY-SIX**

 _Erin Purser_

My name is Erin Purser.

That's what I told myself, that was my coping technique.

My name was Erin Purser and I was dangerous.

I suppose that was no real revelation. Not to the people who knew me. But I think Jacob finally saw it. Jacob Black saw that I could be far more terrifying that any shapeshifting Wolf could be.

"Erin" my sister Paige barked my name looking down at me over her account sheets. I was waiting for Black, I was buzzing for a confrontation but so far he'd stayed away and I was on my third mug of undrunk coffee.

"Yes" I quipped gnawing at a nail before biting it square off.

"That is throughly unhygienic" she quipped curling her lip in disgust before continuing with her original line of thought. "I think you should go for a run" she shrugged looking at my beat up trainers. "Like right now please, your making me feel anxious just looking at you" she scolded but my glare shot her down, but only for a moment.

"Do you know what you need?" She proposed looking over me. Noah's head was buried inside a car and he'd seldom spoke to us.

"A long, hard …" she was cut of mid-sentence.

"Fuck" Noah boomed and I heard the slamming of tools. "Fucking bastard bolt".

"I couldn't have worded it better myself" Paige laughed and I blushed with a fury.

"I do not need to, or intend on getting laid" I hissed under my breath.

"Good" Noah called out and I jumped at his selective hearing.

"I cant even believe we are talking about _sex_ " I cried out repulsed pushing myself up and beginning to move from the garage. A run wouldn't do any harm.

I had my backpack strung over my shoulder and my outfit fixed, hair tied back by the time I was out of the shutter door.

I veered almost instantly from the walkway climbing a steep ravine to get into the denser woodland which took some wide strides to achieve. My heart was pounding, my head hurting and mind reeling by the time I broke into a run.

The path was uneven as I rolled over a few times on my ankles as the ground slipped a little from the vast rainfall we'd had.

My face still felt soft from the facial I'd had on a spa trip I'd been on with Paige. It was a treat from Noah and we'd reluctantly bonded over the jacuzzi and massages. I couldn't say we were getting on like a house on fire but perhaps we were at least reasonably civil to one another now.

My feet continued to pound the ground in a pace I couldn't keep up.

But then it hit me. Or I hit it. Either way we were skidding through the mud, I rolled a few times before hitting my back up against a trunk.

I cried, my voice shrill and my screams only peaked as something furred, an animal certainly came to nuzzle against my face. I inhaled deeply realising it was a wolf. Realising it was Jacob Black, as a Wolf.

I lost it then.

I struck out surging my hand forwards so I punched the Wolf fully in the snot as I shot obscurities at him. He didn't flinch just whimpered a little as I began to rake in shaken breaths. My hand was pulsing, I shook it hard trying to bring feeling back into it but I was uncertain I could even move it.

The wolf surprised me further, its tongue coming out to lick at the split knuckles and I was about ready to kick Jacob in the nuts, but the irrational part of my mind had taken over.

Erin had to step out for the room for a minute.

My breaths we're gaps. Forced through my teeth as my hands stretched out as if trying to clutch for the air myself. I shoved my head between my legs trying to push aside the rolling waves of nausea that had stared to ensue.

The panic attack eased up after a few minutes as the Wolf remained unmoving at my side.

I looked up from between my legs to glare at the Wolf. My breaths were still coming out a little ragged and I clenched my hands into tight fists trying to rationalise.

"What the hell was that you utter jerk! You could have killed me. You cant just go stalking me like that it's irrational. Your irrational. You walked right into me, you broke my goddam hand Jake!

You are the thing that scares me most you know that. More than anything on my list. You and your feelings" I seethed. "Those messy irrational feelings you cause, that you press onto me" I whimpered.

The wolf moved from me and I gasped in horror as Jacob shifted in front of me. The man had no shame. I blushed feverishly unable to look away as I took a good hard look at everything that made him a man.

He pulled on some shorts which he failed to button up and came to kneel in the dirt beside me. I flinched away as his hand reached out and he smeared the mud from my face a little but it was useless. I was covered in the stuff.

"Me loving you makes you crazy" he laughed but I narrowed my eyes to a piercing glare.

"You don't love me" I muttered but he heard and with lightning speed he ceased hold of my face.

"Get off!" I forced out my chest tightening as my inner feminist roared out that I deck him for violating me. His hands smoothed out flat against my cheeks and came up to brush some hair behind my ears.

"The truth. You want it all. I'll tell you. Today even. Right now, here. I'll do it" he assured and I wasn't sure if it was a threat.

"Do I want to hear this?" I tried to joke but neither of us laughed.

"I know you find it so hard to understand it, my love for you. But Erin, I'm a shapeshifter, a powerful one. When I first shifted, when I was a lot younger something happened between the two of us. I was fooling around with Bella when the change came, when I first shifted. I wanted to imprint on her so fucking bad. I thought I wanted to be with her. To imprint. It's … well it's something that only happens with shapeshifters. We have this connection to a person, they're supposed to be are soul mate or whatever. It only ever happens once, pretty rare, or so it's meant to be.

But whatever. It never happened with Bella. I was pissed. Then, well then you turned up one day with Quil and I just took one look at you and it happened. I imprinted on you when you were just a kid. You were only thirteen Erin, I had no fucking clue what to do about it. I'd only just got used to the fact I was a Wolf. So I just rejected it. I ran away from you. I left you and pretended like it had never happened.

That's one of the reasons why everyone hates me. Because of what I did to you" he explained rushed as if he wanted to get this experience over as quickly as was humanely possible.

"Okay" I nodded my body tensed.

"That's all you can say. Erin I just fucking told you … jeeze I just told you I've been in love with you since you were a child and all you can say to me is Kay. We've got this earth shattering connection going on, something rare, something unique. And you say that?" He demanded getting suddenly angry.

"Of course it's not okay" I screeched finally loosing it more than perhaps he'd ever seen. "Of course it isn't okay that you have never told me you imprinted on me. Of course it isn't okay you, you and everyone I love kept this secret from me for years. It's not okay that you made me feel like I was crazy. I'm not okay with you only just telling me about any of this" I hissed building to my final line.

"It's not okay you pined after Bella when really you should have been loving me!" I screamed the jealousy riding up in me.

"I'm going to kiss you Erin Purser" he announced looking into me with those piercing eyes.

"Like hell you are Black" I scoffed.

I kissed him before he could kiss me. I initiated it. Because I wanted him just as much as he wanted me in that moment and I fell on top of him. My hips smacking against him as we tousled about on the forest floor. His hands were everywhere, touching everything. My lips pulled at his demanding his attention.

"Erin stop" Jacob startled me freezing for a moment. I was blushing and breathless with my desires curling up inside me.

I looked at him my eyes bright and questioning.

"Not like this. I'm not taking you like this" he caressed my face and I recoiled at the rejection.

"Who said anything about you having my virginity Jacob!" I hissed climbing off him and beginning to push myself to my unsteady feet. My head still spinning with lust.

"What? That wasn't were this was going" he mocked and I glared at him.

"Come on. Let's go get a shower and get your hand looked at" he suggested walking away before I'd agreed.

I wanted to flip him off, but I followed him.

At first I thought made Jacob would take me home, but to my relief we went to his house. We walked in a silence neither was willing to break.

As we reached his apartment I found myself starting to relax. I was tiered and my body was beginning to ache. Jacob was carrying my backpack for me but I still felt weighed down.

It was as he pushed opened the door and stepped inside I finally allowed my guard to drop. The tears streamed on there own accord and I paused, slathered in mud in Jacob's hallway feeling like the most undesirable person in the world. But he was looking at me like I was his world.

"You wanna take a shower" he asked and at first I was hoping he was going to join me but he went to the kitchen and took a beer from the fridge and slid it around on the counter unwilling to open it. I left him in his mulling.

I spent to long in the warmth of the water rinsing myself under the expensive shower set which was more like a jet-wash. I washed in Jacob's shower gel and washed my hair with his 2-in-1 and then pulled myself into a pair of his boxers and sweatshirts before descending down stairs.

Jacob spluttered a bit on his mouthful of beer and I pulled the sweater down trying to conceal my pale legs from him and his ogling eyes. Quil looks like he wants to face-palm as he looked between us and I wondered who invited him along.

I walk past both of them without comment as I brace myself for what is about to follow.

I pulled out the vodka bottle, it was half-full and I unscrewed the red cap and took at a glass pouring it part the way up and taking it to my nose and giving it a quick sniff.

"Give it to me. Straight up. No crap Quil. The truth all of it now, I want it now" I demanded and Quil looked a little frightened of me and I knocked the vodka back with a shift chug, choking as I did at the burn and foul taste. I unscrewed the bottle and re-filled before he'd spoken a word.

Jacob was sat in the corner, hunched up on a armchair his body just spilled out off. I passed him the occasional menacing gaze but remained focused on Quil.

And Quil said it all.

He told me everything and I mean everything that went on.

From love triangles, the Volturi, to hybrid babies and a war I took it all in.

"Take me to her. Take me to her now goddamit!" I screeched banging my fists against Quil's unwavering torso as he finally finished.

"That is really not a good idea" he warned pushing my arms away.

"Now!" I screamed stamping my foot impatiently.

"I'm not Jacob Erin. I'm not able to bend to your will because you scream at me and throw a paddy. I still have some self-control" he laughed but I didn't find it humours.

"I want to see Bella Cullen now Quil. I want to know why he has been slinking back to her every weekend when I needed him, when I wanted him" I protested.

"You see, all this loving me stuff is just bullshit. You want Bella, not me. Beautiful, mysterious Bella Cullen who was always just a little to good for you Black huh? Is that why you had to settle for me. Messed up, crazy Erin. You think I'd put up with you running between the two of us like some dog on heat. You're a joke" I snapped.

"That's note true Erin!"Jacob snarled coming to stand in front of me but I laughed bitterly at him.

"I'm better than you. Better than this" I decided. "Quil, lets get out of here" I insisted and Quil looked a little surprised I even wanted to be in the same room as him let alone a vehicle.

"No" he decided shaking his head. "No way. I'm getting out of here, and you two are going to patch this shit up. Whatever this is" he decided making a dash for the door and leaving me with Jacob.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I've been away for a little while. I've had a hectic time at work, not feeling at my best physically and also had my birthday and a festival added into the mix it's been pretty full-on. But Erin and Jacob are back and things are hotting up.**

 **Love to hear any thoughts - please put them to me in a review or PM.**

 **Raechellaa19 thank you for following the story.**

 **ITookJacobToTheDingo Thank you very much for the follow and favourite on Hair Pin Curve.**

 **DREAMLESSLY17 Thank you for the follow and favourite on the story. And much appreciation for you favouriting my profile!**


	46. Chapter 46

**CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN**

 _Jacob Black_

Erin was asleep in my bed.

Erin was asleep in my bed wearing my clothes.

Hell Erin was asleep in my bed wearing hardly any fucking clothes.

I wanted to climb all over her and do all the things I'd dreamed about doing to her. I wanted to pleasure her in ways she couldn't imagine. I wanted to make love to her.

But I turned my back on her quietly closing the door and heading out for patrol, for once relieved to used the responsibility as a scapegoat for my feelings.

Quil had left Erin with me, effectively stranding her for a moment. Of course she could have left. Despite her crippling anxiety Erin was a girl who new what she wanted and didn't wait to ask. If she wanted to leave my house she would off.

But she didn't.

Instead she drank my vodka, picked through my fridge and talked trash about me for the rest of the evening. She ranted a little about how she needed to write this all down. Erin wanted to make a article in the paper. One that would reveal all the secrets of La Push.

We'd argued over that as well.

I told her that was stupid, and reckless. But she told me that the truth was important and that living a lie was worse than revealing one.

Erin didn't get it though, this wasn't are secret to tell. She may be pissed with me, with all of us but the Elders weren't going to let her drop a article like that. I didn't want to think about what they'd want to do if they even so much as got wind of her crazed idea.

I could only hope she'd be deterred, that I could talk her out of it and instead we could focus on the limited priorities she held at the moment. Learning to drive, going to College and dealing with her anxieties. Not that they held that particular order.

I prioritised her anxiety. Erin prioritised getting to college to escape this place, and Noah prioritised her learning to drive. It was all pretty messed up really when you put it in perspective. Each thing was kind of related to the other, but instead we kept looking at them as separate issues.

The piece she'd sent of to college had been something very different from what she was talking about. It was a manuscript, or more an essay on the history of the Quiluetes, or are history. It was a memoir to the Tribe and the Reservation. Quil had cried when he read it and even I got a little emotional.

But what was burning a whole in my mind was the article she'd drafted out out for her last edition of the school paper and threatened to publish.

I was certain I was going to have to confide in someone, and it couldn't be anyone from around here. No. I wasn't sure who could be trusted with Erin's reckless threats. No one but the Cullen's.

Ducking out on my Tribal duties as well I headed for the Cullen's.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you for yet another lovely review! They really help to keep me going with this story. I agree this kiss was definitely that, and we still need more from them! I think Erin was being a little green-eyed at that point and wanted to take her anger out on Bella just as much as she did on Jake.**

 **I know they aren't going to be on the best of terms.**

 **Hehe. I agree, no vampire stands a chance against Erin, her banshee like screams could stifle anyone. I can assure you a happy ending will be on the cards! Thank you again lovely one.**

 **Newgirl5 thank you very much for the favourite and follow on the story! Your stories look cool, I look forward to having some time to read through them.**

 **Well Twin68, there relationship was naturally going to take longer than most conventional ones and I have always been open about this being a slow burn. Obviously they both have issues in the relationship which need to be worked upon.**

 **I think Erin is still just coming to terms with just wanting this relationship and what it means for her. Thanks for leaving me your thoughts and I hope you do decided to continue with the story.**


	47. Chapter 47

**CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT**

 _Erin Purser_

Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike children … it's just there a little icky. I reserved that list for all children excluding Claire but that's only because she allowed me to continuously bathe her with antibacterial gel whenever she touched me. Children made me a little nervous. They were erratic, noisy and a little wild.

I don't quite know how Jacob and Claire were strapped in behind us in the car. Well Claire was strapped in, Jacob was being irrational and felt confident enough to survive a car-crash clearly from his absent belt and the way he kept leaning over to tickle Claire. Sandwiched between them was a bulging rucksack full of everything from band-aids to gaffa tape as the list of things that could possibly go wrong with a child was never ending.

My fingers had turned white from gripping the wheel so tensely and we hadn't even driven three blocks out yet.

Jacob was babysitting Claire. But I don't think her parents had quite agreed to this.

This was dangerous.

Jacob suggested it would help my anxiety, but all it was doing was sending it to sky high levels. I'd stalled twice and had to perform an emergency stop when I nearly ran down a bird.

Every glance in the rear view mirror presented a smirking Jacob and a toothy-grinning Claire who seemed oblivious to my own torment.

It was a terrible day.

I'd argued with Paige all morning about who would move into are Grandparents room. Paige felt it should remain empty, but I could really do with the space for another bookcase. Paige had screeched back that I would be leaving soon anyway and the thought gave me a terrible sinking feeling.

This wouldn't be mine for that much longer. This place, these people. It would all be gone when I moved away for University.

I looked to Brian and gave him the look. The look which told him I was quite certain I was about to kill us all. And Brian looked right back at me, without blinking, with a look that told me I had this.

And you know what? I did.

* * *

I ran my hands over the cardboard boxes that were stacked up high and filled the attic space room. Noah had helped me paint it a pale yellow shade and we'd had a new carpet put down. I'd got a double bed from a second-hand store and fitted it out with some reclaimed furniture which gave it a chic look. It wasn't modern, and sharp like Jacob's room, but it was mine and I loved it.

"I thought you'd have unpacked by now" Jacob teased and I squealed in surprise jumping back into the stack of boxes. We were talking, being civil perhaps, but we hadn't really gotten past are last argument.

"How the hell did you get in!" I demanded pulling the towel more securely around my chest wishing I was wearing some clothes.

"The window was open" he laughed as if it was obvious and I widened my eyes in utter disbelief.

"You climbed in through my bedroom window … you, you caveman!" I cried in disgust moving over to slam it shut.

"It wasn't that barbaric Erin jeez" he sighed crossing his arms over his bare chest and I squeezed my legs together.

"Well … it's still wrong. Use the front door! I could have been doing anything!" I protested.

"You were in the shower. I was polite, I waited for you to come out. I could have just gone straight on in, pushed you up against the tiled wall and …" he teased and I gasped waving my hands about until finally I clasped my hand over his mouth demanding he stopped.

The damp towel rubbed against his toned torso and I could feel through the thin material are bodies pushing against each other, and the heat that came from him.

I inhaled slowly, which only made it worse as his scent, the smell of him running through the woods intoxicated me.

My head felt woozy and I reached out for one of his biceps to steady me.

I could feel Jacob nuzzling against my neck and his tongue licked at my skin tasting me. It pushed me over the edge and I drew my hands up my nails curling into his scalp as I dragged his mouth to meet mine and groaned into the kiss.

He was kissing me slowly, leisurely as if we had all the time in the world. As if this was something he intended to spend his whole life doing. He tasted my mouth, toying with my tongue and sucking on my bottom lip until I arched my chest up into him.

The towel was slipping away and neither of us moved to save it and it dropped fully as Jacob pulled me up onto his waist turning us so I was knocked against a wall and my naked body wrapped around his trunk.

"Jake" I whimpered as his kisses descended and his mouth dropped to my chest placing delicate, butterfly kisses that made me squirm and heat flood to my centre and I knew he could feel it.

Jake didn't waver and he was carrying me to the bed and suddenly I was in free-fall onto the new mattress, so new I hadn't even put sheets on it yet.

I pulled Jacob's head back up to my face and I kissed him hard.

Footsteps were clambering up the squeaking stairs case and a fist knocked against the door.

I froze as I was forced back into the moment.

"I'm just getting dressed at the moment, what do you need?" I called nervously feeling Jacob's body cradling over me, jarring against my own.

"Tampons" my sister called through the door.

"I'm all out!" I lied and she swore a little before thundering off back down the stairs.

I forced out a nervous breath looking up to meet Jacob's dark eyes.

"Erin if you don't put some clothes on … I … Erin I'm not going to be able to control myself. Please. Princess. Put some clothes on, I, I can't. Your not ready yet, your going to regret this. I'm not in control enough of myself yet. I might hurt you" he pleaded reached out to stroke the side of my face.

For a moment I considered resting. Forcing myself back on him, rolling us over and ripping off his shorts. But I knew that wasn't what I wanted. Not yet. Not at the moment. I was still to conflicted with my own feelings for how I felt about him.

He rose a little allowing me to slide out from beneath him and moved to get the towel which I carefully wrapped back around my body. I could feel his eyes on my naked behind and his laboured breaths.

I excused myself to get dressed and when I returned he had composed himself, and sat looking at me as if nothing had happened.

"I could help you unpack … if you like?" Jacob suggested and I didn't have the words to deny him so I wordlessly nodded in agreement.

Jake was quicker than I was, unpacking books, ornaments and clothes then breaking down the empty boxes once each was emptied.

"I think you're better with this one" he suggested moving a box onto the bed a pair of silky red knickers sliding through his hands and he coughed uncomfortably as I ogled him my head about ready to explode with hormones.

I blushed the shade of a beetroot and shoved the box under the bed without a second glance and moved quickly to alphabetise the book case.

* * *

That night I let Jacob Black sleep in my bed. He lay beside me on top of the quilts and I lay beside him, stiff and rigid and full of nerves and unexplored emotions.

But I slept, and when I woke in the middle of the night, my head racing from thoughts of Wolves and Vampires he was there. He held me and he kissed me, and he soothed me back to sleep.

In the morning he was gone. But the night would forever be are own.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **An update as I have had some crazy bout of inspiration after a couple of beers last night and have typed up the last few chapter on the story! So it's all sat waiting to be uploaded, so excited to see what you make of it all. Thank you for your continued support.**

 **Brookeworm3 I know he's being completely irrational at the moment! Silly Jacob but at least I hope he is starting to redeem himself in this chapter! Thanks for the review.**

 **TheAmazingMaya And babiix3 thank you for following the story!**


	48. Chapter 48

**CHAPTER FORTY-NINE**

 _Brian Albe_

I called … for the sixth time and ground my teeth as the phone rolled through to the annoyingly chirpy voicemail of my wife. Not only was it half-four in the morning, but it was half-four in the morning and she wasn't in bed.

Erin had absconded with Christie for a concert hours ago and I was still waiting on there return. The dogs were pacing the hallway and my tension was giving me a headache. I took a swig of whisky and tried to shake it off.

They were fine. I knew that.

But they were in a strange state, listening to some weird music that I'd never heard off, with some pretty odd balls for company.

Anything could go wrong, especially where Erin was concerned.

* * *

I had cancelled my first three lessons clearing a time slot long enough for Christie to talk herself out of this one.

She looked like butter wouldn't melt cooking pancakes across from me by the hob.

Erin was in a deep-sleep in the front room and I couldn't decided who would call for her first, her brother or muse.

"Your tense" Christie noted and I barked a sharp laugh.

"Tense … you rolled in an hour ago and your up dressed, made up, and making breakfast like nothing happened!" I snapped feeling a little cheesed off that I might have missed out on something.

"I let my hair down one time …" she snapped whirling round and turning her southern accent on me as she jabbed the spoon my way. It was broken, hardly there now, you'd never know she wasn't local.

"You went out to a concert, you listened to some music that was all right?" I demanded pressing her for what she was concealing.

"Yes and maybe we smoked some pot, but I'll have you know cannabis has many medicinal purposes and maybe it did that young girl some good!" She countered and I was glad I was sat down for I felt suddenly overcome with the urge to faint. Something I'd never experienced before.

"You … you smoked pot!" I accused spluttering on the words. Maybe we'd done it once, but that was years ago when we were teenagers, free-wheeling, partying teens that said screw-you to the consequences of life.

"I smoked a little, Erin had some to. It was a one off. She told me about how she feared stuff like that. There was a guy smoking some mid-way through and she just came straight out and asked for a drag. He lit her up with one. She was all for it after that" my wife shrugged and I tensed at her flippancy.

"Erin's a child!" I accused.

"Hey! I was younger than her when you got me into the stuff!" Christie slammed back the accusation and I winced at the memory. We'd both been on some bad-stuff back then. Cannabis was nothing compared to some of the drugs I'd dabbled in but I put that way back in my past.

"She's not mentally stable Christie! Erin is a fucking psycho. She needs to be committed. Hell she's borderline insane. Erin is a loonie, a fruit loop she isn't like other people! You don't get people like that smoking pot" I insisted and she flinched at the words. They were harsh and scathing and not really true.

Erin may have issues, but I had grown found of her, founder than I cared to admit. I wanted to protect her, and part of me felt like she'd been violated, I saw her as fragile. But really she was anything but.

The front door slammed with a firmness and the dogs scratched at it, desperate to follow her.

She must of heard me. I cursed a string of expletives before grabbing my coat and trying to catch her before she did anything irrational.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Only a small chapter update this time guys I'm afraid. But hey! Erin has kicked another one of her fears to the curb. Next we have Erin on her way to New York to visit her University/College. Chaos ensues.**

 **Brookeworm3 thank you for another kind and generous review full of positivity!**

 **Bookapillar7 Thank you for following the story.**


	49. Chapter 49

**CHAPTER FIT**

 _Erin Purser_

"Pack light Erin" Noah warned from the doorway which he was loitering in. My first attempt had failed as Noah seemed to think it impossible for airlines to allow me to pack for every eventuality.

I had suggested we drive to New York. But Noah had reminded me statistically speaking a plane was safer, although this did little to ease my worry. He didn't mention anything about the statistics of being killed while driving to said airport to get on said aeroplane.

"I need _all_ of these things Noah!" I scoffed looking down at the collected items that would serve me during the long weekend.

"Well you can't have it!" He shouted finally losing his calm and slamming the bedroom door so hard a tiny crack appeared up above in the plaster.

Paige appeared an hour later and after three attempts and us both sitting on the case we'd halved the contains and she'd assured me I really didn't need to take three mobile phone chargers, a first aid-kit or a stash of food.

I refused to unpack the Rape Whistle, Pepper-Spray or Vegan body creams.

"They'll take that all off you at the airport" she scoffed flicking her hair from side to side with a frustrated head shake. I shrugged and eyeballed her a little more.

Sebastian pured a little more and stretched out on top of the case before rolling onto his back and extracting his claws pathetically. Even my cat sucked.

Paige flicked her eyes between us and frowned.

"Whose going to feed it" she accused as if it was a task too complex for her undertaking and our Mother would never offer.

"Sally will" I snapped back walking over to pull the protesting Sebastian to my flesh and squashing him into my chest.

"Can you stop burning that stuff" she noted sniffing the air with a curl of her lip as if to highlight her dissatisfaction.

I turned to the rose incense that wasn't yet even half burned in it's wooden block case and sniffed the air. I took a deep breath inhaling the calm the smell brought upon me.

"No" I snubbed turning my back on her and waiting until the door was slammed for the second time that day.

* * *

Noah was storming through the arrivals lounge in New York, single handily carrying all are luggage by himself and throwing me the discreet glance to make sure I was still behind him. This was Noah's attempt at being pissed off.

The flight had been delayed. Some crazy hysterical girl in the back row was having a bit of a meltdown.

There was a reason we don't have wings. Humans are not meant to enter the sky. I realised this as I suddenly explained to Noah in a feverous wail I hadn't checked the weather update and the plane could be struck by lightning.

Noah angrily whispered for me to shut the hell up.

He was angrily telling me to get back in my seat.

And he was bellowing down the isle after me as I got up and tried to get myself of this flying box.

Somehow we were in New York and Noah was adamant we would be returning by plane and was refusing to cancel the ticket, against the airlines advice.

"Noah!" I hissed a little to loudly and people turned to look at us both.

We must have made an odd pairing I suppose.

He crossed his broad arms and tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for me. He was giving me that look. Begging me not to have a breakdown in arrivals. But I couldn't help it … I was crying before I could even speak and the bags were slipping from his shoulders and he was reaching out to touch me but hesitated.

"I … Noah I cant leave La Push, I can't can I?" I whimpered feeling a unfillable void in my body and an absence that was burning into my skin. I'd never been this far away before. I felt physically sick.

"The hell you cant" he snubbed frowning so thick creases formed on his brow.

Women were eyeing up Noah and had I of been feeling more reasonable I wouldn't have given them scornful glares.

"But you'll be all on you own. Who will help at the garage. And Paige she … well she'll get the best bedroom and it will be like I never existed in that house. Then there's Mum. She'll be relieved. Dad won't even notice I'm gone. I … Noah. No one will really care will they. No one but you?" I whimpered reaching out to latch my hands onto his arms gripping him fiercely.

"What do you mean Erin! Don't be so ridiculous. Of course people will care. I care. I am going to miss you every dam day you silly woman. As for Brian, well I'm sure certain he's going to be a little hung up about it, and his wife, they idolise you. What about Quil and Embry huh? Claire, do you think she'll just forget about you? Then there's Black …" he broke off and I could tell the last words had strained him to say.

"Now don't you ever say anything like that again!" He warned grabbing my chin and looking me square in the eyes. I ripped myself free from his grip and pawed at the tears.

I should have felt better.

Reassured that I would be missed.

But the hole in my heart was just being torn bigger and I walked through that weekend in a medicated-zombie like state, just about functioning enough to nod and smile when necessary and grunt at the appropriate stages.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I've been meaning to update for quite some time, however some problems at home have prevented me being able to prioritise this. But here we go!**

 **Poofx thank you for the follow and the favourite!**

 **CrimsonClover26 Thanks for following and favouriting the story!'**

 **Black-Wolf-92 Thank you for favourting the story and following it. Also thank you very much for favourting and following my profile!**

 **Alsynea Thank you for following the story.**

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 **Mchurch1992 thank you for your review!**


	50. Chapter 50

**CHAPTER FITY-ONE**

 _Jacob Black_

Erin was lay out on the grass on her front lawn and I watched her from the road marvelling in her surprisingly calming presence. She was dressed in running clothes and was panting heavily. Her face was flushed and the sweat was beaded on her skin giving it a glow.

I made noisy steps towards her, ensuring she was aware of my approach so as not to startle her.

Erin was smiling slightly and her eyes shot open as her head adjusted to look at me. She didn't move to stand and her doe like eyes only widened further as she challenged me. I noticed the headphones, the buds pressed into her ears. The music hummed and it was full of lyrics I didn't recognise.

With much more grace that a man my size should be in use off I lay down beside Erin in the dewy grass with a smile.

She reached out and her sweaty palm rested against my jaw line which was shadowed from a couple of days of not shaving. I'd been away, staying with the Cullen's, which meant sleeping out in the forest and keeping my guard constantly up.

"You smell different" she noted and I pulled a bud from her ear pressing it into my own. I closed my eyes and drew a lazy breath. We were on her front lawn, the sun pouring over us and the soft beat was growing on me. With Erin pressed to my side I felt contentment as the Wolf eased.

I stilled as her lips ghosted over my cheek and moved my eyes to look at her own bloodshot ones, they were set under dark skin from sleepless nights. Erin was blushing and she rolled away from me turning her look back up to the sky and the bright sunlight which was almost painful to appreciate.

I continued to stare at the beautiful person she was. The love I held for her was overwhelming and emotions were something I still couldn't find myself to be content with. But the problem was Erin wasn't mine. She would be destined for things bigger and better than La Push. When she left, she would burn this place down with her.

The hand that rested closest to Erin slipped out to stroke her side and she giggled nervously. I rolled quickly onto my side and planted a strong kiss on her mouth. I eased my tongue with hers, and pressed my lips hard against hers. Trying to tell her how much I needed her.

She pulled away to quickly turning her head away and looking more distant than before.

"Why don't we run together?" I questioned smirking slightly as I looked down her Lycra clad outfit.

"Because you can run faster than me" she quipped sitting up and looking at me with annoyance.

"I'm sure you could keep up" I teased and she frowned further.

We continued to sit on the grass but I remained aware that Noah could appear at any point and chase me off and away from Erin.

"Why are you here Jake. I would really like you to leave" she snapped and I laughed a little at her abrupt demands.

"No you wouldn't" I sparked back grinning at her.

"I've come to take you out, if you'll come. A little birds told me you were done with your list, you've thrown out the rule book. I mean drugs, planes … wanting to have sex" I added the last point just to watch her get flustered.

"I do not want to have sex!" She screeched standing up and casting me a furious stare. "And even if I did, which I don't, I wouldn't be getting it from someone like you!" She snarled turning her back on me and storming towards the porch. I caught her arm though and pulling her she was against my chest, her legs around my waist and kissing me with a feverish attack. I was backing her up and pressing her against the railing on the porch lost in her scent, her emotions and mostly by her desire. She was warm to the touch, flustered and craving everything I gave her.

"Princess" I broke of are lips parting and her eyes going distant once more. "I brought you a boat" I gushed overwhelmed by the feel of her heart against my chest, her skin burning up, and the feel of my hand under her shirt.

She scoffed at me, allowing her legs to fall so she dropped beside me, are bodies almost unbearably close.

"Well … I haven't quite brought you a boat. But well … I borrowed a boat, for you" I added fluffing up the words a little.

"I don't like boats" she muttered frowning.

"You don't like much huh?" I mocked and she smiled a little, but it was a weak one.

"I like you" she blushed.

"Who wouldn't" I mocked.

"Your arrogance is misplaced" she spited and I laughed a little, wanting to do nothing but cease her up in my arms and kiss her again.

"Lets go sailing" I pleaded. "Please Purser. Be adventurous. Be spontaneous with me!" I lured but she recoiled a little. Spontaneous and adventurous were not things that made her fill with a sense of desire.

"Fine" she relented and an hour later we were off, on a boat I'd borrowed from the Cullen's and the wind speeding us along. Erin was laughing. Really laughing.

Her hair spilled out loose and free as the wind tousled it.

She didn't look so tiered any more, and the sea air had her filled with life.

Her swimsuit hugged her curves and the heat was causing small beads of sweat on her brow.

She giggled with every lurch and stood with her arms out feeling the wind rush against her.

I steered the boat with ease, having practiced in advanced under the careful teaching of Carlisle who was the only one patient enough, and tolerant with my pursuit of Erin.

Everyone seemed to see it as a bad idea.

The Wolves, the Vampires, the humans.

Even Erin didn't seem particularly taken with the idea of a lasting relationship between us.

We were cruising through the waves on a path to nowhere. I kept in my mind that I had vowed to get her home before it got dark. Or before Noah came home to find her gone. Whichever came first.

Although I suspect Paige would be eager to snitch on her.

Erin had a pretty messed up family. Given the estrangement in mine I suppose I was a little ambitious to make such statements. But something about her family surely fuelled her anxiety. Her brother was determined she filled out his own lifelong of going to University. Her sister was jealous of her success, and the way Noah lavished her with attention. Erin's Mother had no such interest in her, not emotionally, she worked to pay bills, to feed the family, she had no time for a relationship with her children. As for Erin's father. If it even was her Father. What with her unnatural complexion, so pale for the reservation. Well her Father avoid them all like they were something bad, what with his endless long haul trips across the country.

Even her cat was a little crazy.

"Hey!" Erin beckoned a playful grin framing her face which was beginning to tan a little. She solumed a little as she stared me over.

"So … Shapeshifters. You can just shift anytime right. Like if I wanted you to shift now, you would right?" She enquired and I nodded hesitantly. Erin had the most oddest requests.

"What makes you shift, usually?" She asked and I frowned uncertain of what this would turn into.

"Anger usually. My temper usually gets the better of me. Stress. Danger" I shrugged.

"What about sex … you can still have sex right?" She questioned her voice surprisingly even but her blush gave away how flustered she must have been by asking such a question.

"Yes. Sex isn't a issue" I laughed.

"But it was, with me" she poked.

I stared blankly at her until her scowl was so set in her face I thought it may leave a permanent mark.

"That night … in the loft" she prompted.

"That was different. You make me angry. You make me wilder than any woman I've ever been with. I had to discuss it with the Pack. I needed to make sure I wouldn't hurt you" I cut in.

"And?" She demanded.

"I can control myself" I assured.

"Good" she nodded turning her back and walking away back towards the front of the boat.

"Good?" I mocked trying to challenge her.

"That's all" she muttered her arms crossing over her chest and suddenly she moved to snatch up her shirt pulling it over her head and shoving her arms through with a jerk.

"If you want to have sex with me, you just need to ask Princess" I challenged my grip tightening on the wheel.

"Shut up Jake!" She hissed keeping her back to me.

"Look Princess there's no need to be so prude. People have sex all the time. It's natural. And, as a … well as two people, existing in a relationship, it's bound to arise at some point. You'll do yourself no good suppressing your desires" I argued back, unable to leave the topic alone. Although I would have been wise to.

"What do you know of making love!" She seethed turning to narrow her gaze on me. I felt myself coming undone under her sharp stare.

Her chest rose with every angered breath and her hands clenched and unclenched rhythmically.

"Not much of loving. More of sex" I shrugged. It was the truth. I didn't make love, or I hadn't. For I hadn't been in love. Not with anyone but her.

"Well when I wanted you, and you rejected me. You can string me along with all this Pack business but we both know this is about Bella Swan!" She interjected a swift change of conversation that left me aghast.

"Bull-shit!" I announced killing the boats engine and striding towards her. "Bull-shit Purser. It's nothing to do with Bella. This is about you and me. And about your own insecurities" I cried.

"My insecurities!" She screeched. "Jeeze Jake, well I'm sorry you think I'm so insecure. It's not like you have given me much reason to be that way" she snarled shoving at my chest with both her hands which were more forceful than I'd thought possible.

Erin was rilled and her anger was turning me on.

"I've only ever wanted you Erin. You know that!" I insisted backing her up with every step I took closer towards her.

"Lies" she hissed.

"You wanted her. More than you wanted me. I don't care, I know it in my heart. And you've been with other women. You've been shoving your dick into anything with a hole while I've been sitting on my virginity like it's a friggin prize!" She howled pounding her fists into my chest so violently she began to loose her balance.

I grabbed for her, easily catching her arm but she beat me off. She righted herself only momentarily before she was falling again and this time she was going backwards, hitting the water with a scream.

Naturally I went in after her.

Although in most cases it would have been quite amusing to watch her cool off, quite literally, Purser couldn't swim.

Erin being Erin wasn't looking for being saved. She managed to break the surface before I could get to her. Her lips were a horrible shade of blue and she seemed to be holding her breath. I could see the wildness in her eyes as she failed about, kicking up water around her as she tried to float.

I pushed out towards her but she got the hang of it and began to paddle away from me. It was the kind of paddle a child does with armbands on. Erin was splashing water everywhere and I just wanted to seize hold of her and stop her in her tracks.

Erin was in the water.

Erin Purser was actually swimming in the ocean.

I swan only a short distance behind her and once we were by the boat, which only took a few seconds I grabbed at her waist pushing her upwards. My hands pushed on her arse raising her so she could grab the ladder and efficiently pull herself onboard.

She turned to look down at me offering me her hand and I laughed accepting it as I hauled myself onto the deck collapsing beside her on the floor.

Her lips were still a little blue and her hands remained fisted by her sides. But I was glad to see she was at least taking in short breaths. I tried not to stare to hard at her disheveled swimwear and shirt.

"I could have drowned" she muttered clenching and unclenching her hands.

I didn't answer drawing my eyes closed and feeling my skin quickly drying and edging closer to her, hoping my body warmth may aid her.

"Jake! What, you've got nothing to stay to me now?" She demanded and I smirked at her sass.

"Your still a virgin?" I grinned and she gave me her best stink eye pushing my face away from her with a sigh.


	51. Chapter 51

**CHAPTER FITY-TWO**

 _Brian Albe_

The cloud bank sat low today on the reservation and Erin was the last lesson of the working day. I pulled up outside Jacob's house and waited for the woman to emerge. Somewhat doubtful of any such appearance. Erin after all owed me nothing, and I'd spoken words I could now never take back.

We hadn't held any conversation since my outburst, and I was surprised by Noah's ability to acts a mediator between us and pin her down for a lesson. But this was on Erin's terms and I could understand why she'd chosen Black's house. Which had in a way become her own.

Rumours were flying around the reservation about the pair, and many spoke of them as a fully-fledged couple. It was suggested they were living together permanently and that was were the believable rumours ended. Others involved eloping, forced marriage and drug dealers.

I ran my glance over the porch which stretched around the house and seemed to look a lot like something out of a bad western movie. Jacob caught my eye, and I grunted frustrated I'd not caught sight of him earlier.

But he wasn't watching me.

His eyes stared into nothingness. The woodland his house sat in front off seemed to hold his attention as he sat in the large rocker. Another man chair was lent up against the rails swigging at a beer to following the same empty stare as Jacob's.

Erin appeared suddenly catch both of the men's attention and they both beamed at her with a love that made me remember all the good things about her. She looked happier than I'd seen her in a while. Perhaps ever. Her cheeks were rosy and she dressed in floral skirt and button down blouse which looked rather beautiful set against the auburn of her hair. Something Jacob seemed to notice from the way he stared at her.

The other man said something and she turned a little to look at him and I realised she was talking with Billy Black. My eyes nearly popped right out of my head there and then. Jacob and his estranged Father, drinking beers, with Erin Purser. The world had gone mad.

Erin laughed and it was a real laugh, it reached her eyes which glistened. She began to bounce towards the steps but squealed as the shirtless Jacob pulled her back. Suddenly he was out of the chair and she was in his arms.

The kiss was brisk but the way he held her, his hand coming to rub her arse through the skirt and they way their bodies pressed together it made me look away.

Erin pushed him from her. But she was smiling as she did it and with a wave she was down the steps and into the car before I could fully prepare myself for the hurricane she may bring with her.

"Hi Brian" she announced flattening down her skirt and brushing the imaginary dirty from it.

"Erin" I nodded.

"So there's this new movie coming out tonight. I brought three tickets. I thought we could all go" she suggested, and by we, I knew she implied Christie and I attending with her.

"Nothing to sappy?" I challenged and she shook her head firmly.

"I don't do sappy" she corrected.

"Of course you don't" I reminded myself.

We drove in silence for a little while and I noted from a few sloppy habits she must have picked up on from Black, he'd been giving her the private tuition she needed in the rabbit.

"I owe you a apology" I began but she interrupted.

"You certainly do" she agreed.

"It was a really shitty thing I did Erin, I'm sorry" I admitted.

"It was majorly shitty Brian" she agreed. "But we all do shitty things. Hey I do it every single day. And yes maybe some of what you said was true. But I didn't need to hear it, not from you" she shrugged clenching at the wheel and I dropped the conversation as she hurtled straight over a mini-roundabout and we both screamed as the car thudded back down onto the flat surface and are seat belts locked.

Erin blew the hair from her face. Her hands clenched so hard with terror I thought I might have to prise her fingers from the steering wheel one by one.

Then she laughed.

A high-pitched giggle burst from her throat and suddenly she was double over in hysterical laughter. And I began to laugh with her. It rumbled in my chest until I through my head back and laughed with her.

Tears streamed down her face as she let go her joyous laughter filling the small space.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hi guys, back from my holiday and feeling eager to get this story fully posted so updates are going to be coming in more regularly. Please review!**

 **Alexmarierose Thank you for the favourite.**


	52. Chapter 52

**CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE**

 _Erin Purser_

It was a hot sticky day but Jake was trying to assure me the evening wouldn't be so.

He had made an unpleasant habit of accessing the annex through the window which I purposefully left unlatched. Despite my feeble attempts of denying that I wanted him there, I did, oh how much I did.

Jake was watching me from my own bed, he was stretched out in only some cargo shorts with his arms crossed behind his head which seemed to emphasis his toned chest and arm-pit hair which was making me feel all mushy inside.

Sebastian was padding around the bed looking unimpressed with the intruder and I strode around in my dressing-gown trying to figure out what I was going to put on. I was fresh from a shower, cleanly shaven and moisturised in something that I'd borrowed from Paige that made me smell of lavender.

My hair spilled in wild curls damp at the ends from the water but it was drying quickly. Jake's eyes hadn't really left my chest and my nipples seemed to be saluting him from across the room.

"I didn't know what you drank? So I just brought beer" Jacob shrugged sitting forwards his hand outstretched to pet Sebastian who hissed in protest and bopped at his outstretched hand snagging him with sharp claws.

"Sebastian!" I cried shooing the cat from the bed and picking up his hand in horror. I placed a soft kiss against the skin that was already healing before my eyes. Jakes hand moved into my hair and I was moving forward under his guidance until I was sat in his lap.

I could feel his desire and it heightened my own. His hands slowly edged towards the robes ties when the phones buzzing interrupted the moment.

I sprang from the bed and busied myself on finding a skirt while Jake searched the room for the phone I hadn't seen him discard.

I pulled a cream floral print from the hanger and chucked it behind me towards the bed. It was as I ran my hands through my lingerie draw looking for a specific bra set Jakes body pressed into my own.

I gasped and pressed myself back into him as his hand slid inside the dressing gown loosening it as his hand palmed over my breast stroking it gently. I bucked as he pinched my nipple and his mouth came to nip at my neck.

My mind was urging him to go further but his hand withdrew and he parted with a simple whisper. Wear the green one.

In the second it took me to turn back he was gone.

* * *

I was onto my third beer. Or no. Perhaps it was my forth. I wasn't sure. All I knew was that Jacob was well into his and didn't even look dazed yet. I would have given been foolish to try and keep up with a man of his size, and metabolism.

Quil was sat with Embry close enough for me to stretch out and touch them if I wanted to. But I didn't need to. I was sat between Jacobs legs which cocooned me from the social anxiety I should have felt. Because I was here with the man.

The man no one wanted to mess with.

It was a raging fire and the food had long been eaten but still it roared strong on the beach. I thought it was a shame that more weren't here. Perhaps we'd put people off. Are attendance. But the main players were here. Rachel and Paul had made an appearance, even if she wouldn't meet my eye, or perhaps it was Jacob she was avoiding. I couldn't be sure.

Either way the feel of Jacob's fingers sometimes brushing across my leg or his foot toying with my own was enough contentment for me. Life seemed easy here, sat out on the beach. With people I loved, people I cared for and was learning to trust all over again, life couldn't have been more simpler.

I went for another beer standing made me feel a little woozy but the thrill was delicious and addictive. I felt I'd shed my inabitions and my hips swayed to the music playing from the radio station and my bare feet danced along the sand as I tilted my head back to look at the moon.

Jake was looking up at me, as he stretched out like it was his own private performance as his marvelling eyes made me feel beautiful.

"We should head off" Quill suggested looking up to the sky and acknowledging the cloud bank that's as forming over head and the odd rumble of thunder in the distance.

Jacob looked at me for approval and I nodded in agreement. It was late. I was tipsy and everyone at home thought I was babysitting Claire.

"Best get you home then Princess?" Jake suggested taking my hand and pulling me away from the group as they bid a lazy farewell and a few wolf-whistles followed us down the beach.

"Quil always looks so lonely" I mused my tipsy ramblings sure to fill are entire walk home. It was cold and the skirt I'd worn was doing little to ease my freezing legs but I felt safe in Jacobs embrace.

"Well you would wouldn't you. If the girl you were destined to be with didn't even know of your existence as a Wolf" he shrugged.

"Were you lonely?" I questioned.

"I was, isolated for quite a while. After the Cullens and the war I became that way. I had nothing to come home to. Not until you. But I was lost for a long time before that. I didn't deserve you, I knew that I couldn't have you so I tried to find myself in another" he tried to explain but the alcohol had made me giggle and I began hiccuping which had him roaring with laughter.

The walk home seemed to be never ending and my feet were beginning to dully ache despite the sensible trainers I was wearing.

"We could run? You've never ran with me before?" Jake suggested a delicious smirk that made me feel weak at the knees overcoming his face.

I hiccuped before replying my blush rosy. "Kay" I agreed bracing myself for the sprint of my life.

Jacob counted down and suddenly we were off and running down the empty road passing houses and parked cars in a rush as adrenaline and alcohol mixed to make me more reckless than I would have ever dared to be. I kicked harder trying to keep Jacob within sight but he was faster than anything human could ever be and easily double backed for me not even breaking into a sweat.

"You don't run to bad Purser" he praised and I shoved at him playfully.

"You held an unfair advantage" I stiffened walking ahead noticing we'd neared the street where the evening would finally reach it's end.

I skipped ahead of him trying to hold onto the lightheaded delirium the alcohol had ensured for me. My mind wasn't ready to come crashing down to the reality of being home, and alone.

The rain had moved across us as it was drizzling by the time I sprung up the porch steps and tried to the door handle. No such luck.

I nudged at the pot with my foot to reach the spare key but that to was absent.

Dam Paige.

I cursed her silently as the thunder rumbled overhead looming in on us. I doubled back down the steps heading towards the back of the house while Jacob followed me in unnerving silence.

A bolt of lightening struck and I squealed pathetically with a hiccup just for good measure.

I tried the back door but that to remained firmly secured.

My eyes scanned the space and I darted towards the Wendy House that would surely not fit us both. But Jacob was following me and in we pilled hardly able to fit ourselves into the space. The confines had Jacob squashed into a painful looking position as the pink that filled the space threatened to blind us.

"Paige has locked me out" I huffed in frustration and Jacob laughed a little.

"We could just head back to mine" Jacob suggested.

"But it would lead to more" I blushed already knowing quite how overwhelmed I would be. How my emotions would betray me and ruin any possibility of pleasure between us.

"It doesn't have to" he countered reaching out to stroke my face, trying to reassure me as he hunched in the Wendy House Noah had built for me when I was three.

"But I'd want it too" I countered and Jacob could only stare.

The alcohol was no longer pulsing through my body. Suddenly I felt stone cold sober and I knew the decision I made next would change my life forever.

Jacob had backed out the confined space and was standing in the rain. The storm flowed over his body and I squeezed my legs firmly together imaging just how I wanted this evening to pan out.

I took Jacob's hand as the rain ran down my limbs and deposited itself onto the dry ground.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Gizmo60 thank you for following and favouriting the story!**


	53. Chapter 53

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR**

 _Jacob Black_

I sat upright in the bed looking across at her. She was asleep, deeply so and I'd managed to detach myself from her to use the bathroom. She looked peaceful asleep, more restful than she did when awake.

Erin slept on top of the sheets and I could see my own body heat may have been bothering her because little droplets of sweat were present on her pale skin.

My eyes lingered on the slight blood that sat on the sheets from the first time I'd taken her, and I'd done it again and again. I still wasn't satisfied. My sexual hunger was awakened by her body and there could be no going back now. I was forever tied to Erin.

She seemed a little fitful in her sleep and I could only imagine the ache that would overcome her in the morning and the embarrassment that would flood her skin. Erin was a woman who knew what she wanted and this carried through to her sexual endeavours.

Her hand reached out fisting the empty sheets were I should have been and my heart ached with love for the woman who slept beside me. I reached out for her lying back down and rolled her into me.

Erin's eyes opened briefly and her leg pulled itself over my chest drawing herself closer to me and she slipped back asleep. I groaned a little at the feel of her warmth so closely against me and remained awake, unable to sleep, absorbed in studying her.

I didn't wake again until late into the afternoon. I sensed this first because of the way the light was filtering through the curtains and I guessed Erin must be awake as the window as opening allowing the sound of automobiles to fill the bedroom.

I peeped a little first through one eye but knew the game was up as Erin sat cross legged on the bed looking down at my naked body which was already giving me away, and acting on it's own accord under her lustful watch.

"You have three miss calls from Quil, one from Sam. Noah has text you, and the mailman has been and delivered you five letters. I've been for a run, showered and am waiting for you before I eat breakfast" Erin announced in a small calculated voice and I noticed how her hands were shaking.

"Is that all" I laughed sitting up and she obscured her eyes from my nudity for a moment before looking back again.

"I … um … I don't know what you expect me to say?" She muttered clenching her fists tightly.

I looked over her. She'd gone running in what exactly? She was sat in my shirt and boxer shorts which was only making me grow harder with desire to make love to her all over again.

"I've taken a paracetamol but I cant take one for another three hours. But Noah tells me I shouldn't mix pain relief with my prescription drugs so I've not taken any of those and …" she broke off as I continued to stare at her.

"And … well" she chewed on her lip for a moment. "And I'd really like to know if we could do it again?" She blushed.

I looked at her with a deathly silence and then so suddenly it made her screech I was crawling towards her and she was backing up the bed. I had her pinned between my arms and the headboard when she finally giggled a soft nervous giggle I kissed her.

* * *

 **Authors Note:** **Reviews much appreciated!**

 **elorika10 thank you for favouriting the story!**

 **natsumi456 thank you for such a positive review!**

 **kinkymistress87 thank you for the favourite and the follow.**


	54. Chapter 54

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE**

 _Erin Purser_

School was going to be finishing in the coming days and a buzz of excitement filled the hallways. I however was filled with a undeniable guilt. But I also had the burning desire in me to hit the send button.

Sebastian strode the length of the room demonstrating my anxiety on my behalf as my hand shook over the button that would send the drafted paper to the printers. The school paper was going to publish the article I had written. The one I had threatened Jacob with. The one I had promised would come.

I was in a bubble of love for him, a bubble that involved love, sex and was broken only by driving lessons, my family and the growing pressure of leaving for New York.

My suitcase was packed and propped against the door. Noah already had the engine running on the car outside and I could hear Paige screaming my name from the floors bellow.

I loved Jacob. I loved Jacob more than I had ever loved anything in my life. But my life was tinged, by my own self-loathing and depreciation. I didn't deserve to be loved. And I knew, as I still did, I was being ate away by the knowledge that it hadn't always been this way. Jacob hadn't always loved me, nor had he wanted me.

He had lied to me. Told such terrible lies. Ones that were irrecoverable. He had damaged me. I was the person I was today because of Jacob Black.

I was the anxious, depressed, unstable mess because of his actions. And the actions of his friends, my friends.

They deserved to be punished. They deserved to be ousted.

I looked at Claire and I saw what I could have been. Had Jacob of loved me. I could have been that.

I had to oust this lie, for the good of the people of La Push, for my own sanity.

The Tribe. They had caused this.

They had destroyed my life.

I could never move forward with this hanging over me. So I had no choice. This story had been written for me, and now had come the time to tell it.

I was leaving La Push and I would burn the place down with me. I would take no prisoners. Jacob and I were over.

We should never have been.

I hit the send key and powered of the device. The tears flowed freely and I didn't try to brush them away as I took one last look at my room. My life.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **I hope you've enjoyed the short update, would love feedback! What did you make of Erin taking her revenge on the Tribe, was she wrong?**

 **natsumi456 thank you so much for your review. So glad you enjoyed the chapter, and the build up of there relationship. It's been a slow-burn, and there's still some turbelance ahead but it will all be worth it for them in the end!**

 **.Crann thanks for supporting the story!**

 **.129 thanks for favourting the story!**

 **mchurch1992 thanks for the review! I loved writing the chapter, and glad you liked it also! I think Erin's crossed a massive milestone now and although she still has some issues she's finaly realising how madly in love with Jacob she is.**

 **CaptainCumberbatch thank you for the review. You seem to have a great understanding of Erin. And I love that your enjoy her so much! I tried to seek a balance between her anxiety but still remaining strong willed and abrupt when it comes to other things. Hope you continue to enjoy the story, thank again!**


	55. Chapter 55

**CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT**

 _Brian Albe_

I stood shoulder to shoulder with Erin's small collective who had come to wish her well as she returned to La Push. Her visit was unexpected and Noah told me that Jacob had been out to visit her a few weeks earlier.

He told me she hadn't been right since.

Erin's Mum couldn't make it, and her Grandmother was living out her last days in the rest-home. So it was myself and Brandi. Noah and Paige. Jacob, Quil, Embry and Claire that gathered in the arrivals lounge to wish this girl all the love in the world. For we all loved Erin, dearly.

Erin was dragging two large suitcases behind her and I only recognised her though her mane of hair. Otherwise she looked like a whole new person. She was chubbier, in a healthy looking way, her hair was cut back shorter and she moved with more confidence than I'd ever thought I'd see her be able to expel.

Noah moved for her first and she through herself at him dropping her cases and launching herself into a bear hug, her feet leaving the ground. She sobbed her tears coming in streams down her cheek and everyone seemed relieved to see her as the girl before us looked overwhelmed.

But Jacob Black stood solum his eyes not leaving her and his frown set deep. He didn't even crack a smile when Claire planted a big sloppy kiss on Erin which had everyone laughing.

The fact that Jacob had offered up his apartment for Erin's welcome home party was troubling me to no end. A few more faces had turned out for this one including Jacob's Father who was sat watching the pair with intent eyes.

Erin was nursing a large mug of steaming earl grey tea and hadn't eaten anything from the special Vegan platter Jacob had laid out for her. Instead she watched him and he watched her, while the room held their breath.

I made idle small talk my eyes falling to often on Erin who had began clenching and unclenching her hands in a nervous shake. Even as Quil was embracing her I could sense her focus was so intently on Jacob she was taking none of it in.

Someone had cracked open a bottle of wine and we were all toasting towards Erin's fantastic grades when she burst into tears. I put it down to a combination of stress, jet-lag and being generally overwhelmed.

Jacob reached for her first moving from the shadows he was lurking in and at first she fell into his embrace. Inhaling him she nuzzled at his chest before suddenly recovering herself and shoving him away.

Erin was barefoot and running from the house before he could process and begin a pursuit. I followed her out into the road tirelessly calling her name and leant against the porch cursing her out as she headed into the trees when Billy Black rolled up alongside me.

"These young folk" he laughed as I heard the smashing platters and Jacob rage exploding. Suddenly he appeared running in the direction Erin had just gone and shifting into a Wolf all in one swift move.

My hold of the rail tightened as I tried to take it all in.

"Ruled by their emotions" he muttered and I could only meekly nod in agreement.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Reading-Addict-Meg thank you for following the story and my profile.**

 **Guest thank you for the review, hope you've enjoyed the update, lots more to look forwards to!**


	56. Chapter 56

**CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE**

 _Erin Purser_

I was running. Not only from that house, from those people, but from Jacob. He was stalking me like his prey. Once already he'd nearly cut me off taking a shortcut through the woods but my shriek of horror had him recoiling.

I was a force to be reckoned with.

I was the storm.

My feet stung with every barefooted step I took and the branches snagged on my hair as I thought my way through the retched woods.

Jacob was catching up easily now. He was biding his time before he attacked. He was enjoying this game.

Prey and predator.

My voice was shrill and I stuck out blindly as the Wolfs head reared against me and I was knocked out the ground. The dress split up the side and I wanted to slap him there and then.

But he was angry, growling as he stalked over me, trapping me between his body and the leafs that bedded out the forest floor.

"What do you want!" I hissed jerking my hands into his fur trying to force him from me. And he snarled again this time louder, so loud it even silenced my protests.

We shared a look of intensity that made my blood run cold. I didn't break his intense stare, the Wolf's eyes identical to his own, a deep obis.

But I was an obis. I was a storm. I was havoc.

I stared him down until he looked away and moved from me. Fur retreated and within a blink Jacob was a man not a Wolf and I exhaled my fists clenching an unclenching with a ferocity.

"Where are you going Erin?" He demanded unfazed by his own nudity.

"I don't know" I admitted meekly.

"Why'd you come back?" He asked again. So many questions. Always questions.

"To see you" I confessed, the hole in my chest was never easing, never closing when we were apart. It was open, and sore. A dull ache that kept me up at night.

He looked at me like I'd kicked him. Like I'd just spat in his face.

I hadn't meant to say that.

I collected myself then. "I'm going to see Bella and you can't stop me" I warned.

He looked ashen for a moment.

"Your right, I cannot. Lets go Purser" he noted stepping forward and instantly resifting back into the wolf.

My body numbed for a moment before I fell into step beside him.

I brushed down the green silk dress and wiped my bare feet on the mat that was outside the large building. It almost glowed. It reaped of wealth.

My hand shook as I pressed down on the silver door bell and the chimes echoed behind the solid oak I stood before.

I had ran part of the way. Walked the rest. This wasn't somewhere I should be. But I needed to see Bella Swan.

We had detoured only momentarily for Jacob to fetch clothes.

Jacob leant forward I could feel his breath of the bare expanse of my back. I stood still as he ran a hand through my hair and felt the gentle tug as he extracted twigs from my hair. Letting them drop down to the porch without a word.

I remained in place until his hand eventually fell away and I managed to breathe once more.

The door remained firmly closed and I cursed out Bella internally for her lack of hospitality.

Jacob had caught up with me in the woods and led me the rest of the way to her.

I needed to see what I was missing. What had failed to make me good enough for so long.

The door was pulled back suddenly and I pale figure stepped out pulling the door to behind her and stepping out under the clouded sky.

"Jacob" Bella's voice purred as she acknowledged him.

I straightened up the envy flowing through my veins, I was as green-eyed with envy as the dress I wore. I wondered around her small physique measuring her up, comparing her to myself instantly.

We shared little in common.

I was curvaceous where Bella was slim. I was freckled where she was just pale. Her hair was smooth while mine was curled. Her hands didn't shake, they were still. Mine rattled.

"It's good to see you Erin" she spoke softly and I wanted to punch her in her goddam perfect face. The only thing stopping me was the pathetic look on Jacob's face instead.

No I'd punch him instead.

"Are you in love with Jacob?" I accused with a quip.

Bella laughed a little, it was musical and made me hate her even more.

"Not in the way you think" she confessed.

"But he loves you doesn't he. In the way I think" I futhered and she shook her head firmly.

"He did once. But not in the way he loves you. Jacob could never Imprint on me. Because he was already in love with someone else. You. But you were young Erin, to young for him. The relationship would have been to complex, and Jacob wasn't mature enough to deal with it all. So he ran away and sort solace with us. By the time he was ready for you, well you were an enigma.

He couldn't figure you out, not all.

He would come here and talk but nothing of you. You are idolised by this man. He worships the ground you walk on. He would walk through hell for you Erin" Bella pleaded.

"I've been through hell Bella. I fucking live there okay. And do you know what when I needed him, he was with you, when I needed him most" I deapanded. "How am I suppose to come through that?" I accused.

"Jacob was there for me when Edward wasn't Erin. Jacob was chasing after me, I made him feel I needed him, which I did. But it's me who took him from you. It's me who is to blame Erin. Don't deny him your love because of what happened in the past" the brunette pleaded.

"You don't understand!" I screamed finally loosing my temper and seizing the girl by her shoulders.

"Jacob running away. Jacob denying the Imprint. He made me ill. Iller than I was. Do you understand that. And he is the only thing that can make me better.

He left me for you Bella!" I shouted with one firm shake of her strong body.

"But he didn't want me Erin don't you get it!" She screamed right back at me. "It was all a distraction. I was his distraction. He wanted you all along, his mind, his body, his soul. It all wanted you Erin. He is in love with you".

"Screw you" I denounced coldly.

I dropped my hands from her shoulders and stepped back.

I was in love with Jacob Black.

And he was in love with me.

I was a mess. I was the storm.

I had to own that.

I turned on my heel and stormed bare foot back into the forest not caring if Jacob chose to follow me or not.


	57. Chapter 57

**CHAPTER SIXTY**

 _Erin Purser_

The kitchen was hot, boiling almost and I had sweated off whatever makeup I had quickly applied that morning.

I was cooking in Jacob's kitchen. I was living in his apartment. But we didn't see each other. He was avoiding me ever since my performance at the Cullens.

I didn't want to be with my family, because I felt it was somewhere I could no longer call home. So when the offer was extended I didn't decline. I slept in his bed every night. Not that he was ever there to be with me. Not often anyway. Sometimes I'd feel the bed dip in the night and I'd roll into his embrace and lie there wordlessly.

I'd been back three weeks and gained nothing.

I had resumed my driving lessons with Brian and process was minimal but progress none the less.

I lived in Jacobs house. Ate his food. Cooked him dinner. Watched his films. Cleaned his bedding. But we didn't interact.

Billy came to visit me everyday.

We talked about a lot of things. Mainly about my illness.

Billy talked about when Jacob imprinted. Through Billy I was able to relive my life when I was eleven, when Jacob had turned sixteen and are life's were changed forever with one simple meeting.

But now I was almost an adult and Jacob was well into his twenties and we were old enough to make a decision for ourselves.

Jacob took shifts constantly, never ending patrols and on the odd occasion we passed in the house I would ignore him. Deflecting any attention he would try and show to me.

Right now I was trying to cook a roast dinner and it was one catastrophe after the other. The turkey hadn't properly defrosted and the vegetables where half peeled. Something was burning in the oven but I slumped against the counter unable to contented with it.

An alarm was beeping and I tired to dull it form my mind.

Something snapped within me and I screeched.

I stood with a growl of frustration and slammed the timer against the work surface. Over and over again until the beeping stopped and only the breath of mine and another's filled the space.

"Jacob" I breathed and I heard him mutter a curse in Quiluete.

He must have been pissed to be swearing at me again.

It made my stomach flutter.

The guests would be here in an hour. Billy. Quil. Embry. Claire. Noah. Paige. Brian. Brandi. They'd all be here expecting food.

I kept my back and my tear stained face away from Jake and moved to the oven pulling down the door and instantly reaching to seize the tray of signed stuffing without thinking. My fingertips only managed to graze the hot plate before Jacob yanked it from my grasp sacrificing his own much larger hands to the burn as he slammed it onto the counter with a growl deep in the back of his throat.

I whimpered a little looking at my singed finger tips but he was grabbing me then thrusting my hand underneath the cool tap and stroking my hair as I began to sob. He was kissing me slowly, gently, whispering into my ear.

I jerked away when my hand had gone numb and seized up a damp tea towel binding my hand in it. Jacob stepped back cautious of the wildness in my eyes.

But I moved with him, taking his hand, his burnt skin that was already easing back to its normal state. Without a trace of damage. I kissed his fingertips, then his palm, then his neck and finally his lips.

"I had a list" I gasped pulling back for air as my head span with the delicious feel of his fingers unbuttoning my blouse and loosening my bra straps. But he paused to listen to me. "I had a list of things I avoided. Things I found to be dangerous. But I don't need my list anymore. I don't care about it. Because I'm living and living wildly!" I gushed and reached for his shirt yanking it over his head with a firm tug.

Jacob was backing me up towards the kitchen island and his arm outstretched in front of him sweeping it of utensils, trays and equipment. He lifted me up onto the surface and I dragged him up with me. Running my hands in searing trails over his toned skin as his hands parted my pliant legs and I groaned.

* * *

My name is Erin Purser. I used to have a list. A list of things I would avoid, dangerous things, and Jacob Black was on the top of it.

I don't really worry about lists anymore, I don't try and track irrational fears, because I dealt with them a long time ago.

* * *

 **BlueJae3 thank you for following Hair Pin Curve and favouriting it. Also my appreciation that you have followed and favourited my profile!**

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 **.Awesome.19 thanks for favouriting the story.**

 **So we've reached the end. I started this story mid-way through writing Doing it the Blonde Way and it helped me to come to terms with some of the own turmoil in my life. Erin was a slight reflection of my own anxiety, depression and issues that had surfaced a number of years ago around the time when I was learning to drive.**

 **I hope Erin has been able to resonate with all those who read this fiction. She may have had her own issues, but she was fierce and true to herself. Erin loved deeply and found her own happy ending.**

 **Your support throughout this story has been amazing, and I hope you can all take something away from reading this.**

 **You are stronger than you think, and able to face far more than you think possible.**


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